


Verbannen

by cakedinice



Category: Loki - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor 2 - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Swearing, Violence, some gore, theres sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 76,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1817947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakedinice/pseuds/cakedinice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor 2 AU where Queen Frigga summons an ancient and irritated being to serve as a protector for her son Loki. Verbannen hates Loki's stupid Asgardian guts at first, but the more she's near him, the more she realizes that they aren't so different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

It was just a typical day for me. Well, I say day, but there wasn't really day or night where I was, drifting around the cosmos. That's all I ever did anymore, though I stopped occasionally to investigate different worlds, usually causing some panic and snatching up a few of the inhabitants for a meal.

I had to eat somehow.

I could never stay in the same realm for long though; it was part of my punishment that I had to leave a place after what I supposed were a few days. I wasn't sure; the Nine had such different definitions of what a 'day' was. I could care less anyway.

I was particularly interested in Midgard; the beings there were absolutely steeped in hatred and ignorance. Unlike the inhabitants of the other realms, the Midgardians had allowed me to fall past myth and legend and they believed themselves to be the only creatures in the Nine Realms. I was glad for it; it made dragging them off and killing them much easier. I would even stay near the corpse until it was found and the ones that came to collect it would blame the slaughter on animal or another Midgardian. The funniest thing about them however, was their awareness that no being of Midgard could have done this, yet to comfort themselves, they refused to believe the evidence of their eyes.

It was most amusing.

Anyway, I was drifting around the stars somewhere near Jotunheim, when I felt myself being summoned.

This was unusual. I had existed for nearly three thousand years without being bothered, but now I was being called upon and there was only one being in the Nine Realms that could summon me: Queen Frigga of Asgard.

I hadn't been to Asgard since my exile, and I hadn't missed it. If I had loathed the Asgardians while I was still among them, it was nothing compared to how I despised them now.

But Queen Frigga was calling upon me, and I had no choice but to answer.

I sent out a telepathic message to her saying "Yes my Queen?"

"Report to Asgard immediately." The reply came in my mind.

"Of course. I'm near Jotunheim at the moment, so it may take me some time to arrive there." I answered.

I had nearly forgotten my hatred for this form of communication, but I certainly remembered it now.

"Go to Jotunheim, Heimdall will open the Bifrost."

I paused. She must believe this urgent if she wanted me there badly enough to allow me to use the Bifrost.

"Yes my Queen." I answered, twisting through the emptiness of space toward Jotunheim.

I landed on the frozen wasteland of Jotunheim and wind whipped all around me, blowing snow through the icy air. I was aware of the frigidness of the air, but I couldn't feel it. I had stopped feeling differences in temperature a long time ago, and for that matter, I had stopped feeling anything a long time ago.

I glanced around as I waited for the Bifrost to open and started to pace back and forth impatiently. I doubted that the Jotuns would dare approach me; they weren't as thick as the Midgardians. I didn't understand where they lived exactly; did they create homes out of ice or morph into it or what?

"Heimdall can't see you. Are you hiding?" Frigga's voice asked from inside my head.

I scowled up at the sky. Of course I wasn't hiding. I glanced down at myself and realized that Heimdall couldn't see me because my body wasn't there. There was a cloud of black smoke where my body ought to have been; I had even forgotten that I used to have a body.

I concentrated and the smoke took the vague shape of a body, through I still wasn't solid and the black smoke writhed within my form.

A light shot down from the sky and engulfed me and I found myself speeding through empty space on the Bifrost. It was much faster than how I travelled and if I had had a head, it would have been spinning.

I found myself in an enormous bronze room with a domed ceiling. Heimdall pulled his sword from the sheath that controlled the Bifrost and stared coldly down at me with his golden eyes. Queen Frigga was waiting there as well, her lips pursed into a thin line.

I automatically dropped to my knees and bowed to her, having no choice in the matter.

"Rise Verbannen." Frigga instructed.

I rose and I couldn't help my lip twitching in irritation. She had said my name, though I didn't remember it. It was also part of my punishment that I couldn't remember my name; even if someone said it a thousand times, it would slip out of my head like water flowing from a crack in a dam.

"You summoned me, Queen?" I addressed.

"Yes." She said "We will discuss the matter in the palace."

The domed room around us ceased spinning and a large circular door opened to the rainbow bridge leading to the castle, a carriage waiting on it to take us there.

I had completely forgotten how beautiful Asgard was, and I tried to seem uninterested in the rainbow beneath my feet and the glistening lake and the enormous castle and the snowy mountains that dominated the sky line as I followed Frigga into the carriage.

The carriage driver gave me a nasty look as he closed the door and I smiled to myself. It was good to know that they despised me nearly as much as I did them. We rode in silence to the castle and I felt Frigga's eyes watching me. I must look horrible to her. Excellent.

"I do apologize for my appearance, my Queen." I said, giving her a false, jagged smile. "I must look truly monstrous to you."

She didn't answer me immediately and gave me a hard look.

"Inside you have always been cruel Verbannen, but now… Now it has warped you so that you are the very embodiment of malice."

I laughed softly, gazing out of the window at the passing city.

"Do you remember what you looked like before?" She asked quietly.

"I do not even remember what having a body is like." I answered, my jaw tightening.

"…I see." Frigga mused, worry etched into her worn face. Queen Frigga had always been caring; she was the one who captured my heart as to control me rather than destroy me as the Allfather wanted.

It was only fair that the Allfather kill me really; I  _had_  slain his father.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

I had been an Asgardian, bored of my life and lusting for power, when a dark elf disguised as an Asgardian saw such hunger in me and decided to make me a deal. If I managed to slay King Bor, Odin's father, and bring his head and his heart to the elf, then I would be granted immortality and the power to match that of any being in the Nine Realms.

I disguised myself as a servant and entered the castle where I waited years for the chance to get close to the king. My chance came on the eve of a great celebration and I eagerly took it. Using a white magic dagger that the she-elf had given me, I slaughtered the old king in his bed, cutting out his heart and his head and bringing them back to the elf.

The elf was astonished that I completed the task, but did as she promised. She poured evil and darkness and power into the king's heart and instructed me to devour it. She warned me, however, that after I did this, my heart would turn to stone and I would have to cut it out of my chest and hide it, for anyone that my heart fell into possession of would be able to control me.

By the time what remained of the king was found, I was on the dirt floor of the elf's hut, screaming and writhing in pain. It took about an hour for my heart to harden to stone and my power to come into effect, although it felt like an eternity. My skin felt like molten lead and my bones felt as if they were being crushed. The elf left me and I was sure that she had tricked me and that I was dying.

However, after what could have been a life time, the pain stopped. I got up and realized the guards were out on the streets looking for the king's killer.

I used the same dagger to cut what used to be my heart out, which hurt much less than it turning hard in the first place. My heart was now a glowing, fist sized, blood red ruby. I was anxious to kill some Asgardians, so instead of hiding it, I put it in a leather pouch that I tied to my belt.

I ran out into the street and immediately began using my newfound power to slaughter as many guards as I could get my twisted hands on.

I fought my way up to the castle, intending to slay the king's descendants and end his bloodline. Odin himself fought me in the main hall of the palace, but he was young and was no match for my terrible power and I would soon defeat him. Or, at least I would have, if Frigga hadn't intervened.

While I was busy with Odin, Frigga sought out what had made me this way; tracking down the elf and forcing the information out of her. Frigga discovered that if she could take control of my heart, she could control me, if only she could find it.

She returned to where Odin and I fought, intending to give him this information, when she noticed a pouch at my waist. She wasn't sure that this pouch was where my heart was, but unfortunately for me, it was.

She used magic to duplicate herself and attacked me. While I was trying in vain to destroy her doubles that appeared out of thin air and disappeared just as quickly, the real Frigga managed to get the pouch from me.

With my cold gem of a heart in her hand, she ordered me to stop.

I had no choice but to obey.

I was sentenced to banishment for eternity from Asgard and I was forced to forget my name and, of course, I had to obey Queen Frigga until I died. I hadn't returned to Asgard since.

My eyes flickered over to look at Queen Frigga. She had become much more regal since I had left; of course she had, she was now the Queen of Asgard. I had heard rumors that she had become Odin's Queen, but I had heard little else.

The only other thing I had heard about the Royal Family of Asgard was about the birth of their two sons: Thor and Loki. I had heard vague rumors about the two as they grew up, but the most prevalent rumor was about Loki and how he had brought an army of Chitauri to Midgard and attempted to overthrow the planet. He and his army were defeated by Thor and a group of others christened 'The Avengers'. Or something. I didn't actually give much of a damn.

I was jarred out of my thoughts by Queen Frigga. She had said something, but I hadn't heard her.

"I didn't catch that." I said, glancing at her and discovering that she wasn't even inside the carriage anymore; she was standing outside of it, peering in at me in annoyance.

I got up and followed her and several guards into the palace, through golden halls with stained glass windows and innumerable candles flickering in chandeliers overhead.

We eventually came to a circular room with a fire blazing in a grate in the middle. The room was brightly light by a chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

Frigga dismissed the guards and they obeyed, but still managed to throw dirty glares in my direction.

I smirked unpleasantly at them before the doors closed and Queen Frigga turned to face me. "Do you know why I brought you here?" She asked, clasping her hands in front of her.

I walked slowly around the fire, staring down into the burning orange embers.

"No." I replied quietly. "But I can deduce that it's because you are in need of my assistance."

She nodded.

"I need you to serve as a protector for my son, Loki."

I blinked. She wanted me to protect her son? Hadn't he literally  _just_  been captured from Midgard for attempting to take over the planet?

"As you wish." I said.

"You must do as he tells you, unless it will cause harm to any Asgardian or Midgardian. You are also forbidden to aid in his escape." She told me. "I am going to perform a spell that will tie you to him and it will ensure that you will protect him until the day that you burn away to ash."

I didn't respond. I couldn't do a damn thing about it anyway.

"A war's coming, isn't it?" I asked, glancing up at the golden chandelier handing from the equally golden ceiling.

Frigga didn't answer and when I looked back down to her, her eyebrows were raised in surprise and her mouth was pressed into a very thin line.

"I apologize, that was out of line." I said.

She regarded me coldly and went on as if I hadn't spoken.

"Be silent during the process, I need my concentration." She said, unhooking a long silver chain from around her neck. I realized that the blood red ruby set into it was my heart. It was a good bit smaller than I remembered it being.

Frigga began chanting over the flames in a language too old for me to understand and I sniffed unconcernedly and glanced around the room.

I wasn't going to let Frigga know, but I was a bit nervous. That cold jewel was still my heart, and if she did this spell wrong, it could cause me some rather unpleasant side effects. I mean it would anyway; she was tying me to another being when I had been in solitude for three thousand one hundred and thirteen years. I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment.

She suddenly dropped my heart into the fire and I doubled over in agony, clutching at my chest. I could feel my heart in the fire, it felt like the hollow cavity that once held it was filled with molten lead.

The feeling ceased quickly, thank the gods, and I stayed kneeling for a minute as it passed. Hell, that had been nearly as bad as turning in the first place.

When I was able to glance back up, I saw Frigga reaching into the flames. She pulled two chains out of the embers, each one having half of the crimson stone set into them. She had split my heart into two halves.

Well wasn't that just perfect.

"There. It is done." She said looking down at the two necklaces. Both halves of the ruby fit in the palm of her hand.

"Where is this Loki anyway?" I asked my voice a bit scratchy.

"Loki resides in the dungeons." She replied her attention on the flames again.

"That sounds pleasant."

She ignored me and the flames suddenly burned a bright blue and a vague shape took form over them. I turned completely into shadow and crept closer, trying to make out the figure above the fire.

Right as it materialized, Frigga and I were suddenly in a small white room with gold barriers on two sides and a few pieces of furniture on the white tiled floor.

Surprised, I instinctively darted under the nearest object, which happened to be a table.

I peered cautiously out from my hiding place to glance up at Loki for the first time.

 


	3. Chapter 3

He was very tall and slender, dressed in an emerald green tunic under a long leather vest and black leather pants. He had onyx black hair, darker than the depths of the cosmos that reached his shoulders and alabaster skin. He had a sharp, angular face with bright emerald eyes that were currently fixed on Frigga.

She was smiling up at him, and though he didn't return it, his face wasn't unkind.

"Hello Loki." She said softly.

"Hello Mother." He replied in a deep rumble of a voice.

She asked him how he fared and inquired about one of the books she had given him and after that I lost interest.

I explored the tiny room, ducking under the few pieces of furniture so that Loki wouldn't see me. It was obvious that he had been in here for quite a while; a small collection of well read books occupied one corner of the cell and a few were stacked on a small table next to a glass bottle. There were two dark green armchairs and a large bed. Gods I was going to get stir crazy in here.

From under the bed I noticed Frigga give Loki one half of my heart and my shapeless form twitched in annoyance.

"This will help protect you Loki." Frigga said softly. "Keep it with you."

He glanced up from the crimson jewel in his palm to Frigga's face.

"The Heart of Verbannen?" Loki questioned. "A bit late to seek the help of the ancients, is it not?"

I sniggered quietly and Frigga smiled.                              

"I must go for now Loki, but I will return as soon as I am able." Frigga said with a sad smile as she laid a hand gently on his cheek. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye." He replied as Frigga disappeared in shimmering green light.

Loki stared at the place she had been for a moment and I observed him from my hiding place, not knowing if I should speak to him or if I could get away with pretending that I wasn't there.

He turned his back to the magic barrier and faced the room, his emerald eyes scanning over every piece of furniture. His eyes passed over me without pause and I shivered slightly. It seemed that he didn't know I was there.

He sauntered across the room to the table and plucked a red leather-bound book from it and began to read as he walked over to the golden barrier and sat down next to it. So he either didn't realize that I was here, or he didn't care.

I could live with that.

I grew tired of watching him read fairly quickly. I stretched out under the bed and made myself relatively comfortable. I desired to sleep, though I didn't think it wise to allow my guard to drop on a hostile planet. And yet it didn't seem as though I was in any immediate danger here; I would awaken if the Asgardian did so much as shifted position.

Against my better judgment, I did allow myself to drift off into slumber. I didn't dream, which wasn't unusual; I hadn't for at least a thousand years. I was above such things.

When I awoke, Loki had indeed moved, and with a start, I realized that he was sitting on the floor next to the bed I was under, looking down at me curiously.

I gave a startled sort of yelp and recoiled, banging my head on the wood of the bed. I swore furiously and returned to my shadowy state and rushed to the opposite end of the cell to take refuge under a table. I had turned solid in my sleep? I never fucking did that!

Loki rose and walked slowly over to the table I was under and I glared angrily up at him. Stupid Asgardian watching me in my sleep. What the hell.

"How did you get in here?" He asked finally, looking down at my shadowy form that was jerking angrily.

"Frigga." I said gruffly.

"So you are Verbannen?" He asked, a smirk forming on his lips. "My, the legends do no justice to your terrible might."

I shot out from under the table and willed my body to become somewhat solid, drawing myself up to his height as I did, a sneer on my lips.

His smirk faded a bit and he looked me over. Gods I wanted to knock his teeth out.

"Why are you here?" He inquired, not stepping back even though I was only inches from his face.

"Why do you think I am here?" I growled.

"Well, I would say to kill me, but surely you would have attempted to do so rather than fall asleep under my bed."

I rolled my eyes and scowled.

"Queen Frigga summoned me here to serve as a protector for you." I drawled. "And might I add that I have no say in the matter."

His eyes narrowed. "So you really are Verbannen then? Doomed to serve Frigga until you die due to a careless mistake?"

"You're one to comment on careless mistakes." I retorted hotly. "And would you stop saying my name? It irritates me to no end."

I shrank back down to my preferred size and stalked across the room to plop down in the green velvet arm chair.

"Ah yes." He said walking to the bed and sitting down. "You cannot remember your name, can you?"

The question was rhetorical, so I kicked my feet over one of the arms and leaned back to stare up at the ceiling.

"This ruby…" Loki mused, looking down at the blood red gem in his pale hand. "It is your heart?"

I glanced over at him and back up to the ceiling. "Half of it."

"My mother must think me an idiot to put you in here and expect us to not escape." He said, dangling my heart from its chain.

"She gave me strict orders. I cannot help you bring harm to any here or on Midgard and I am forbidden to aid in your escape. And be  _careful_  with that you ass."

He smirked. "Can  _you_  leave this cell?"

I frowned. "I have not tried."

"Try." He urged.

My lip twitched, but I melted into smoke and began poking around the edges of the barrier. I tried to disappear and reappear on the other side of the barrier, but I found that I could not. I gave up and returned to the armchair.

Loki frowned.

"I did not expect to find myself with a cellmate." He commented, opening his hand and willing the red book to fly into it.

"I didn't expect to kill the king of Asgard, but hey, crazy things happen." I replied, squinting at the cover of his book.

Loki smirked and I glanced up at him.

"Are you this insolent to my mother?"

"No. Well, a bit less. She has earned my respect, something that you never will."

The humor left Loki's face and I almost regretted having said that. He could punish me after all, a little fact that I hoped he wouldn't become aware of.

He didn't reply though, and turned his attention to his book.

Hours passed and Loki didn't move. I returned to my shadowy state and spent most of my time brooding under the bed.

Eventually I got bored and wandered over to the pile of books. I plopped down onto the floor and tilted my head to the side to read the spines of the books when I noticed something odd.

One of the spines of the books was in a language that I couldn't understand. I grabbed the light brown book from the pile and stared at the cover. The black scrawling on it meant nothing to me.

Agitated, I flipped through the yellowed pages of the volume, desperately trying to make sense of it. I spoke Alltongue, why could I not read this?

I put the book down on a small table nearby and scanned over the titles of the rest of the books. With a start, I realized that the books that I couldn't read outnumbered those that I could.

I snatched up another, one of black leather with white lettering, hoping that maybe it was just one language that I couldn't make out. But as I skimmed through it, I discovered that the writing in this book was different than the first one, and I still couldn't make sense of it.

I repeated this with every book in the small collection and learned that this was true for nearly all of them. I could only read the three that were in Elvish and one that was in Midgardian.

"What is it?" Loki asked, no longer giving his attention to his book.

"I can't… read any of these." I said gesturing to the large stack of books on the table. "I should be able to, I don't understand."

Loki rose and walked slowly over to the table and picked one of the books up, the brown one that I had originally found conflict with.

He glanced at me strangely over the leather cover of it.

"What?" I asked sharply.

"Vey, this is in Asgardian." He said quietly.

I straightened up and stared hard down at it. I had forgotten how to read my own language.

Realizing that I was blatantly showing my emotions, I smirked and sauntered back to the armchair.

"I suppose I've become so un-Asgardian that I no longer know my own language in print." I mused, a look of false amusement plastered on my face.

Loki placed the book on the table and crossed his arms, observing me.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "What?"

"You turn vaguely solid sometimes. I realized just now that it's when you're feeling more like an Asgardian than a soulless creature of darkness."

I rolled my eyes and scowled. "Meaning?"

"When you allow yourself to feel emotion, you get closer to what you used to be."

I stared at him in poorly disguised anger and surprise.

This Asgardian had been near me for, what, six hours? It had taken me at least a thousand years to notice that pattern. What the actual hell.

I vanished, turning into an aggravated shadow and hid under the bed. I didn't feel like talking to him anymore.

I saw Loki's feet walk back over to the barrier. He sat down and began reading the tan book, likely just to annoy me.

I scooted back farther under the bed so he couldn't see me and retreated into my mind.

Damn Asgardian trying to get inside my head. I wouldn't let him. He could go fuck himself.

When I was an Asgardian, I had the bad habit of going to sleep when I was upset, a habit that had followed me when I changed into… whatever I was now.

I fell asleep under the bed again and when I awoke, the cell was dark except for the soft glow the barrier cast over the room. I had turned semisolid in my sleep again, but I didn't care enough to change it back just yet and I disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the cell.

I glanced around and saw Loki lying on the bed. He seemed to be asleep; his eyes were closed and he lay on his back, one arm dangling over the side of the bed and the other resting on his chest.

I sighed softly and sat down in front of the barrier, staring out into the hall where a fire burned in a grate. I missed traveling. Maybe I'd still be able to leave and Loki could just summon me when he had use of me. I highly doubted it though.

I leaned my forehead on the barrier which felt cool, similar to glass, and stared down at my legs. I was almost completely solid; it even looked like I had skin, even though it was pitch black. It suddenly occurred to me that I might look naked if I got near solid, so I willed black shadow to wrap around my shadowy skin that took form in black pants and a shirt. I didn't care what it looked like, just so long as I wasn't nude. I was almost curious enough about my appearance to conjure up a mirror to check, but I was likely so repugnant that I would be better off not knowing.

Although… Loki didn't recoil at the sight of me, even when he first saw me. He was likely the first being in eons that didn't. Even Frigga was inwardly repulsed by me.

Loki sighed in his sleep and shifted position, the wood of the bed creaking under his weight. He was lucky to have a mother that loved him so dearly; as I recalled, my mother disowned me without hesitation and burned every picture of me, even going as far as to have a sorcerer put a charm on her memory and every one of my sisters so that they would forget me.

Gods I hated myself.

I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind of my previous life as the hours slipped by. Loki shifted around a few more times and mumbled once or twice in the night and by the time I heard him get up and I opened my eyes, the lights were back on.

I immediately closed my eyes and pretended that they weren't.

"Are you alright?" Loki asked from behind me. "You haven't moved in hours."

"Fine." I mumbled, my forehead still pressed against the barrier.

Loki didn't reply and silence settled over the room.

"Vey." I muttered.

"What?"

"Vey." I repeated, standing up and turning around to look at him, my eyes narrowed. "You called me that yesterday."

He raised one black eyebrow. "I did."

"Why?"

"Well you can't hear your actual name and Vey sounds better than Ver. I have to call you something."

I looked at him strangely. Why was he bothering to call me anything at all? Why did he care if saying my name irked me? No one else did.

"Which books are you able to read?" Loki asked after a few minutes, his nose buried in one of them.

I walked over to the pile and pulled out the two elvish volumes and the one Midgardian from it.

"I can only read four of them." I mumbled, glaring hatefully down at the books piled in my lap as if it were their faults that I couldn't read the rest of them.

"The Elvin and the Midgardian." He mused, suddenly kneeling behind me.

"Yeah." I replied, managing not to start at him. Something here was messing with my head; I didn't notice when Loki moved and I nearly always turned solid in my sleep. Maybe Loki was causing it, just to confuse me.

Loki frowned. "It doesn't make much sense that can  _speak_  Asgardian, but you can't  _read_  it."

I shrugged, replacing the books.

"Must be part of the whole 'cursed and banished' thing." I decided.

Loki laughed softly and went back to the chair and his book.

Not seeing much else to do, I plucked the Midgardian volume from the shelf and paced back and forth as I began to read it. The book was interesting enough; it was about different mythologies that the Midgardians believed in.

"Vey." Loki said irritably.

"Huh?" I asked, busy reading about the Gods of the Greeks.

"Stop pacing, it vexes me."

Without looking up, I strode over to the other chair and plopped down.

Hours went by. Guards occasionally passed, giving neither Loki nor myself a second glance. I suspected that he was keeping me hidden from them, but I wasn't sure.

I grew bored of being still and turned into a shadow and darted around between the pieces of furniture. I was doing it to irritate Loki, if I was to be honest with myself. I didn't get a rise out him though, so I settled under the bed to sulk in silence.

I didn't fall asleep, but I sank into a sort of stupor where I was absorbed with myself and I didn't notice anything else. Man, I would literally kill for a chance to get out of here, even just for five minutes. I was starting to get hungry, and I couldn't exactly eat Loki. Or at least I didn't think so. It probably wasn't a good idea to try.

A guard came and set a tray of food on a table about what I supposed was noon. Loki willed one of the red things on it into his hand without getting up and I observed the rest curiously. I had no idea what any of it was; it had been a really long since I had eaten anything besides flesh.

I turned solid enough to touch things and reached for the other red thing like Loki had, but I hesitated and glanced at him for permission.

"Eat as much as you like." Loki said, waving his hand without looking up from the book.

I picked up the red thing and sniffed it curiously. It smelled sweet and vaguely familiar, like a memory just out of my reach. I tentatively took a bite of it. It was sweet and juicy as I expected and I chewed it thoughtfully.

I scowled and put it back down on the table.

Loki smirked at the expression on my face and I shook my head.

"Do you not like it?" He asked.

"Nope." I grimaced. "Not at all."

"What do you usually eat?"

"Depends on the inhabitants of the closest planet." I replied with a nasty smile. "Midgardians mostly."

He narrowed his eyes and frowned. "You eat… people?"

"Yep."

"Seems like an awful lot of trouble."

I shrugged. "They're tasty."

He closed his book and sat up to observe me.

"What other beings have you… eaten?" He asked.

"Hm." I pondered. "Dark Elves, Light Elves, Fairies, Dwarves, Demons, one troll, (though I'll never try that again- tasted awful) and a few Jotuns; the Asgardians are the only ones that I haven't."

He contemplated me, his brow furrowed.

"You've eaten Jotuns?"

"I said demons and you're stuck on frost giants?"

He was quiet, frowning at the floor in thought.

"I don't really need to  _eat_  them either." I added. "I drain their life force. I can make a very clean job of it, though I choose not to. I like the way blood looks."

"I've never been fond of the color red." He mused.

"Why?"

"I do not know."

"Speaking of red; what was that?" I asked, jerking my head to the red thing with a large bite taken out which exposed the yellow inside of it.

"It's a fruit, an apple to be more specific."

"It's too sweet."

"Try the light brown thing, its called bread." He offered, nodding to the table.

Pretending that it wasn't an order for me to, I picked the bread up and took a bite. It was much different than the apple; it was warm and soft on the inside.

"I like it." I said, tearing off a bit of it.

"You can have it, I'm not hungry." He said, taking another bite of the apple.

I ate all of the bread and returned to my book.

Queen Frigga visited Loki again sometime in the evening and brought him a couple more books, none of which were in a language I could read.

A guard brought more food and Loki ate half of it, insisting that he didn't want the other half, but I wasn't thick. I was secretly a bit pleased that he was being kind to me, although it made me suspicious.

The lights went off again, and I was thankful for it; the brightness made my head ache. I couldn't read in the dark though, so I put the book down and looked around the now- familiar cell.

Loki was lying on the bed, his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. I didn't think that he honestly went to sleep; I sure as hell wouldn't if I was trapped in a room with something that had killed my grandfather.

Again and again, I found my thoughts drifting back to him, the imprisoned prince.

The more time I spent around him, the more I felt like he wasn't quite like the other Asgardians. For one; he was always cold. I could sense the body heat that rolled of the guards that passed by or Frigga when I was near her, but Loki didn't give off any warmth at all.

I glanced over at him, a very dangerous idea forming in my head.

Loki appeared to be asleep; his heart rate slow, his mouth slightly open letting out quiet snores, his eyes flickering behind their lids.

Silently, I crept over to the table and purposely bumped it, sending one of the books on it toppling to the floor with a thud.

Loki didn't stir.

I stared at him, biting the inside of my nearly-solid mouth. He really did seem to be asleep, and if he was faking, he was doing it very convincingly…

I morphed into shadow and moved over to the bed with his sleeping form upon it. Careful not to so much as stir a hair on his pitch black head, I moved to hover above him, so close that my shadowy body nearly brushed his pale skin. Even this close I couldn't feel any heat radiating off of him. I turned somewhat solid and reached a cautious hand out toward his face. If only I could touch his skin…

Loki's emerald eyes suddenly snapped open and before I could react, his hands shot out and grabbed my shoulders and he had me pinned to the bed, his weight on top of me and his hands gripping both my wrists.

I fully expected him to shout at me, but in a calm, measured voice, he asked "Verbannen what do you think you are doing?"

"I – I – uh." I stammered, feeling my body solidifying more beneath the weight of his hips pressing into mine. Dammit, I just couldn't catch a break could I?!

"Tell me." He demanded, lowering his face so that it was inches from mine.

"I wanted to touch your skin." I heard my voice say. "You're colder than the others; I thought I was imagining it and I wanted to be sure."

Loki glowered down at me and midst all my embarrassment; I noticed that the skin of his hands on my wrist was, in fact, much cooler than it should have been.

He released my wrists and sat up, still on top of me.

"You desired to touch my skin?" He mused, smirking down at me. "Very well then. Touch it."

My stomach lurched unpleasantly and my hands shot out to his bare arms and began running my fingers over his skin.

His skin was definitely cool, but I mostly forgot about that as my fingers pressed into the velvet skin of his forearms.

I didn't expect him to be so muscled; he looked thin, but the muscles under his alabaster skin were defined and… beautiful. I watched my hands move up to his shoulders; my pitch black skin a stark contrast to his. My fingers traced under the material of his shirt, and half of me had the urge to rip it off and drag my teeth over his perfect skin while the other half was appalled that I was showing so much blatant hunger for another being, particularly an  _Asgardian._

"My my Vey…" He practically purred, drawing my attention back up to his angular face. "You really do have to do  _everything_  I say…"

The sedated expression fell from his face as he seemed to register something, and in an instant he was no longer under my fingertips and his weight was gone from me.

I sat up, glancing around in confusion, and I saw him standing in front of the barrier, his silhouette tall and angry, his fists clenched at his sides. I tilted my head to the side in puzzlement; had I done something wrong?

I rose from the bed, staring uncertainly at the back of his head.

"Vey." Loki said softly.

"Yeah?"

"If I ever make… unwanted advances upon you, I want you to defend yourself from me."

I blinked. I didn't know what I had expected, but it hadn't been that.

"Understand?" He asked, his fists trembling at his sides.

"…Yes. I understand." I replied quietly.

He nodded and after a minute he sat down and was still.

I stared at the back of his head, without really seeing it, completely bewildered. He had realized that he had complete control over me and instead of taking advantage of it like I had expected, he had given up total power over me and was silently repulsed at what he could have done.

I turned back into smoke and took shelter under the bed and rolled over to stare at the wall. Loki didn't return to bed and sat utterly still as if he was made of stone all night and I was left to my own thoughts.

I was right; he was very unlike the other Asgardians.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Morning came and the lights were flipped back on. A tray of food was brought and still neither Loki nor I moved. I was staring at the wall, brooding as usual, when I had the feeling that something was… off.

I rolled over, having materialized mostly again, and was startled to see that the cell was empty.

I jumped up, ramming my head on the bed and flipping it completely over. I stood, rubbing my head and swearing profusely and whirled around the room. Loki definitely wasn't here. How in the hell could he have gotten out?! And more importantly, why'd he leave me?

My eyes still darting around suspiciously, I crept slowly up to the barrier and glanced out. The guards didn't seem to be searching frantically for him and the other prisoners didn't seem bothered like there had been an escape.

I heard something scrape across the floor behind me and I whipped around. A large opaque rectangle was hovering in the middle of the room, its glossy surface writhing as if it contained pale white smoke.

Perplexed, I approached the glass slowly, my head tilted to the side curiously. I stood before the glass, and the painful desire to pass through it and disappear into the white fog suddenly gripped me. As my black fingers brushed the glass, the white mist abruptly vanished to reveal a truly horrifying sight.

There, staring out of the mirror at me with white, blank eyes was… me.

Seeing my reflection was enough of a shock to turn me completely solid for the first time in eons which only added to my disgust.

My new skin was entirely black, darker than soot and moonless night and the empty void of space. My eyes had no irises or pupils, and along with my sharp white hair, made a harsh contrast against my inky skin. Ram-like horns the color of my skin grew backward from my temples and my once fair face was contorted into an expression of horrified revulsion. Even the inside of my mouth was black and my teeth were acutely sharp. My feet were bare and black cloth the same color of my skin covered my legs and my chest in an x.

No longer able to bear the impish wretch of my reflection staring at me in aversion, I gasped and collapsed onto the floor at the foot of the mirror, burying my face in my hands and letting out a strangled cry.

My very worst fear had been realized; I was truly a monster and now I knew just how horrid.

Footsteps rushed up to me and I felt a hand roughly shake my shoulder. Startled, I looked up and saw Loki's alarmed face as he knelt in front of me where the mirror had just been.

"L- Loki." I exclaimed, feeling dangerously close to tears. "Why- why did you- ?"

"I- I didn't make you look into the mirror; you approached it of your own will." He interrupted in defense.

"How… _cruel_ … you must be to force a mirror upon a creature as utterly repulsive as I!" I shouted, completely breaking down and starting to cry uncontrollably into my arms.

Loki gaped down at me, at a complete loss for words and looking more uncomfortable by the second.

"Ver- Vey I didn't mean to…" He stammered, staring down at me in dismay. "I wanted to see how you'd react, I…"

I glanced up at him; hot, idiotic tears running down my face. I shoved him weakly, but he didn't so much as budge and I stood up jerkily and stumbled over to the nearest corner and collapsed into it and cried into my arms. Loki didn't move and simply stared at me as I tried to calm myself down and only succeeded in making myself cry harder.

So this is what I looked like, I thought bitterly. There was no mystery as to why men flinched at the sight of me and averted their eyes; I was utterly repugnant.

I felt something brush my side and peeked out between a gap in my arms to see Loki sitting beside me.

"Piss off." I snapped, my voice cracking. "Don't look at me."

I buried my face deeper into my arms and shook with fresh sobs and felt Loki shift next to me.

I was acting like a damn child but I couldn't help it. It was like three thousand years of pain and hatred were washing over me, threatening to drown me.

"We are more alike than I previously thought Vey." Loki said quietly.

"We're nothing alike." I managed, sobs still raking my body. I lifted my head just enough to peer out at Loki and what I saw was enough of a surprise to stop my crying.

Loki's pale skin had turned dark blue with darker markings covering his face, and his eyes were the color of blood.

I stared at him and he gave me a small smile, his eyes unusually soft.

"You… you're Jotun?" I asked, wiping at my eyes. "How?"

"That is a very long story." He replied softly.

I sniffed. "It isn't like I'm busy."

He smiled. "Very well then."

And so Loki told me how Odin had taken him from Jotunheim when the last Great War ended, thinking he might one day have use of him. Odin then raised Loki telling him that he was born to be a king and never bothered to tell Loki his true heritage. When Loki inevitably discovered who he really was, Odin went to sleep instead of helping him and giving him the assurance that he meant well or even cared. With the Bifrost in ruins, he and Thor dangled off of it and Loki fell into a worm hole which took him very far from Asgard. Before he fell, he begged Odin to understand that he only meant to be Thor's equal, and as much as he had done, he had good intentions, skewed as they were. But Odin refused and allowed Loki to plummet into deep space where Loki's story ended. I could tell that that wasn't all that had happened to him, but I didn't push the subject.

I was silent when Loki finished his story, a fire growing in my belly. How could Odin do that? How cruel and idiotic could he possibly be?

"That's… good gods." I managed at last. "Odin's a one-eyed shithead."

Loki snorted and laughed, genuinely, for the first time around me.

His unexpected laughter set me off and we both let our childish laughter go unsuppressed. My giggles were the last thing to subside and Loki grinned at me.

"I'm so sorry Loki." I sighed, leaning my head onto his shoulder.

"Me too, but there's nothing to be done about it." He rumbled. "If it's any consolation to you, I believe that you're one of the most fetching creatures that I have ever had the pleasure to lay eyes on."

My stomach lurched unpleasantly and I looked up at him in surprise.

"How could you possibly?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Beauty comes in many forms Vey." He replied. "I see it in the grace in which you move and the lithe form of your shadow like body and the silent power of your presence."

I blinked. Never, even when I was an Asgardian did I ever think that any being would say such things to me.

"I think that is the highest compliment I have ever, or will ever receive." I said, for once thankful that my skin was too black to show evidence of it burning.

"Really? I'm sure I can come up with better than that."

I laughed and he smirked down at me.

A guard appeared then, bringing in the usual platter of fruit, bread, and meat. Loki let me eat all of the meat and he ate everything else and returned to his book. I however felt entirely too antsy to read; besides I had read two of the four and the other two dusty elvish volumes held nothing that interested me.

"How have you not lost your head?" I asked, getting up from the floor and flopping onto the bed.

"I have no problem with sitting in silence and reading." He replied without looking up from the pages of his book.

I puffed out air at the ceiling. "I do."

He didn't reply so I stared boredly up at the white ceiling of the cell.

My mind wandered off and I began imagining shapes on the ceiling. I willed black mist to rise up from my fingertips to swirl in the air above me like a tiny galaxy. I wished more than anything to be free of this cell; it didn't even have a window. More inky smoke rose up from my skin to drift near the ceiling and soon it almost looked as if there wasn't a ceiling at all and that the cell opened up to the starry sky somewhere far above us.

Loki set his book down and stared up at the fake sky and smiled.

"That's lovely Vey." He commented.

"Thanks." I said, crossing my arms and staring up at the stars longingly.

"You miss having the freedom to go where you like." Loki remarked, stating rather than asking.

"You have no idea." I mumbled.

Loki seemed to fall back into his own thoughts and began reading again.

I let the illusion fade and the bright lights stung my eyes again. I scowled and zipped under the bed, which was the least light place in the cell. I could usually stand the lights, but today I was especially sensitive to them for some reason.

I slept on and off under the bed, morphing between shadow-like and solid in my sleep.

Around what I supposed was evening, I woke up to notice that the cell was significantly dimmer than when I had fallen asleep and Loki was lying on top of the bed.

I teleported into the center of the room.

"Did you make it darker in here?" I asked Loki.

"Hm?" Loki asked his nose buried in a different book. "No, I didn't. The lights must be malfunctioning."

I smirked, knowing full well that the lights were working perfectly fine.

I wandered over to the other side of the cell and flopped down onto the floor. I produced a dagger made out of shadow and began tossing it up into the air and catching it.

This seemed to vex Loki for some reason and he stopped reading and peered at me over the cover of his book in irritation.

"Vey what happens if you don't catch that?" He asked his emerald eyes fixed on the dagger as it fell back down to me.

"This." I replied, snatching the dagger out of the air and plunging it into my chest. Loki jumped, but the dagger passed through my smoky body and stuck into the floor beneath me.

"I'm not solid remember?" I said, smirking at the startled look on Loki's face that had vanished in an instant. "I can't be harmed when I'm like this."

He still frowned at me.

"What?"

Loki simply rolled his eyes and went back to his book.

I made a face at him, which he ignored, but I didn't throw the dagger up again and allowed it to melt into shadow.

An hour or so passed and I became restless again.

I turned completely into shadow and darted under the bed. Loki didn't move. Silently, I peered over the foot of the bed up at him. I couldn't see his face past the sienna leather of the book he was reading. Still being careful that I made no sound, I crept over the foot of the bed, turning mostly solid as I did. He still didn't react as I moved so close to his book that my nose nearly brushed it.

Slightly annoyed now, I flopped down onto his stomach to get his attention. Loki still showed no signs of acknowledgement of me, and at this point, was just ignoring me. I put my chin on his chest and touched the book with my nose.

Nothing.

I nudged the book up and poked my head under it, fully aware of the nuisance I was being and not caring in the slightest. Loki finished the line of text he was on and finally looked down at me, a small smile underneath the annoyance on his face.

"Yes Vey?" He asked his emerald eyes fixed on mine.

"I'm bored." I replied simply.

"Really? I had no idea."

I scoffed teasingly.

"Well what would you have me do about it?"

"I dunno." I sighed, burying my face in his chest.

Loki chuckled softly and the sound rumbled deeply in his chest. I was fairly content lying on top of him, so I didn't intend to get up unless he made me. I shifted to rest my ear on his chest and his rhythmic breathing lulled me into a sort of stupor and when I came out of it, the room was dark.

"Vey?" Loki asked, startling me slightly because I had believed him to be asleep.

"Hm?" I mumbled.

"I will get you out of here." He said, all of the usual aloofness gone from his voice. "I know not how, but I swear that I will. You don't deserve to be trapped in here with me."

I lifted my head and looked at him in surprise.

"Maybe I kind of like being stuck in here with you." I replied quietly.

I could just make out his pale face as he smiled somewhat up at the ceiling.

"I'm a poison Vey." He said softly. "A monster."

"Well so am I." I retorted. "It wouldn't be too horrible to be monsters together, would it?"

"…I suppose not." He mused quietly.

Still reluctant to get up, I rested my ear on his chest again and closed my eyes. I could hear his heart thumping softly in his chest and the sound comforted me.

I believed that Loki was the first creature that I didn't crave the blood and death of since I turned and certainly the first that I didn't loathe the sight of. I wasn't fond of him, but I didn't hate him which was probably the closest I was able to feel to affection. That was alright with me for now.


	5. Chapter 5

Hours passed and I didn't move or fall asleep. I could hear the occasional scraping of an unseen boot against the tiled floor of an adjacent cell, but other than that there was just silence and Loki.

Loki moved under me in his sleep a few times, shifting position slightly and rearranging his arms. He ended up resting both of his large hands on my back, which I didn't mind but was acutely aware of none the less.

Morning came by the harsh lights being flipped on. Loki groaned and flicked his wrist irritably, making the lights dim significantly.

He inhaled deeply, causing me to rise a few inches, and sighed.

I lifted my head to rest my chin on his chest and looked up at him.

"Good morning Loki." I said with a smirk.

"Good morning." He replied, stretching beneath me.

I got up and walked around the perimeter of the cell to stretch my legs.

The usual morning tray of food was brought in and placed on the table and Loki and I shared it while sitting in the chairs and chatting about our excursions to Midgard.

Frigga visited about noon, appearing suddenly in a shimmer of green light.

I retreated under the bed, wishing to give them some privacy and I was doing a fairly good job of it until Loki shouted, drawing my attention back to them.

"He's not my father!" He roared in an unusual outburst of anger.

"Then am I not your mother?" Frigga asked, unfazed.        

Loki contemplated this for a moment, his rage fading as he looked down at his mother.

"You're not." He said finally.

Frigga gave a small laugh and smiled sadly up at him.

"Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself." She said softly.

She held out her hands and Loki tried to hold them, but his hands passed through hers and she shimmered as her form slowly disappeared, leaving Loki staring blankly at the empty space where she had just stood.

I appeared behind him; wanting to comfort him but not knowing how to. I brushed my hand against his and he seemed to come out of his mind and his hurt expression fell from his face and he looked down at me, giving me a smirk and taking my hand a moment before letting it go and returning to the armchair and putting his feet up on the stool.

I flopped down onto the floor and kicked my feet up over his and I made another dagger out of shadow and threw it at the ceiling where it stuck with a thunk. I continued creating daggers and throwing them in the ceiling. I knew it was irritating Loki, but I was just so  _bored._  I got seventeen knives in the ceiling before they all fell at once but as they hit the floor they dissolved back into smoke with quiet thumps. I caught the last one with my right foot, but it slipped out of my toes and the hilt smacked me in the face.

Loki politely pretended that he hadn't seen this and didn't look up from his book.

Hours passed and I stared blankly at the ceiling.

Gods I was so bored. Maybe Loki would fight me to pass the time.

"Hey Loki." I said, nudging his leg with my foot.

"Yes?"

"Fight me."

He lowered his book to look down at me uncertainly.

"I'm sorry?"

"Fight me." I repeated, jumping to my feet and crossing my arms. "I'm bored."

Loki's eyebrows rose a bit and he looked up at me in irritation.

"I will not fight you Vey. Isn't it a bit primitive to brawl to pass the time?"

"Come on; what's the worst that could happen?"

"I could break you in half."

"That's adorable. You just don't want to lose."

His eyes narrowed and I smirked inwardly, knowing I had him.

"You are challenging me then?" He asked slowly.

"Absolutely."

He sighed and set his book down on the stool and stood up.

"Very well." He said, looking me over like he was already thinking up the best tactical way to take me down.

Loki disappeared suddenly and I felt his large hands seize my arms from behind. I melted into smoke and he stumbled through me.

I grabbed one of his ankles and yanked his foot out from under him, bringing him crashing to the floor and I pounced on top of him.

I pinned his wrists to the floor and smiled sweetly down at him and he smirked back up at me. I felt hands roughly grab my waist and I was lifted off of Loki. His double wrapped his arms around me and the real Loki stood up and smirked broadly down at me.

"Cheater." I sneered playfully.

"You never specified that magic was not to be used." He said smirking back, eyeing me over as if he was contemplating what to do with me.

I stuck my tongue out at him and stomped on the foot of the double and as he gasped and his grip loosened, I grabbed his arm and threw him over my shoulder into the ground.

I disappeared and reappeared behind the real Loki and threw myself onto him, but he was too quick for me and grabbed me as I fell and shoved me onto the ground.

"I will accept your surrender you know." He said, smirking down at me and leaning teasingly close to my face.

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my legs around him and flipped him onto his back and sat on his hips.

"Never." I grinned down at him.

I could sense another double behind me so I vanished just as he moved to grab me and the clone stumbled and fell on top of the real Loki with a clumsy thump.

I couldn't help giggling at the sight of Loki trying to push off his double whom had fallen between his legs, but my giggles were cut off by another Loki who grabbed my waist and threw me across the room to land safely on the bed.

"Oh come on. Only two clones?" I smirked. Loki was being gentle with me and he was definitely going easy on me, but at least I wasn't bored anymore.

In answer, Loki willed five more copies into existence, making me lose track of the real one.

"You could at least  _try_  to make this difficult." I said silkily, trying to provoke him.

All eight of them smirked and their number doubled so that there was no more room in the cell for another being to stand, so three of them jumped onto the bed around me and one tripped over one of the armchairs and knocked it over and swore.

I pounced on the nearest Loki and threw him into another one and they all converged on me at once.

I was thoroughly enjoying myself, as I knocked one Loki down and two more took his place, this was a hundred times better than reading or sleeping. In fact, it was likely the most fun I had had in a thousand years. At one point Loki had me pinned down to the bed and was tickling my sides, making me giggle and squeal uncontrollably, thrashing around under him and kicking him. I managed to throw him off, but I couldn't pin him down and get my revenge because of all the clones. Once as I was throwing the Lokies all over the place one slammed into the barrier and was still at the bottom of it. Worried that I had hurt him, I darted over to where he lay and leaned over him. He grabbed me and pulled me on top of him and the other Lokies all piled on top of us, resulting in several noses being elbowed, several bites being exchanged, and several butts being grabbed.

Eventually, the onslaught of innumerable Lokies was too much and I allowed myself to be captured and pinned against the wall by two of them.

One, I assumed the real one, sauntered up to me and smirked triumphantly down at me.

"Well Vey, it looks as if you have been defeated." He said standing mere inches from my face.

"Looks can be deceiving." I said, acutely aware of his cool breath brushing against my skin.

"Not in this instance, I think." He said slowly, a strange glint in his eyes. He was trying to intimidate me, I realized, something that was never going to happen. He stared down into my eyes, his like bright green fire, and there was the urge to touch him again. I tried to suppress it though and I stared back without blinking.

On an impulse, I stretched out and pecked him on the tip of his nose, trying to mess up his demeanor.

It worked and his menacing disposition shattered and was replaced with one of surprise and I felt the two clones release my wrists.

I grinned up at him and he looked down at me strangely as the clones all vanished in shimmers of green light.

"What? Have you never been kissed before?" I asked teasingly.

"Not in combat, no." He replied.

"Well where's the fun in that?" I laughed.

He chuckled softly and stared down at me a moment longer before turning around and picking up the fallen chair and sitting down in it.

"I believe that I won for the record." He said smirking at me.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "Please."

I walked over to him and sat down in front of him and leaned against his leg, resting my head on his knee. He had another book in his hand and was reading again, but I didn't mind so much. I wouldn't admit it to Loki, but I was just a bit exhausted from wrestling with him even though neither of us meant it.

Loki began absentmindedly playing with my hair and it was all I could do not to purr in contentment. He rubbed behind my horns and my eyes drifted half way closed in pleasure. Being touched wasn't so bad after all; I had completely forgotten what it was like.

I was lulled to sleep by Loki's long fingers running through my short hair, and when I woke up, the lights were off and I was in bed next to Loki who was snoring softly, lying on his back with one arm under my head. I scooted closer to him and closed my eyes and drifted back off into a deep and peaceful sleep, happy to be where I was.


	6. Chapter 6

When I woke up in the morning, I did so begrudgingly, wishing to go back to sleep.

I sighed deeply and stretched a bit.

"Good morning Vey." Loki rumbled, his face sounding very close to mine.

I opened my eyes and realized that my face was buried in the curve of Loki's neck and my arms and legs were tangled together with his and I was mostly lying on top of him.

I smiled against the skin of his neck; I was likely the only being in the Nine that could get away with this.

"Good morning." I yawned, stretching luxuriously.

"You talk a good bit in your sleep you know." He remarked as I slid off of him so he could get up.

"Really?" I frowned. "What do I say?"

"Well last night you were talking about someone named Guinevere."

Surprised, I sat up and stared down at him. I had been dreaming about Gwen?

"May I inquire as to whom that is?" He asked gently, sitting up in the bed.

I blinked. "She was one of my sisters. I was the closest to her out of the eleven others."

"You had twelve sisters?"

"Yeah. I was the youngest. There was Katherine, Alice, Theodora, Tabitha, Verin, Evanora, Fera, Guinevere, and Flora, Luciana, Alanis, Anais, and myself."

He blinked and I wanted to kick myself. I had tried for thousands of years to forget them, to erase every memory of them, but I could still see each one of my sister's disgusted faces clearly in my mind's eye.

"That must have been tiresome to be the youngest of thirteen." He commented.

"I suppose. I don't really remember." I lied casually. It had been incredibly irritating and Gwen was the only one that took notice of me and was definitely the only one that liked me.

I realized that I was glaring intensely at the floor and Loki was watching me.

"You do not have to tell me anything that you don't wish to, but I would appreciate it if you did not lie." He said lightly.

"Fair enough." I shrugged, getting out of bed and stretching on my toes. "So… do I talk in my sleep often?"

"Every time that you fall asleep." He replied, doing the same.

I scowled up at him as he let out a tiny groan from stretching. "When were you going to tell me that?"

"When it became relevant as it did just now." He replied, a teasing smirk on his face.

"Psh." I scoffed, flicking my wrist and sending shadow rushing over him, thoroughly messing up his perfect raven hair.

I laughed loudly and he retaliated by causing one of my legs to pass into the floor as if it were made of smoke, leaving me sprawled awkwardly on the ground.

"Loki!" I exclaimed, scowling up at him. "Release me!"

"I don't think that I will." He replied as he combed his hair with his fingers. "I think that I prefer you… out of my hair."

"Uuuuugggghhh." I groaned exaggeratedly and flopped onto my back. "Puns Loki? Puns? What did I do to deserve that?"

He chuckled and walked past me, just far enough that I knew I couldn't reach him, and returned to lie down on the bed. I rolled my eyes and Loki began throwing a cup into the air and catching it.

An hour or so passed and Loki still didn't release me. I was just about to open my mouth to demand my immediate release when a noise caught my attention.

I sat up and craned to look out of the barrier and saw the occupants of one of the nearby cells banging on the barrier and shouting, trying to get away from a smoky darkness that was forming in the middle of the cell.

"Loki…" I warned, still craning to see what the darkness was, but Loki had already gotten up and was standing next to me.

Emerald eyes fixed on the cell; he offered me his hand and pulled me up, his hand hesitating on my back. I walked up to the barrier and observed the mass of smoky, ashy, darkness take the form of a large black creature with long horns and tusks. It had to be eight feet tall at least, I thought as the thing attacked its cellmates, killing all of them easily.

The thing grabbed one of the prisoners and began smashing his head into the barrier with increasing force and the barrier seemed to be stretching and weakening.

Guards rushed past us as the thing broke out and attacked the creature, but it took little notice and swatted them away as if they were merely bothersome insects. The thing ambled slowly up to the next cell and the inmates backed away cautiously. The creature lashed out at the barrier, shattering it as easily as if it were thin glass.

The prisoners watched it as it moved onto the next cell and broke open it and they soon recovered from their fear and leapt out and began fighting the other guards.

Chaos broke out as more prisoners and guards clashed and many fell, crimson blood spurting out of their wounds. At the sight of it, I became agitated, an all consuming desire to be free of this cell and spill blood and kill welling up inside of me.

The menacing black creature made its way to our cell and Loki stared at it and stalked up to the barrier next to me, halfway blocking me from the thing as if he wanted it nowhere near me. The creature, which I realized was one of the Kursed born of the Dark Elves, stared down at Loki and Loki stared back. They reminded me of two alpha wolves that were having a standoff before they tore each other's throats out.

The Kursed lifted a club-like hand to break the barrier, but paused. He lowered his hand and shook his head, thinking better than letting Loki go. Loki smiled mischievously. The creature turned to walk away but paused when Loki called after it.

"You might want to take the stairs to the left." He told the creature, his eyes still flashing.

The Kursed turned back to look at Loki, its red eyes blazing out of its ugly face. It turned and followed his directions, ambling quickly down the hall and out of sight.

I let out a short laugh as the Kursed hurried away.

"You've got to have one hell of a glare if the Kursed decides you're too scary to let out." I commented, one of the prisoners bouncing off of the barrier of our cell as he was thrown by a guard.

Loki didn't reply and sat down next to the barrier, and to my surprise, began reading again.

"Seriously Loki?" I asked, bewildered. "There's nothing short of a battle taking place three feet from us and you're reading?"

"What else am I to do?" He replied, not glancing up from his book. "I can't get us out of here and none of them are about to release us."

I huffed, my eyes being pulled back to the riot, the blood lust growing in my core. I needed to get out, I _needed_ to feel blood on my lips and watch the light die in my victims eyes; I _needed_ to. I paced back and forth like a caged animal, hungrily watching the Asgardians and prisoners slaughter each other.

"Vey you know I dislike it when you pace." Loki remarked unconcernedly.

"I can't help it – I wanna tear something apart." I hissed.

Loki waved his hand and a double of him appeared in the middle of the cell.

"Have at him."

I whipped around to stare hungrily at the clone who stared back with an uncaring expression. Well if he insisted…

I rushed at his clone, slamming into him and throwing him across the cell – no longer teasing. He hit the wall and crumpled in a heap at the base of it, thick blood dripping from a gash on his pale face.

I pounced on him hungrily, desiring to completely drain him of the life I craved. He allowed it and didn't struggle as I pinned his arms next to his neck, baring my teeth.

Just as my sharp white teeth were about to sink into his skin, I paused, my ragged breath the only thing touching his neck. I couldn't do it.

I released him and sat up, horror struck at what I almost did.

"What?" The clone asked, looking up at me in confusion.

"I… I can't." I whispered.

The clone frowned. "Why not?"

I scrambled off of him and got up.

The clone vanished and I felt the real Loki's eyes on my back.

"I thought you lusted for blood?" He asked quietly.

"Not yours… as it turns out." I replied, staring at the floor.

I backed slowly away from where the clone had been and spun on my heel to face Loki, who was still sitting near the barrier.

"Sorry about that." I said distantly, watching the fighting outside of our cell, the blood lust gone. "It's the whole killing instinct from thousands of years of doing nothing but…"

I trailed off and he stared up at me.

I shook my head and sat down next to him, but his emerald eyes were still fixed on my face.

I sniffed and observed him back.

"Stop that." I said finally.

"Why? Does it bother you?" He asked, a smirk forming on his lips.

"No." I said, straightening up.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

I turned my head completely in his direction and I narrowed my eyes and he squinted back. I felt myself start to smile against my will.

He grinned at me and I looked away from him and he laughed.

"Shut up." I mumbled.

The ground shook above us and I glanced up to see the lights flickering and a few bits of plaster fall from the ceiling. Loki got up and looked out of the barrier to see the guards rushing out of the dungeons. I appeared next to him and watched the guards run up the steps and out of sight.

"Maybe if the entire city's destroyed we'll be able to escape." I said bitterly.

"Maybe." He said quietly, absentmindedly placing a hand on my back.

I stepped closer to him without really thinking about it, the silence was a lot more worrying to me than the battle was. I didn't care about a single being in the city above us, but if that thing came back for any reason I didn't want it near Loki. Loki was an ass, but nobody was putting as much of a scratch on him while I was breathing. And then there was always the possibility of the ceiling collapsing in on us.

We both stood there, huddled close together in silent anticipation, waiting for what would happen next for several minutes before I spoke.

"I don't like this." I said quietly. "We should make out or something."

Loki laughed and I grinned up at him.

"But really, we should do something, this anticipation is killing me." I said, strutting into the middle of the room and lying down on the floor.

"Oh you weren't serious?" He said, walking over and lying down next to me. "Pity."

I giggled and scooted closer to him.

"How is lying on the floor any better than standing by the barrier?" He asked.

"Pff." I scoffed, rolling my eyes up at the ceiling. "I have literally no idea."

He laughed and got up and walked back to the barrier. I appeared next to him and looked up at him. It was obvious that under the layer of snark he was bothered by the invasion of the Kursed.

"I'm sure it'll be fine you know." I said, leaning against his shoulder.

He turned to face me and put his chin on the top of my head.

"I'm hardly worried." He said as I leaned my face into his chest. "In fact, I'm hoping that it won't be and that the castle will burn to the ground."

"Wouldn't that be lovely?" I agreed.

I was debating on putting a big sloppy kiss on his throat when a searing pain erupted in the small of my back and shot through my body to my chest, as if I had been run through with a sword.

I screamed in agony and collapsed onto the floor of the cell writing; my blood, thick and harshly white, splattering my chest as I gasped for air. I heard Loki shout and felt him pick me up, his hand pressed uselessly against the wound in a futile attempt to stop the blood bubbling up from my black skin. I choked on my last breath and fell still in Loki's arms, his desperate shouts ringing in my ears…


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up a few minutes later, my body having already repaired most of the damage whatever the hell that had been did.

I still felt Loki clinging onto me, shouting hoarsely for help that he knew wouldn't come.

"Loki." I mumbled weakly, putting my hand on his – the one that was pressed into my chest.

"Vey." He breathed, holding me so close that his cool breath touched my skin as he tilted my face up to his. "Vey? Oh gods, what was that, are you alright?"

"I…I have no idea." I said slowly. "I don't know what that was."

"May I pick you up?" He asked, sounding extremely shaken for some reason.

I nodded and he gently lifted me off of the floor and carried me to the bed and laid me down in it and sat next to me, one hand still on my chest.

I smirked weakly up at him.                  

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you looked worried." I said quietly.

He stared down at me and I realized that I could in fact see worry in his bright green eyes, worry and… fear.

"Hey, it's fine. Whatever it was, it's over now." I assured him, placing my hand over his.

"I fear that it isn't over Vey. I fear that it's far from over." He replied anxiety in his eyes as they flickered to the ceiling.

"Loki-" I began, starting to sit up, but stopped abruptly as white hot pain shot through my back.

"No Vey, rest." He said in alarm, coaxing me back down to the pillows. "That's an order. Please."

I scowled, but my eyes had begun to drift closed.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"Sleep now, my little one." He hummed, almost silently, his forehead lightly touching mine. "Can you do that for me?"

I opened my mouth to say that, yes, I could if I chose to, but at that moment, I fell into a deep slumber in which I dreamt of Loki's deep voice screaming hoarsely and the white blade of the dagger that I had used to end my old life…

Harsh yelling startled me awake several hours later and I jumped up in alarm, my eyes darting wildly around the room.

The lights were blindingly bright even though it had to have been night and I blinked rapidly trying to see past them.

"PATHETIC!" An enraged voice shouted. "WORTHLESS! YOU. SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN. THERE.!"

I leapt out of bed, throwing my hands up in an attempt to shield myself from the harsh lights and stumbled blindly, my feet kicking bits of wood and shards of glass that stuck into my bare feet. What the hell was going on?

The light was too much for me and I morphed into shadow and took shelter under the bed and squinted out. I could just make out the bright, blurry, towering shape stalking back and forth at the opposite end of the cell.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE NEXT TO HER, YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS! BUT NO, INSTEAD YOU'RE DOWN HERE _ROTTING_!" The voice continued, rage coloring every syllable.

Who was that, was it Loki? It didn't sound like it.

I strained my eyes enough that the cell came into blurry focus and I saw that Loki was the one yelling, screaming enraged at another figure that was sitting against the wall, their knees tucked close to their chest as if they were trying to protect themselves from Loki's wrath.

Loki lashed out at the other figure and kicked them, sending them sprawling onto the floor and I got a glimpse of who it was; Loki.

I rushed out from under the bed and appeared in front of Loki as he prepared to kick the other one which lay unmoving on the cell floor.

He glared down at me as I blocked him from the other Loki, a rage filled fire blazing in his green eyes. I resisted the urge to step back; Loki looked truly terrifying in his fury.

"Loki that is enough." I said quietly.

"Move Vey." He said, no longer shouting, but still trembling in rage. "He deserves to suffer."

I teleported two feet to the right against my will and Loki planted a heavy kick into the other's chest and the Loki on the floor spat up blood.

"Loki stop!" I shouted, my stomach twisting horribly. "Stop it!"

But he didn't seem like he ever planned on ceasing and I couldn't stand there and watch his clone kick him again so I tackled him and tried to drag him away from the other one but it was useless; he didn't relent in the slightest and continued attacking himself. He didn't seem to notice my arms around his waist or my panicked begging.

Anger surged through me and I willed black chains to shoot from the wall and wrap around his wrists and drag him back from Loki.

"I said that is enough." I hissed, appearing an inch from his face where he was pinned to the wall. He tore his eyes away from the other Loki collapsed on the floor and fixed them on me.

He opened his mouth, likely to demand that I release him, but with a flick of my hand his jaw snapped shut and all he could do was glare hatefully up at me. I got up and rushed to the other Loki who was still lying on the floor.

"Loki?" I asked, panic making my voice squeak as I dropped to my knees and shook his shoulder. "Loki?!"

He stirred weakly and I sighed in relief.

"Thank the gods." I breathed as I hauled him upright to lean against the wall.

His nose was bloody as was his mouth and he stared down at the floor as if he couldn't see me.

"Loki?" I asked, placing my hand on the side of his face.

"I was right." He rasped without looking up at me.

"What?"

"My fear was correct. Frigga is dead, slain by the Kursed and as she died, you suffered her fate." He said quietly, a drop of blood dripping from his lip. "It's all my fault."

The clone Loki scoffed and I shot him a nasty look.

"Oh gods..." I whispered, turning back to the real Loki. "I…I'm so sorry."

He looked up at me finally and I was startled to see that his usually bright green eyes were hollow and red from crying. He looked destroyed, helpless and terrified, and in that moment my heart broke for him. We weren't different after all really; we were both angry scarred children with no one to help us. He was just as alone as I was.

But not now. I was here, as useless as I was.

I held him and to my surprise, he not only allowed it, but he held me back, his body shaking with fresh sobs.

He buried his face in the curve of my neck and squeezed me tightly as if he was afraid that if he didn't hold onto something he'd be lost.

I raked my fingers through his tangled hair, wanting more than anything to tell him that everything was alright, but I knew that it wasn't.

"I'm so sorry Loki." I whispered uselessly, not knowing what else to say. "I'm so, so, sorry."

He stopped shaking after a while and his cries quieted and his ragged breathing became deeper and more controlled.

I leaned my face on the top of his head and began quietly humming a very old lullaby that I no longer remembered the words to. I think Gwen used to sing it to me when I was a child. Loki relaxed after a while, leaning into me and allowing me to stroke his hair. Gods I wished I could make this stop.

"You're not bleeding anywhere else are you?" I asked gently.

"I don't know. I don't care." He mumbled into my neck.

"Can I check?"

He nodded and slowly sat up, staring down at me sitting between his legs with dead eyes. I brushed a stray hair out of his face and rubbed his cheek with my thumb. Good god I wanted to kiss him.

I looked down at his hands and noticed little shards of glass sticking out of his right arm, the angle of the shards and the blood smudges on the floor suggesting that he slipped in his own blood and fell in the glass.

I used magic to make the bits of glass disappear out of his skin, leaving angry red little dots in his arm, but I couldn't do anything about that so I moved on to check the rest of him over. A large gash stretched across the bottom of his left foot which still bled. I glanced behind me to the barrier where the blue shards of a glass bottle littered the floor. I stretched out my hand and willed the shards to reconnect and the bottle, whole again and filled with water, leapt into my hand.

I made some black cloth out of shadow and began cleaning the crimson blood from his arm and his foot. He stared at the floor as I did this and I glanced up at him, worry gnawing my belly. I tied the cloth around his foot and scooted back up to his body. I made another black cloth and I gingerly wiped the blood from his lips and nose. His hair was still a tangled mess and running my fingers through it the wrong way hadn't helped.

The clone, who I decided was the embodiment of Loki's wrath, was seething in the corner, unable to shout profanity at Loki like he obviously wanted to.

I ignored him and sat on my haunches and began combing my fingers through his raven hair to fix it.

"Why are you being so kind to me?" He asked softly, his tired eyes looking up into my face.

"Because you're allowing it." I replied, brushing all of the hair away from his face and holding it in my hands. He stared up at me, a tiny but of the pain gone from his worn face.

"My brother visited me while you slept." He rumbled quietly as I resumed combing his hair.

"What did he want?"

"He came to me for help."

I glanced down at him.

"Is he thick?"

Loki gave a half hearted smirk.

"He needs me to take him away from Asgard. An entire fleet of dark elves invaded when the Kursed attacked, they're after the Aether that Thor's little Midgardian is currently host to and he believes that it is best to lure them away from Asgard."

"I see." I mused, combing his hair thoughtfully.

"So one good thing has come of this."

"What?"

"We're getting out of here. Thor is coming for us at dawn."

I felt myself grin down at him.

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes." He replied, a ghost of a smile tugging on his face. "By this time tomorrow, you will be free of this place forever."

I tilted my head to the side, my grin fading. "Won't he throw us back in here after you help him though?"

I know not." He said slowly. "But if they do, I want you to escape."

I blinked. "But-"

"Vey please." He interrupted tiredly. "I can't bear the thought of you being confined here with me. It is worse a sin than taking a birds wings."

I wanted to argue, but as I stared down into his pleading, grief stricken eyes, the words died on my tongue.

"Fine." I said softly.

He relaxed a bit. "Thank you."

I sighed. "Well, you're not a hot mess anymore and if we're getting out of here tomorrow, we're probably going to kick some ass, and in order to do that, we need some sleep." I said with a yawn.

He laughed shortly without smiling. "I am not tired."

"Yes you are." I said, standing up and offering him my hands.

He looked up at me and I couldn't tell if it was with irritation or amusement.

I made a grabbing gesture with my hands. "Come on then."

He rolled his eyes but let me haul him up and drag him by the hand to the bed. He got into it but I paused, unsure if he wanted me next to him tonight. He looked up at me and drew back the blankets, inviting me in. I crawled under the covers next to him and scooted as close to him as I dared to. He turned on his side away from me and I laid on my back, staring up at the now dark ceiling.

"Goodnight Loki." I said softly.

"…Goodnight Vey." He replied.

It didn't take him long to fall asleep; his breathing soon became slow and rhythmic and after about half an hour he rolled over to rest his head on my boobs, something he probably  _never_  would have done had he been conscious, so I felt it safe to assume that he was truly asleep.

Silently, I willed the chains on the other Loki to disappear, but he didn't move.

"Are you going to attack him again?" I whispered, disrupting the silence.

"…No." He replied, nearly silent.

"Good." I relaxed, lifting the covers invitingly. "Get in."

The other Loki got up and walked slowly over to the bed and stared down at me, most of the cold fury gone from his green eyes.

"You would allow me to lie next to you?" He asked a hint of confusion in his deep quiet voice.

"Of course. I'm not about to make you sleep in chains on the cold floor. Ironically enough, I'm not that heartless."

The corner of Loki's mouth twitched up a bit and I knew that was the closest I would get to a smile.

He climbed into bed next to me and didn't hesitate to rest his head on mine and press into me. I wedged one of my legs between his and sighed deeply, feeling much more content than I cared to admit.

"Goodnight." He said quietly.

"Night." I replied.

I drifted off into a deep slumber, warm and comfy in the arms of two Lokis, not giving a thought to what tomorrow would bring.


	8. Chapter 8

"Vey."

I groaned and rolled over, away from the voice.

"Vey wake up; it's nearly dawn."

I felt a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me. I swatted it away.

Loki chuckled and I slit one eye open to look up at him.

I groaned again and sat up, rubbing my eyes.

Loki was now in full armor, what had to be at least forty pounds of black leather and metal, and the clone he had conjured to punish him was gone.

He smiled down at me as I yawned and got out of bed.

"Good morning Vey." He said quietly.

"There's nothing good about a morning that isn't slept through." I grumbled.

He chuckled.

"I'm liking the leather." I commented, eyeing his new clothes. "It suites you."

He grinned and stood up a bit straighter. "We need to get you something thicker as well, and before you say it, I'm aware that you're usually not solid enough to be harmed, but I can't help but worry."

I shrugged. "That's easy enough."

I willed shadow to wrap around my body and solidify, turning into thick black leather pants and a jacket.

Loki frowned. "Don't you think you'll need shoes Vey?"

I scoffed. "Nah. They'll just slow me down."

He rolled his eyes but didn't argue.

I heard the creak of an unseen door open and Loki walked up to the barrier and stared out expectantly.

Thor appeared, walking up to the barrier and looking in at us.

"Hello brother." Loki said snark and sarcasm coloring his voice.

"Who is this?" Thor asked, peering around Loki at me. You wouldn't know they were brothers by looking at them; Thor was the exact opposite of Loki. He had bright blue eyes and long blonde hair, somewhat tan skin, and stubble on his face. He looked a bit taller than Loki and was thickly muscled.

"This is Vey." Loki said simply, turning so that I could look up at Thor. "Vey this is Thor."

I sauntered up to the barrier next to Loki and stared evenly up at Thor.

Thor's eyes narrowed "Verbannen? How in the Nine did you get here?"

I glanced up at Loki who was looking past Thor unconcernedly.

"Queen Frigga summoned me here to protect Loki." I summarized. "I've been here for about a week."

He looked at me strangely and I could see his reluctance to let us out.

"It's not as if you've got much of a choice brother." Loki drawled. "Besides, she cannot harm Asgardians; she is still bound to Frigga."

I stared at Thor and resisted the urge to glance at Loki. I hadn't thought of that. Was it true? Where  _was_  the other half of my heart now?

"Alright." Thor said slowly. "But you are not to harm anyone that isn't a dark elf."

I smiled jaggedly. "As if I have a choice."

Thor opened the cell and Loki and I stepped out. The entire dungeon was abandoned except for the three of us, the other cells were empty and the bodies that previously littered the floor had been taken away.

Thor was watching us suspiciously, ready to intervene if either of us immediately started wrecking havoc. Luckily for him, I didn't plan on doing anything like that, mostly because I didn't know if I could and I couldn't afford to find out.

"Well." Loki said, glancing around the abandoned dungeon. "We won't accomplish much standing here."

Thor turned and began walking down the hall and Loki and I followed him up the stairs and I couldn't help grinning at Loki excitedly.

He smiled back but mouthed the words "Keep quiet Vey."

I nodded as Thor pushed the large elaborate doors open to the castle. Morning light filtered through the wide open windows and I breathed in fresh air for the first time in far too long.

I changed into shadow and darted around the hall, ecstatic to have room to move.

"This is so unlike you brother." Loki commented, striding in tune next to Thor. "So clandestine. Are you sure you wouldn't rather punch your way out?"

I fell back next to Loki and I smirked at his voice that was positively dripping in snark.

"If you keep talking I just might." Thor replied.

"Fine." Loki replied mischievously. "I'm not even here."

Green light shimmered over Loki and I, and I looked down at myself and realized that he was disguising us both as guards.

"Is this better?" Loki asked a voice that didn't belong to him.

"It's better company at least." Thor agreed, irritation coloring his voice.

I giggled but it came out as a gruff chuckle.

Loki disguised as the guard glanced at me and winked.

"You're right. We could be less conspicuous." He shrugged. Another green shimmer of light and Loki and myself were back to normal but Thor had changed into a pretty woman with dark brown hair in armor that I didn't recognize.

"Mm. Brother. You look ravishing." Loki purred sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed as Thor glanced down at himself in surprise.

"It will hurt no less if I kill you in this form." Said Thor in his normal voice, which sounded completely bizarre coming from the woman.

"Very well." Loki said with the air of arguing with someone unreasonable. "Maybe you would enjoy the company of some of you new companions, seeing as how you like them so much."

More light and Thor was returned to his original state but Loki had changed into a somewhat shorter blonde man in a red white and blue outfit with an enormous circular shield and I now had long red hair that obscured my peripheral vision and when I glanced down at myself my chest was significantly bigger and I was in a black cat-suit.

"Ooo. This is much better." The man said in a thick American accent. "The costume's a bit much. So tight. But the  _confidence_!" I can  _feel_ the righteousness surging!"

I laughed in the voice of the woman and Loki turned to face Thor as he walked, the huge shield swinging around.

"Hey. Wanna have a rousing discussion about truth? Honor? Patriotism? God bless Amer-" The man was yelling, but broke off as Thor shoved him into a pillar and put a hand over his mouth.

Loki let the illusions fade and shook off Thor's hand. "What?"

Thor nodded down the hall to where two guards walked by on patrol.

"Please; that's easily taken care of." I said quietly, moving to chase down the guards.

"No, I said no killing." Thor growled.

"Maiming isn't killing." I defended, but allowed the guards to pass out of the hall.

"You could at least furnish me with a weapon." Loki urged Thor. "My dagger,  _something_."

Thor glanced at Loki who nodded and raised his eyebrows, and reluctantly, started searching his pockets for a weapon.

I morphed into shadow and scouted ahead a bit, seeing two more guards that weren't headed in our direction.

"Ah finally." I heard Loki say approvingly. "Some common sense…" He trailed off and when I returned to his side I saw him holding his hands, now cuffed together at the wrists, up in front of his face as he glared at Thor, his jaw working in irritation.

Thor chuckled. "What's the matter? I thought you liked tricks."

Loki glared at him and Thor grinned. It was starting to be obvious that they were brothers.

Two more people appeared at the end of the hall, walking quickly toward us. Thor walked to them in greeting so I assumed that they weren't a threat.

"Vey." Loki said quietly.

"Hm?" I asked, turning to look up at him.

"I don't know what's going to happen so, with your permission, it would be much easier to communicate with you telepathically." He said quickly, his eyes darting to Thor and the others.

"Oh, yeah that's fine." I nodded. I usually hated having other people in my head but it would probably be alright for Loki to do it as long as he didn't get too nosey.

"Good." He said, giving my forehead a quick kiss. "Try not to think of anything too naughty; it'll be awfully distracting."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. Like I'd be dumb enough to fantasize about him when there was the remotest chance that he'd find out about it.

"I heard that." Loki's voice said from inside of my head as he looked down at me. "And, my, that almost makes it sound as if you  _have_  before."

I ignored his immensely smug expression and focused on the newcomers; two women, one of whom I recognized as the woman that Loki had turned Thor into earlier.

They both glanced at me apprehensively and turned on Thor, obviously waiting for an explanation.  
"You're…" One of the women said, walking past Thor and the other woman, her finger pointed threateningly at Loki.

"I'm Loki perhaps you've heard of -" Loki began but broke off as the woman slapped him across the face.

I was too surprised to do anything and Loki turned his head to look down at her and smiled.

"That was for New York." She spat.

Loki chuckled. "I like her."

"Is that Verbannen?" The woman asked incredulously, and I was relieved that she sounded nothing like Thor.

My eyes moved from the woman that was glaring up at Loki to the one that had spoken, my lip twitching in irritation.

"Vey whatever they do and no matter how much they irritate you, I'd like you not to attack them." Loki's voice requested from inside my head as Thor explained that: yes I was myself, yes I was going with them and that yes this was a horrible idea.

"Fine." I mumbled out loud, making the woman look at me.

"Who are you?" She asked, her eyes darting to the horns on my head.

"Vey." I replied, eyeing her suspiciously. "And don't strike me if you value your hand."

She puffed herself up and I couldn't help smirking at her; it was rare to meet any being that didn't flinch at the sight of me and rarer still to meet a woman of Midgard that didn't seem to fear me at all. In fact, she seemed fascinated by me.

"I'm Jane." She said finally.

I tilted my head to the side. "Are you the one that the Aether is host to?"

She nodded, suddenly giving me rapt attention. "Do you know anything about it?"

"A little, but it is before my time. Although I suppose not that long before." I said thoughtfully.

"Two thousand years is a long time Vey." Loki commented.

"It's not nearly as long as five thousand." I argued.

"Wait." Jane said quickly. "You're three thousand years old?"

"Technically I'm like four thousand and something because I was about… one thousand when I stopped aging. I think. I don't really know to be honest, time is nothing to me."

Jane blinked and stared at me in wonder and Loki bumped into me playfully and twisted his chains around, testing them for weak spots.

I heard shouting and saw guards at the end of the hall rushing toward us.

"Go, take her." The dark haired woman said, turning to face the guards and unsheathing a weapon that grew to a double bladed staff. "Now."

Thor thanked her and we turned to leave, but the woman drew her weapon and pressed the blade against Loki's throat. I growled and got in her face but in my mind Loki said "Don't attack her Vey. I can handle this."

"Betray him and I'll kill you." The woman said.

A grin slowly spread across Loki's angular face and he laughed softly and looked at the woman. "It's good to see you too Sif."

The woman, Sif, glared at him but lowered her weapon and I followed Loki out of the room.

"You should have let me hit her." I growled in my head.

Loki laughed softly and looked down at me. "That would guarantee that we'd be thrown back in that cell."

I bumped him. "Just once?"

"Maybe later." He answered silently. "This is unrelated, but do you think you can get these off?" He jingled the chains on his wrist.

"Probably. I sort of like them though." I said smirking up at him.

I felt a pinch on my bum and let out an involuntary squeak and jumped up into the air half a foot.

"So where are we going anyway?" I asked, recovering.

"Svartalfheim." Thor answered. "The former home of the dark elves."

I casually pinched Loki back and his jaw worked as he looked down at me.

"I like Svartalfheim. It's quiet." I said.

"It's quiet because it's covered in the blood of the race that used to live there." Thor said seriously.

I shrugged as we entered a hall that was completely torn apart; the pillars were in ruins due to the large elven ship that had apparently crash landed in the castle.

A large man with a bushy red beard was waiting for us in front of the ship.

Thor and Jane nodded in greeting to him and started to the ship but the man stopped Loki by putting a large hand on his chest. Loki smiled and I turned into shadow and wrapped protectively around Loki.

"If you even think about betraying him-"

"You'll kill me?" Loki finished. "Evidently there will be a line."

The man glared at him but let him go. His eyes followed me as I returned solid and trailed behind Loki and he rolled his eyes like he didn't even want to ask what I was doing here.

Thor was smacking at what looked like the control panel in the middle of the dark ship.

"I thought you knew how to fly this thing." Loki commented, watching him struggle with the console.

"I said how hard could it be." Thor replied, smacking at more buttons.

"Well whatever you're ding brother I suggest that you do it faster." Loki said.

"Shut up!" Thor snapped, hitting the console with increasing force.

Realizing that Thor wasn't going to figure out how to turn the ship on, I darted up behind the console and began searching for the ignition.

"You must have missed something." Loki drawled, walking up next to Thor.

"I'm pressing every button on this thing!" Thor retorted.

"Don't hit it, just press it, gently." Loki advised.

"I am pressing it  _gently_  but it's not! Working!" Thor snapped, slamming his hands on the console.

I found a red button at the back of the console behind Thor's left elbow and as I hit it, the ship purred to life.

Thor laughed, pleased with himself as a holographic scene of what was around the ship sprang up around us.

"For the record, you didn't figure that out, Vey did." Loki commented.

Thor shot Loki a glare and the ship rose into the air. Thor turned the ship around, knocking down the few remaining pillars and making the ship jump around.

"I think you missed a column." Loki sneered.

"Shut up!"

The ship sped up and shot out of the side of the castle, taking huge chunks of rock and the few pillars Thor had missed with it. Other ships soon followed behind us and began firing at us.

I teleported out of the ship and flew around it in a cloud of black smoke, feeling more alive than I had in ages. I knocked two ships off course and turned solid to leap onto a third, knocking out the guards and having to be annoyingly careful not to break them. I returned to smoke and darted back to the ship that Thor was just managing to steer.

Thor knocked the ship into rocks and took out several towers and I swore under my breath. How the hell did he intend to escape like this?

I latched onto the ship and turned solid, looking out for more ships.

Thor steered us above the lake and I grinned, feeling the wind whip through my hair.

Suddenly a ship that I hadn't seen shot out from under the bridge and fired at us. I swatted away most of the beams, but one bite my leg before I could turn transparent and I screeched in pain.

I retreated into our ship, furious that I allowed myself to get shot.

Jane was lying on the floor and Loki and Thor were at each other's throats; Loki was shouting about how terrible of a pilot Thor was and Thor looked like he was trying really hard not to hit him.

"I have an idea; why don't we steal the biggest, most obvious ship, and escape in that! Crashing into things and making sure everyone sees us! It's a brilliant idea Thor, truly brilliant-"

Loki was cut off in the middle of his rant by Thor shoving him and sending him out of the open hatch in the side of the ship.

I gasped and flew out after him but he had already landed on an Asgardian ship that had been under ours.

He groaned as I landed next to him and I offered my hand to pull him up. He took it and Thor landed with a still unconscious Jane in his arms behind us.

"I see your time in the dungeons has made you no less graceful Loki." A blonde man said smugly, startling me because I hadn't seen him.

Loki scowled.

"I'd love to see if you land on your feet when I throw you off this boat." I replied, shooting him a glare.

He glanced at me apprehensively and didn't answer.

"You lied to me." Loki said, watching Thor. He shrugged. "I'm impressed."

Thor smiled somewhat in answer.

Another boat like ours was following behind us now and the blonde man tied a rope to our boat and tested its strength.

"Right." He said, looking at us and holding onto the rope. "For Asgard."

He jumped off our ship and swung back to the one following us and fought the guards on it.

The other ships all followed the elven one, shooting at it.

"Alright Loki." Thor said, turning to him. "Pilot the ship to the portal like you promised."

Loki nodded and took over the joystick, a maniacal grin emerging on his face.

He steered us away from the bridge and past the mountainous, less-populated part of Asgard.

I closed my eyes and took in as much of the clean, fresh air that I could and I smiled.

I was jerked out of my content trance by Thor yelling.

"Are you mad?" He exclaimed as Loki steered the ship directly toward one of the mountains. I squinted at it and I could just make out a crevice in the middle that our boat was never going to fit through.

"Possibly." He answered, his face alive with adrenaline.

"Hold on to me." he instructed from my mind.

I huddled close to him and he wrapped an arm around my waist and I braced myself.

The ship bounced off of the cavern walls as we entered and I clung on to Loki, ready to use any energy I had to save us if I needed to.

Surprisingly, the ship didn't crash and we were plunged into darkness for an instant before the ship was flung out onto the surface of Svartalfheim.

"Ta da." Loki announced.

I glanced around, amazed that we hadn't crashed.

Svartalfheim was just as I remembered; the air was thick with the smell of past spilt blood and soot and the entire landscape was barren except for the tall, lonely mountains that lined the horizon.

When I had traveled to Svartalfheim in the past it was because I had wanted some peace, which was easily found in the ashen desolation of the planet. I remembered enjoying being alone in the dark world with the wind and black sun as my only companions. But now, the gray-green sky and howling wind filled me with foreboding. This wasn't a place for the living; this was a world of ghosts and ruin.

"I know Vey." Loki's quiet voice murmured from inside my head as he gave me a reassuring squeeze. "I don't like it here either."

"Loki…" I thought, my eyes sweeping over the rocky landscape.

"Yes?"

In the (hopefully) shielded part of my mind, I debated what exactly it was that I wanted to tell him. That I felt like I needed to take him as far as I could away from here? That I couldn't shake the feeling that the ruin and death was far from over here? That I felt like the very ground was crying out to me, saying 'Flee from this place! Take your beloved and run!'?

"Nothing." I thought slipping my hand into his and squeezing it. "Just be careful.

"I'm always careful." He replied looking down at me for a moment before releasing me and standing up.

"You're hurt." Loki started aloud, noticing the white blood spattered on the outside of my left thigh.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." I assured him, making a conscious effort not to wince.

"No you aren't. Sit." He instructed, pointing to the seats that lined the boat. I scowled at him but sat down and let him look at my leg.

Thor laid Jane down and covered her with a cloak and she stirred weakly.

I watched him as he glowed down at her and even someone so blatantly uncomprehending of emotions like I was could easily see that he loved her. I smirked slightly. It was funny to me that these two princes, gods some might say, were fussing over a mortal and a monster.

Loki began wrapping a cloth around my leg and glanced up at me.

"You're going to need to be more careful Vey." Loki said quietly.

I shrugged. "It's healing by itself without your help- OW!"

I yelped and smacked his hand as he squeezed my thigh where the laser had cut a hole.

He looked up at me, taken aback.

"I'm stopping the bleeding Vey; you can't afford to be losing blood like this." Loki said. "That can't have hurt more than getting shot in the first place?"

I huffed and shifted around, inwardly debating smacking him again.

Thor chuckled and I seethed to myself. Loki glanced over at Thor like he had forgotten that he was there, but he didn't move his hand from my thigh.

"Keep pressure on it." Loki said softly, taking my hand and placing it gently over my wound before getting up and returning to steer the boat.

Silence settled over the ship and Jane stirred weakly again. The Aether was definitely poisoning her and I was astonished that she was holding on at all.

"What I could do with the power that flows through those veins." Loki growled as if he had been reading my mind, which he probably had.

My eyes flickered over to him and I was a bit startled to see how  _hungry_  he looked. I knew that he had a deep rooted lust for power like I did, but I didn't think I could watch him ruin himself for it like I had.

"It would consume you." Thor said a tone of warning in his voice.

"She seems to be holding up alright. For now."

"She's strong in ways that you could never imagine."

I sort of doubted it. As I looked down at her I noticed how weak she looked.

"Say goodbye." Loki said, and I silently agreed.

"Not this day."

"This day, the next, a hundred years, it's nothing. A heartbeat. You'll never be ready and the only woman whose love you prize will be snatched from you." Loki growled, all the pent up malice letting itself out of him.

"And what are you to her?" Thor asked gesturing to me. "She will live forever; you are nothing but a blink to her and yet she lingers. And yet will it satisfy you when Jane is taken from me?"

I glanced at Loki with the horrible realization that Thor was right; Loki would likely live another four thousand years, but what was that to an eternity…

"Satisfaction's not in my nature." Loki said quietly, ignoring Thor's jab at me.

"Surrender is not in mine."

Loki scoffed at Thor.

"'Son of Odin.'" Loki began.

"No not just of Odin." Thor interrupted forcefully. "You think you were the only one who loved Mother? You had her tricks but I her trust."

"Was that her last expression?  _Trust_? When you let her DIE?!" Loki spat.

"And what help were you in your cell?" Thor roared, advancing on Loki.

"Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE?!" Loki roared back.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO PUT YOU THERE!" Thor exploded, grabbing Loki and slamming him into the side of the boat, swinging his arm back to punch him.

I grabbed Thor's arm from behind.

"That's enough!" I shouted. "I know he's an ass but if you hurt him I'm picking you up and throwing you off this boat so help me GODS."

They glared at each other but after a minute Thor lowered his arm, his face more grief stricken than angry.

"She's right." He said slowly. "Mother wouldn't want us to fight."

"Well she wouldn't exactly be shocked." Loki argued, a small grin forming on his face.

Thor smiled a little and shook his head.

"I wish I could trust you." He said finally.

The grin faded from Loki's face and he stood up straight, showing the raw pain and fury through the uncaring, sarcastic mask that he usually wore.

"Trust my rage." He said quietly, the terrifying anger coloring his voice again.

They stared at each other for another long minute before Thor sat back down next to Jane.

I sat down too and after a minute so did Loki, sitting down in front of me on the floor and resting his head on my leg. I ran my fingers through his hair and Thor looked at me strangely.

I tilted my head to the side. "What?"

"Nothing." He said, glancing down at Loki. "It is just surprising to me that he allows you to be kind to him; if anyone else did that they would likely lose a hand."

I laughed softly.

"I know." I mused, still stroking his hair.

Thor smiled somewhat as he watched us. I watched him out of the corner of my eye and decided to tell him something.

I put a little voice in his head that whispered "I may be corrupt and dark but I will do whatever I can do insure that the same does not happen to your brother. Even if I have to protect him from himself."

Thor stared into my blank eyes a moment before nodding.

Jane stirred suddenly and got up, her eyes now completely black and distant.

"Jane?" Thor asked, reaching out to her.

"Malekith." She answered, turning around and staring into the distance.

Loki and I got up and sure enough, there was the enormous ship of the dark elves, dug into the ground like a massive thorn.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Loki landed our boat on a cliff that over looked the barren valley in which the dark elves had landed.

We stood at the edge of the cliff, staring anxiously down it. We had gone over Thor's plan on the boat and I didn't see it working out; so I had formulated my own. It didn't matter to me if Malekith did turn the universe dark; I wasn't exactly a creature of light, so if and when Thor failed to destroy the Aether, I was grabbing Loki and getting the hell away from there.

"Are you ready?" Thor asked, turning to the three of us.

"I am." Loki answered even though I was pretty sure Thor had been talking to Jane.

We all stood and Loki held his hands out to Thor. Thor glanced between Loki and the cuffs.

"You still don't trust me brother?" He asked slyly.

"Would you?" Thor replied, but took the cuffs off.

Loki rubbed his wrists and stared down at the dark elves.

"No I wouldn't…" He said, pulling a dagger out of his armor.

Loki stabbed the knife into Thor's stomach and Thor cried out as Loki threw him down the cliff.

"Thor!" Jane cried out, stumbling down the cliff after him.

Loki glanced at me.                                                      

"Vey I don't know what's going to happen, so I want you to protect Thor and Jane as well as me." He said telepathically.

I nodded and Loki started down the cliff face after Thor and Jane.

"You really think I cared about Frigga?" Loki snarled, advancing on Thor. "About any of you?"

Loki kicked Thor, sending him flying several feet.

"Thor!" Jane exclaimed again, staring to him but I grabbed her wrist and held her back.

Thor grunted in pain and reached out his hand to summon his hammer, but Loki reached him first and brought his dagger down to his wrist, cutting his entire hand clean off and Thor's hammer sailed uselessly past him.

Thor screamed in agony and Loki stalked up to Jane and I.

I released her and he picked her up and dragged her over to the dark elves who were watching closely.

"I am Loki, of Jotunheim." He declared and I knew him well enough to catch the tiniest cringe as he said 'Jotunheim'.

"And I bring you a gift." He barked, throwing Jane at Malekith's feet.

Jane gasped and looked up at Malekith, fear in her black eyes.

"All that I ask in return is a good seat from which to watch Asgard _burn_." He finished maliciously.

The Kursed walked up next to Malekith and growled into his ear in elvish and I moved to stand next to Loki.

"They are enemies of Asgard." It explained raggedly. "They were prisoners."

Malekith's pale blue eyes observed Loki and I and he seemed to be satisfied that we weren't a threat to him.

Malekith raised his hands and Jane rose into the air, panic stricken and trembling.

Loki stood his ground and watched, his eyes occasionally flickering to where Thor lay pretending to be helpless.

"Are you ready Vey?" He asked in my head, his hand discreetly taking mine.

"This isn't going to work." I answered, squeezing his hand.

The Aether streamed out of Jane's skin and it gathered in a smoky red cloud in the air.

Loki said something, but I didn't hear him; my attention was completely fixed on the Aether, a strange feeling griping me.

Oh gods… The unmitigated  _power_  that it held… I would be utterly unstoppable with that…

Without thinking, I lunged at Malekith, knocking him away from the Aether and before anyone could stop me, I touched the Aether.

It invaded my body, snaking up my arms and into my chest and within seconds I had taken in all of the Aether.

The Kursed roared and moved to attack me, but as I turned to face it I jumped on it and threw it and it flew away out of sight with a bellow.

The other dark elves attacked with their laser guns but they didn't faze me at all and with a flick of my wrist, their necks all snapped and they fell to the ground.

I laughed, high and cruel as I felt the energy of the Aether surge within me.

"Vey!" I heard someone shout behind me.

I whipped around to see Loki rushing up to me, his green eyes wide and panicked.

I swiped my hand in his direction and black matter latched itself onto his face, covering his mouth and preventing him from talking. I couldn't afford him ordering me to stop.

I turned around, my eyes grazing over the landscape. I believed a test of my new power was in order.

I stomped on the ground with my right foot and red and black matter flowed into the ground and it began to crack and tremble and more red matter filled in the cracks.

The ground crumbled and shook violently as I laughed like a maniac at how powerful I had become. I was a queen, no; a goddess of ruin and nothing could ever stop me.

I felt something grab my wrist and I whipped around to see a tall Asgardian with raven black hair and emerald eyes struggling to get close to me due to the sheer power I was giving off.

I was about to shake him off, but before I could, my vision went white.

I was no longer in the dark world, I was in a white room, sitting cross legged, peering curiously under a bed at a black figure that was facing me. It seemed to be a girl that was fast asleep, her head resting on one arm as she breathed slowly and evenly. I smiled at her.

My vision swam again and I was staring down at the girl who was now huddled in a corner, bawling into her arms. My chest ached as I watched her and I sat down next to her, wondering what I could say to ease her pain. She didn't deserve to be in pain.

The scene changed again and I was lying on my back, reading a book. I knew that someone was sneaking up on me behind my book, crawling silently over me. I pretended not to notice as they plopped down onto my stomach to get my attention and my chest felt warm and fluttery as the girl from earlier poked her head under my book to look up at me with beautiful eyes that were the color of fresh snow.

"Yes Vey?" I asked, watching her contently.

"I'm bored." She replied, her bottom lip pouting out a bit.

"Really?" I said, unable to keep a smile from my lips. "I had no idea."

The girl, Vey, scowled at me playfully.

"Well what would you have me do about it?" I asked, warm and pleased that she was lying on top of me.

"I dunno." She sighed, shifting position on top of me.

She soon fell asleep and I smiled down at her and stroked her short frost-white hair. I leaned forward to kiss her forehead and she mumbled in her sleep and cuddled closer to me.

More white light and I was holding Vey and swaying back and forth lazily, my chin on her head as she nuzzled my neck.

She let out an ear splitting scream suddenly and collapsed onto the floor, white blood blossoming on her black skin.

"VEY?!" I screamed hoarsely, falling to my knees and picking her up, tilting her face up to me. She didn't seem to hear me and white blood dripped out of the corner of her mouth and she suddenly fell still.

"NO!" I screamed desperately, shaking her shoulders. "No gods please NO!"

I started screaming for help, hot tears streaming down my face as I held the girl…

My vision snapped back to my own eyes and I realized that I was staring up at Loki, his hands cradling my face.

He touched his forehead to mine and form inside my head he said in a quiet calm voice "Vey. My darling. Please listen to me. This Aether inside of you is a poison."

I closed my eyes and felt the ground shake under us.

"You need to let it go Vey. Please try." His voice whispered.

How could I? How could I let go of something like this?

"Vey it will destroy you. Please…" He whispered, pulling my face closer to his. "I need you."

I gasped and the Aether rushed out of me, twisting up into the sky and my knees gave out as it all left me but Loki caught me and held me close to him.

"That's my girl." He said aloud, kissing my cheek.

"NOW THOR!" Loki shouted suddenly, sweeping me off my feet and leaping several feet with me in his arms. He knelt protectively above me and I heard a great rumble of thunder and through the gap in Loki's arms I saw a flash of blinding light and a deafening boom shook the ground.

The sound died away and Loki lifted his head and I peered around him.

The Aether was gone, seemingly destroyed by Thor's lightning.

My eyes widened in surprise; I hadn't expected that to actually work.

I opened my mouth to say that to Loki, but I stopped.

Crimson shards were rising out of the ground and floating up into the air and they rushed together suddenly to reform the Aether.

"Well shit." I said distantly.

The Aether suddenly shot down to a figure that was standing at the other side of the valley and I had limited guesses as to who it was.

It was Malekith, surrounded by at least two dozen more dark elves.

"No you don't." Loki mumbled, getting up off me and pulling me up. I saw a clone of Loki pull Jane up as well before disappearing and Thor began swinging his hammer around to go after Malekith.

The two dozen dark elves rushed at us from across the valley.

"Go after Malekith." Loki shouted to Thor. "We can handle them."

Thor nodded and took off and Loki and I ran at the dark elves.

I reached them first and pounced on one and ripped his head clean off and grabbed the leg of another and swung him into four more, knocking them down.

Loki was fighting off five more of them easily and I grabbed a knife from one of the fallen elves and finished off the four that I had knocked down before they could get up.

One grabbed me from behind so I kicked my feet up and swung them in between the elf's legs and sent his face slamming into the ground. I grabbed his head and twisted it in a complete circle and it was still.

I turned to shadow and wrapped around one and suffocated it and moved on to do the same to five others and returned solid.

Loki finished off the last one by grabbing its jaw and yanking it, snapping its neck easily.

I grinned at him and he nodded, smirking.

Everything seemed to be going well; the elves were dead, Thor was headed to intercept Malekith and the rest of the elves, and Jane was safe. But then something huge jumped on Thor as he flew and threw him into a nearby mountain.

I had forgotten about the Kursed.


	10. Chapter 10

Loki glanced back at Jane and shouted "Stay there!"

"Vey it's going to take two of us to take down the Kursed." Loki said, starting to sprint to where the Kursed was fighting Thor. "I'm going to try and stop Malekith; try and help Thor."

I nodded and we broke off, Loki raced toward the ship and I morphed into a shadow and rushed to where Thor and the Kursed were clashing.

The Kursed had Thor pinned to the ground and was repeatedly slamming its fists into Thor's face.

I rammed into the Kursed and knocked it back from Thor. It rolled to its feet and bellowed in rage at me and I roared back louder.

It rushed at me, its arms outstretched and I braced myself. It slammed into me and my feet slid several feet back and our arms locked together but I didn't falter under its weight.

It made a strange gruff sound and grinned evilly at me and I realized that it was laughing. I dug my feet into the ground and outrage surged through me. I'd show this giant ugly brute who to laugh at. I pushed back with all my strength and my feet stopped sliding backward in the dirt.

The Kurseds taunting expression immediately left its face and shock replaced it. I was holding my own against one of the strongest creatures in the Nine.

I had a metallic 'twack' and the Kursed was knocked away from me by Thor's hammer.

"I had it under control!" I shouted over the Kursed roaring again.

"I know!" Thor replied. "I'm just speeding up the process!"

I scowled and the Kursed tackled Thor and I leapt onto its back. My hands grew into talons and I dug them into the Kursed's thick hide and Thor pounded his hammer into its face.

The Kursed screeched in rage and tried to grab Thor and I grabbed one of the horns on its head and yanked so hard that it snapped off.

The Kursed howled in rage and threw me off. The Kursed turned on me, completely ignoring Thor now, and it ran at me. I didn't have the strength left to wrestle with it again, so I turned to run but I tripped over a rock like an idiot. The Kursed lifted me up and shook me so hard my vision left for a second and before Thor could make it drop me, it snapped my right leg as easily as if I had been made of glass.

I screamed horribly and it tossed me to the side where I tumbled onto my broken leg and I shrieked again.

The Kursed advanced on me again and Thor threw his hammer at it, but it swatted it away and ignored it.

I gasped, in so much pain that I couldn't think straight and looked helplessly up at the Kursed. It towered over me and raised its fist to finish me off but as it swung down Loki threw himself in front of me and swung a long sword into the muscle of its forearm at the same time that Thor tackled it and put it in a headlock with his hammer.

The Kursed stumbled back and Loki scooped me up and ran with me.

I clung onto him and tried hard not to pass out as my leg was jarred around by Loki's running. Thankfully he didn't run for long and gently set me down on the ground and looked down at me in alarm.

"Vey?" He asked, putting a hand on my cheek. "What did that beast do to you?"

"My leg." I hissed through clenched teeth. "It's broken."

He looked down at my leg and inhaled sharply. Fearing the worst, I pushed myself up and saw that the bone of my upper leg was sticking out of my skin and white blood was splattered all over me and Loki and I nearly fainted.

"Don't look at it." Loki instructed, tilting my head up to look at him instead of my leg. "Don't worry darling it will heal on its own soon enough."

I nodded, my eyes drifting partially closed.

"I'm going to have to set the bone before it can heal however." He said quickly, looking at me for permission.

"Just do it." I replied, clenching my fists and screwing my eyes shut.

"Here, squeeze my hand, crush it if you'd like." He offered, slipping one of his hands into mine.

In one quick, fluid movement, Loki pushed my bone back into my leg and I let out an ear splitting scream, throwing my head back and squeezing Loki's hand as hard as I could without breaking it.

"I know, I know." He apologized, quickly wrapping a cloth around my leg to help stop the blood. "I'm sorry Vey, I'm so sorry, but it's over now."

I forced my eyes open and Loki was staring down at me in anxiety.

"Gods, you're practically gray." He said quietly, rubbing behind one of my horns to comfort me.

The Kursed roared again and Loki looked up across the valley where it was fighting Thor. He looked down to me and back up, contemplating something insane.

"Loki no." I protested, knowing what that look on his face meant.

He looked down at me and I could tell that he already made up his mind. He suddenly pulled my face up to his and kissed me deeply and I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back urgently.

"Vey." He said, pulling away and leaning his forehead on mine. "I have to help Thor and I want you to stay here; you can protect Jane."

I shook my head, utterly terrified.

"Loki that thing could kill you –"

"Vey stay here –"

"No!"

"- that's an order."

"Loki!" I shouted in protest, but he cut me off by giving me a quick, apologetic kiss and bolted away.

"LOKI!" I screamed after him. "IF THAT THING DOESN"T KILL YOU I SURE AS HELL WILL!"

He shot me a stupid smirk over his shoulder and I huffed and rolled my eyes.

"Vey?" Jane asked, skidding to a halt next to me. "What's going on?"

"The Kursed broke my damn leg." I answered, starting to get up but stopped when acute pain shot up my body. "Loki's going to help Thor fight it."

Jane's expression became panicked and she focused on the other side of the valley where Loki was now joining the battle with the Kursed.

"We have to do something." She said, trying to stay calm.

"I'm useless; Loki ordered me to stay with you." I replied, biting the inside of my cheek anxiously.

Jane began pacing back and forth, wringing her hands together in front of her.

"What if…" She mused. "What if I go over there too? You'd have to follow me right?"

I could have kissed her.

"Brilliant!" I sang, forcing myself to my feet, trying to ignore the pain burning my leg. "Thank the gods that one of us can think straight."

Jane noticed me struggling to stand up so she grabbed one of my arms and wrapped it around her shoulders and let me lean heavily on her as we started making progress across the valley.

"Thanks." I hissed through gritted teeth. "Those two are idiots."

"Don't I know it." She grumbled.

It was torture putting weight on my leg even with Jane helping me, but I didn't slow down; if Loki got his stupid ass hurt I didn't know what I would do.

We were one hundred or so feet from them when a familiar and unbearable pain shot through my stomach like I had been stabbed and the Kursed threw one of the figures down to the ground.

I screamed and dropped to the ground and I clutched at my stomach that now had a massive slit in the middle that was gushing out chalk-white blood.

_ Oh gods please no. NO. _

Something that sounded like a bomb went off and the Kursed seemed to be sucked into itself, imploding into its body with horrible crunching noises and a scream.

I forced myself to my feet and ran, my entire body screaming in protest, but I didn't care; _I needed to get to Loki._

Thor was holding Loki who was shaking and gasping in pain and my heart stuck into my throat.

I dropped to my knees and stared down at him in horror.

"Oh god…" I said meekly.

"You fool, you didn't listen." Thor said heavily.

"I- I know. I'm a fool- I'm a- fool."Loki gasped, his skin starting to turn gray.

I shook my head and began urgently tearing his armor off around his stomach.

"Okay- okay we just need to- to keep pressure on it." I panted my head stupid from pain and blood loss.

I pried off the last layer of armor and my stomach dropped. God there was so much blood; his pale belly was completely covered in ruby red blood that was still pouring out of the laceration the sword had made.

"Loki? Loki stay with us." Thor begged.

"I- I can't." Loki gasped.

"Shut up, SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" I barked, pressing my hand on Loki's stomach. "He's going to be fine we just have to-"

I broke off as I felt Loki's hand weakly grab my arm. I looked down at him desperately, tears pricking my eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered shakily. "I'm sorry, I'm- sorry-"

Thor shook his head in dismay and I moved my hands from his belly with the horrible realization that there wasn't anything I could do. Loki was going to die.

"I'll tell father what you did here." Thor said thickly, his voice cracking.

Loki's bright green eyes drifted slowly between Thor and I and he lifted a shaky hand to rest it on my cheek and I shook my head and leaned into it, feeling hot tears stream down my face.

"I didn't do it for him." He said weakly.

He gave one last, shuddering breath and closed his eyes and the color drained out of his face and he was still.

Thor howled like a wounded animal but I just stared blankly at Loki's face, not able to comprehend what was happening.

My body went completely numb. I couldn't feel or hear anything and the only thing I could see was Loki's dead face which I didn't seem able to tear my eyes off.

I vaguely heard voices that sounded like they were echoing off the walls of a tunnel. I felt something squeeze my shoulder, but I didn't react.

I blinked a couple of times and realized that Thor and Jane were leaving due to a sandstorm that was brewing.

"Thor." I rasped, my voice sounding strange and hollow.

I heard the gravel stop crunching as they paused to listen to me.

"Make them suffer." I requested, venom dripping from my voice.

"I will." He said heavily.

They turned and walked away. After I couldn't hear them anymore, I glanced behind me. They were gone.

I turned back to Loki and leaned over him, a desperate spark of hope in my chest.

"Loki?" I asked, nudging his shoulder. "They're gone, so, you can get up now."

He didn't move.

"Loki. Get up."

Nothing.

I gasped; the hope in my chest drowning.

"LOKI!?" I begged, devastated, shaking his shoulders. "LOKI!?"

He didn't react.

"YOU CAN"T- JUST- _LEAVE_ ME HERE!" I shouted hysterically. "YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE OVER MY EVERY THOUGHT AND- THEN- LEAVE!"

I gasped and broke off. The only sound was that of the forlorn wind.

I sat there and stared at his body and I didn't realize that I had been screaming until my throat wouldn't scream anymore and I broke off, my chest heaving.

I choked and started sobbing pitifully, falling into the dirt next to Loki and curling up into a ball, my hands gripping fistfuls of my hair as I bawled.

I cried like that until all of my energy was gone and I lay in the dirt next to Loki, wishing more than anything that I had died with him, but I felt my body stitching up my belly and my broken bone was mending.

I dragged myself over to Loki's body and sat on my feet next to him. I brushed a stray hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear. I leaned forward, trembling, and put a gentle kiss on his forehead and laid down with my head on his chest, fully intending to lie there for all of eternity.


	11. Chapter 11

I knew that Malekith was planning to use the Aether to turn the universe dark unless Thor managed to stop him, but I just _didn't_ _care_.

What did it matter if all the Nine Realms died; my _everything_ was lying on the ground, his body still and cold. It seemed fitting that everyone should suffer like I was.

What little light the black sun gave of faded as it set and night soon overtook the land like a plague. I couldn't see anything; the sky was overcast with clouds that blocked out the starlight and no source of light was to be found on the surface of the dead planet.

I flicked my wrist and a ball of bluebell fire sprang up in my hand and I tossed it into the air where it hovered several feet above me and Loki, casting a ghostly glow over us.

I sniffed and shifted to rest my chin on his chest and stared miserably out at the pitch black landscape and after several minutes, I realized with a start that the landscape was staring back.

I lifted my head and squinted into the darkness and saw that a pair of glowing eyes was definitely watching me from the shadow of a large boulder.

Rage surged through me and I leapt to my feet and stood protectively over Loki's body.

"WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE YOU BETTER GET _THE FUCK_ OUT OF HERE!" I roared at the eyes.

They blinked a few times and disappeared.

I glared into the shadow they had been in for several minutes before I was satisfied that they were gone and I moved to lie back down next to Loki, but his body was gone.

Blind fury coursed thought me and the icy blue ball of fire blazed brighter.

"GIVE HIM BACK!" I screamed hysterically at the quiet land. "GIVE HIM BACK TO ME _NOW_!"

The orb of fire flashed and exploded and just before the light vanished, I saw a tall figure walking toward me from behind the boulder.

I gasped and fell backward. It had almost looked like...

I was motionless and silent, not daring to believe it. I swallowed and got to my feet and hesitantly stretched out my hand to summon more blue fire.

The fire flickered to life in my palm, throwing a sickly blue glow over the figure that was now standing mere inches in front of me.

It was Loki, but he looked wrong. His skin was sickly pallid, stretched tight over his angular cheek bones and his eyes were hollow and sunken in and completely void. He opened his mouth and thick dark blood poured out and I screamed in horror. The light burst and went out and I heard Loki scream too, his pleading wails echoing all around me, and I fell to the ground and clamped my hands over my ears and I shrieked in terror...

I blinked.

It wasn't dark anymore and I was sitting on my feet, my head pressed against something.

I started and stumbled backward and fell onto my butt.

Loki was kneeling in front of me, looking completely normal, albeit startled.

"Vey?" He asked, scooting closer to me. "Vey, can you hear me? It's alright, you're safe; you were stuck inside of your head but you aren't anymore-"

"...Loki?" I asked in a small, disbelieving voice.

"Yes darling, it's me. I'm alive I was-" He broke off as I leapt to my feet and swelled with rage, so angry that I could have been spitting fire. Loki shrunk back a bit and didn't get up.

"LOKI, YOU _SHIT_!" I screamed. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?"

"Well I-"

"YOU'VE BEEN ALIVE THIS WHOLE GODDAMN TIME!?"

"Well yes-"

"LOKI FRIGGASON HOW LONG WERE YOU WATCHING ME SOB OVER YOUR FUCKING CORPSE?!"

"Well not _very_ long-"

" _NOT VERY LONG_!?" I screeched, my voice becoming shriller the more I shouted. Loki looked infuriatingly taken aback by my screaming, which only added to my fury.

"Vey I'm sorry." Loki said quickly. "I didn't realize that it would upset you this much; I did the research, there isn't any logical reason that it would be this distressing to you-"

I could have killed him.

"DID IT EVER CROSS YOUR _BRILLIANT_ MIND THAT MAYBE I LOVE YOU AND IT WOULD DESTROY ME TO HAVE YOU DIE IN MY ARMS, _YOU_. _COMPLETE_. _FUCKHEAD_!"

That shocked both of us and I froze, my jaw moving, but no sound came out.

Loki slowly stood up and stared down at me in astonishment. After a minute he opened his mouth but I shook my head quickly.

"I am completely willing to forget about that if you are-" I said in a rush.

"Vey I love you too." I blinked and stared at him stupidly. "And believe me when I say that I am sorry. I had to fake my death so that we wouldn't be thrown back into that dank hell hole. I didn't anticipate you to be stabbed with me nor would I have ever thought that you cared enough about me to react the way you did. I couldn't come back for you immediately because I had some things to take care of; some things that I know you will be pleased about once you are calm enough to do something other than shout at me."

I stared up blankly up at him and I felt about a thousand things at once. I didn't know if I was going to kill him, kiss him, cry, or just scream.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately and he kissed me back and lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his hips. I grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him all over his cheeks and his jaw and his closed eyes and his throat. Loki smiled.

"Does this mean you aren't angry anymore?" He asked, the question rumbling in his throat.

"No. I'm still completely infuriated with you."I said, planting a kiss on his jaw. "But, gods, I am so relieved that you're alright."

He laughed and I pulled away to look up at him.

"So... What are we going to do now?" I asked, twirling his hair around in my fingers. "Run away?"

"Quite the opposite; we're going back to Asgard."

I frowned skeptically up at him.

"Why?"

"You'll see once we get there." He replied mysteriously.

"What of Malekith?"

"I'm confident that my brother is more than a match for him."

"What of my heart?" I remembered suddenly. "The other half of it isn't safe-"

I trailed off as Loki put me down and pulled on a silver chain around his neck to reveal two halves of a large, glittering ruby dangling from it.

"You have it?" I asked, bewildered. "How?"

"My mother gave it to Jane for safekeeping before she... died, and, I swiped it from her when Thor tried to destroy the Aether." He said, looking pleased with himself.

I grinned.

"Oh you clever boy!" I laughed, hugging his belly.

He grinned and removed the chain from around his neck.

"Here." He said, holding the ruby out to me.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What?"

"Take it." He urged, glowing down at me. "It is yours after all."

I laughed softly. "Not really. Not since I met you."

He looked slightly taken aback by that and a wide grin spread across his face.

"I insist my darling." He answered, slipping the chain over my head and the rubies landed right over where they used to be with a soft thump.

I gently lifted them up in my hands and stared down at them in wonder. They felt warm to the touch and as I watched, they pulsed softly just like a heart would.

I glanced up into Loki's warm green eyes.

"But- but how do you know I won't just run off now that I have this?" I asked incredulously.

He smirked. "I do not. I simply trust that you won't."

I stared up into his eyes and my heart gave a strange sort of flutter, drawing my attention back down to it.

Loki smiled. "I love how it does that. Strangely enough, I'm the only thing that seems to have that effect on it."

I grinned up at him. I flung my arms around him and sighed.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." I mumbled into his neck. "I don't know if I would survive it."

"I won't." He answered, stroking my hair. "I promise."

I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his heart beating, something I thought I would never hear again. It was the best thing I had ever heard.

"We need to get back to Asgard before the convergence starts." Loki said gently, brushing my hair behind one of my ears.

"Right." I said, putting my chin on his chest to look up at him. "How?"

"We go back the way we came." He replied, starting to turn around but stopping abruptly.

"What?" I asked, peering around him.

"It was right here." He said, bewildered.

"What was?"

"The ship."

I stared at the empty space in front of us.

"...Are you sure?"

"Yes! It was literally right here not two seconds ago!"

"Maybe you put it somewhere else...?" I suggested, stifling giggles.

He glanced down at me and the unbelievably dumbfounded expression on his face set me off laughing hysterically. He recovered fairly quickly and gazed out at the land with an extremely unamused expression while I tried to stop cackling like an idiot.

"Oh don't look so sour darling." I grinned up at him. "I can take us back."

I morphed into smoke and wrapped around Loki and we shot up into the sky and toward the cave that lead back to Asgard. It only took us a few minutes to get back to the castle where I landed in the shadows of one of the empty halls. I left Loki and returned to being solid and grinned at him.

Loki however didn't grin back and narrowed his eyes like he couldn't see well. He stumbled over to the nearest pillar and leaned against it and sank down to the floor. I tilted my head to the side and crouched next to him.

"Loki...? Are you okay?" I asked uncertainly.

"...By the gods Vey how can you stand that?" He mumbled, his head moving in a little circle.

"I dunno." I said carefully. "I'm just used to it I suppose."

Loki made a sort of 'urk' sound and put his head on his knees.

"...Don't speak to me my head is whirling." He groaned.

I couldn't help a smirk forming on my lips. Gods I had missed him.


	12. Chapter 12

A deep rumble shook the ground and my head snapped up to search the hall.

“Loki, I think that might be the convergence starting.” I warned, offering him my hand.

He took it and I pulled him up. He seemed to have recovered from his dizziness and he stalked quickly down the hall and I followed on his heels.

“Vey can you conceal yourself?” He asked, his calculating eyes fixed somewhere ahead of him.

“Of course.” I replied dismissively, melting into his shadow.

He lifted his chin and I couldn’t help noticing that he looked a bit different in his disposition. He looked confident and proud and mischievous, like the king that he was meant to be. Green light suddenly shimmered over him and his black hair faded white and his pale skin aged and his green armor transitioned to brown. He was disguising himself as Odin.

“What are you doing?” I hissed from his shadow, displeased that he didn’t look like himself anymore.

“You’ll see darling.” He said over his shoulder.

We walked for a few minutes in silence before we encountered a group of guards.

“My king, the Aether is coming through the portal!” One of them exclaimed.

“Ready the soldiers on the Bifrost, warn the civilians to take shelter.” Loki ordered in Odin’s raspy voice, marching past the guards. “Now!”

They nodded and rushed off. Loki stopped at the edge of the castle and shed his disguise.

At the other end of the city, by the Bifrost, the crimson red mist of the Aether was snaking out of a portal, heading straight toward the city.

“I thought you said Thor could stop it.” I said quietly.

“He will.” He replied, pacing back and forth behind me. I wasn’t so sure.

“If he does, and good prevails and all that, do you plan to wander around the castle as Odin’s doppelganger forever?” I asked, frowning at the Aether.

“I’m hardly his double if there is only me.” He replied.

I glanced over at him.

“No way.”

He smirked slightly as he paced.

“Did you kill him?” I asked.

“No unfortunately not. He may still be of use to me.” He said shortly.

He obviously didn’t want to talk right now, so I swallowed my questions and leaned against one of the pillars, white eyes flickering between Loki and the Aether that was making progress up the bridge. It didn’t seem to be slowing down and the guards were gathered on the bridge in front of the city, knowing full well that if the Aether wasn’t stopped at the source it was useless to fight it.

“Loki I don’t think it’s going to stop.” I said worriedly. “Let’s get out of here.”

“No I can’t.” He answered, pausing to look down at me. “Asgard is my responsibility now, I cannot abandon it.”

I scowled up at him and I was about to retort when there was a loud boom and we both whipped around to see the Aether shrinking back into the portal like fog disappearing before the sun.

“You see?” Loki said smugly. “I told you Thor could handle it.”

“Well I’ll be damned.” I smirked.

The strain in Loki’s face relaxed and I could hear the cheers of the Asgardians drift up from the city.

“Well that makes our lives easy doesn’t it?” I beamed at him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

He smiled down at me and kissed me and I couldn’t help standing on my tiptoes to reach him better. He smiled into my mouth and suddenly swept me off of my feet, holding me up a foot or so above the ground. I laughed in surprise and grabbed his face and smushed it, making us both laugh.

He kissed me deeply and I couldn’t have been happier.

We spent the rest of the evening at a celebratory banquet in which Thor returned, bruised and triumphant, and a fair dent was put in the castle’s supply of mead. Loki disguised me as a servant so I could partake in the food too, and partake I did. I drank more mead than every other woman (except for Lady Sif) and by the end of the night I was so intoxicated that I couldn’t see straight and I was shouting and banging on the table with everyone else. Loki lead me back to his room in the early morning, mostly holding me up, and I didn’t seem to be able to quit giggling and squishing his face which would make me giggle harder.

Loki’s room was beautiful done in gold and emerald, and most importantly to me, had a large bed in which I could sleep.

“Hey.” I said thickly, staggering happily around the room. “Hey. Loki. Hey.”

“Yes darling?” He replied, lying face up on the bed, only slightly less intoxicated than I was.

“You got a nice butt.” I beamed, swiveling around to face him, grinning like an idiot.

He leaned up a bit and raised both eyebrows at me, a simpering smile on his face.

“Thank you, my little moon flower.” He said a bit less slurred than me. “You have the most flawless, exquisite, perfectly shaped ass in all the Nine Realms.”

I giggled loudly and jumped on top of him and sat on his hips. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me and I planted wet, sloppy kisses all over his neck. I wanted to drag my hand up his bare belly, but I couldn’t find where his armor opened and I huffed in frustration.

“Sorry, darling.” Loki said in between kisses. “I don’t think either of us are getting my armor off tonight.”

I rolled my eyes and he chuckled thickly and continued making out with me. I passed out not long after, while he was kissing me in fact, and in the morning I was lying on top of him with my face pressed into his neck, my shirt lost somewhere in the night.

“Good morning Vey.” Loki purred under me, still in his armor.

“Morning.” I mumbled, my head throbbing slightly, sitting up on top of him.

His eyes didn’t waver from my face but he smirked.

“Oh yes… I forgot about that…”

I shrugged. “I can’t help that I turn into a drunken harlot when I drink too much mead.”

His smirk widened and he sat up, his long fingers tracing up my bare back, making me shiver. He kissed my neck, biting slightly and I tangled my fingers in his long dark hair and I fully planned on getting laid until there was an interrupting knock on the door.

I groaned and he shushed me.

“Yes?” Loki asked in Odin’s voice.

“My king it is time for you to rise.” A voice on the other side of the door said. “You were intending to deal with Thor today.”

“Yes of course.” Loki replied. “I’ll be out in a moment.”

The servant's footsteps faded away and I groaned again.

“Do you have to go?” I whined, twirling my fingers in his hair.

“Unfortunately so, my darling.” He replied regretfully.

I huffed and got off of him so he could get up. He tilted my face up to him and gave me a quick kiss before striding regally out of the room.

I didn’t really want to follow after him so I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to remember where my shirt could have gotten to. I didn’t remember leaving the banquet hall in the first place and only gods knew what happened. I recalled tending to be a bit… ah, loose, when I drank a lot of mead. And by that I meant I turned into a dirty slut.

I found my shirt under the bed and decided I should probably go see what Loki planned on doing with Thor.

By the time I got there, Thor was already talking to Loki.

“ – Loki for all of his grave imbalances understood rule as I know I never will.” Thor was saying. “The brutality, the sacrifice; it changes you. I’d rather be a good man than a great king.”

“Is this my son I hear, or the woman he loves?” Loki asked, looking down his nose at Thor.

“When you speak do I never hear mother’s voice?” Thor retorted evenly.

Loki, disguised as Odin, lowered his eyes to the floor and I couldn’t help appreciating how good of an actor Loki could be.

“This is not for Jane, father.” Thor continued. “She knows not what I came here to say. Now banish me from seeing her ever again or say she can rule by my side, it changes nothing.”

“One son that wanted the throne too much, another who will not take it. Is this my legacy?” Loki asked in Odin’s tired voice.

“Loki died with honor.” Thor said and I caught Loki glance up at him strangely. “I shall try to do the same, is that not legacy enough?”

Loki didn’t respond and Thor held his hammer to Loki but Loki waved his hand and in the raspy, irritated voice of Odin said “It belongs to you. If you are worthy of it.”

“I shall try to be.” Thor replied.

“I cannot give you my blessing.” Loki said. “Nor could I wish you good fortune.”

“I know.” Thor said turned to walk away.

“If I were proud of the man my son had become, even that I could not say.” Odin added. “And I speak only from my heart. Go… my son.”

Thor smiled at Loki over his shoulder. “Thank you father.”

Thor turned to walk away and when he was gone, green light shimmered over Loki and his disguise was gone.

“No.” Loki said, grinning darkly as I wrapped around him in shadow. “Thank you.”

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as I solidified next to him and I smiled jaggedly. Finally, Loki was on the throne, just where he should be.

We fell into a sort of routine around the castle. Loki would disguise himself as Odin in the morning and attend to the dull duties he now had as king. It turned out that being the kind of Asgard was a ton of work and it took up most of his time. I would follow behind him as his shadow and every chance that he got, he shed his disguise and I would sit in his lap as he lounged on the throne. I would comb my fingers through his raven hair and he would tell me about what was going on in the kingdom; I didn’t care really, but I liked to listen to him talk. But, of course, we were always interrupted and I’d have to go back to sulking in the shadows. In the evening he would finally have some leisure time, which he spent every second of with me. We would wander around the castle grounds arm in arm and we would usually get lost in the maze of evergreen hedges in the gardens. There was a specific clearing in the heart of the labyrinth that I liked to lead Loki to; this clearing had a small pond filled with pink and white water lilies and soft springy grass to lie on. We would spend most of the evening talking and cuddling and kissing until the light faded and we would eventually retire to Loki’s gold and emerald room. He would carry me into the room and lay me down on the bed and kiss every inch of me which never failed to make me giggle and we would kiss and sometimes wrestle on his large velvet bed for a while then fall asleep in each others arms and repeat the entire cycle the next day.

Everything was great for several weeks until there was an uprising in Vanaheim, and Loki became so preoccupied that he had no time alone and I didn’t get the chance to talk to him all day and for the first time in a while, I laid in Loki’s large bed alone and spent all night staring up at the dark ceiling. By the time morning light shone through the wide golden windows, I had retreated under the bed and morphed into a cross shadow.

I scowled at the sunlight and the thick emerald curtains flung closed over the windows. I moved out from under the bed and slipped under the door to go and find Loki.

I passed several servants in the hall, but all I was to them was a fleeting shadow in the corner of their eyes and a brief cold chill. Easily forgotten in the warm morning sun.

I reached the throne room to find it empty except for the servants that were repairing the pillars that had been knocked down by the dark elves ship. I eventually found Loki in the room that served as the meeting place for the generals when they were planning strategies for war or skirmishes and the like.

Loki was too busy to notice me so I drifted around the rafters near the ceiling, watching vaguely in boredom.

I hadn’t realized just how dependent I had become on Loki’s closeness until I didn’t have it, and that kind of vexed me. Loki had given me my heart back but… had he really?

I glanced down at Loki disguised as Odin in irritation. Was this how my life was going to be from now on; trailing around in Loki’s shadow while he ran an entire realm? ...Well... If he was happy I guess I could deal with it.

My transparent stomach growled. It was high time that I went hunting; I had been living off of bread and meat since I first came to Asgard, which sustained me I suppose, but it couldn’t beat sinking my teeth into something that was still trying to fight me off.

I didn’t suppose that I needed to ask Loki if I could leave; I would only be gone for a day or so and he likely wouldn’t even notice my absence. Besides, even though my heart had been returned to me and I could stay here as long as I liked, I still had the nagging compulsion to travel.

Having made up my mind, I slipped out of the meeting room and left the castle.

It was easy to hide in the streets of Asgard; there were carts to dart under and shady alleys to slink down and no one gave any attention to an out of place shadow in the afternoon busyness. I got out of the city and headed toward the portal to Svartalfheim, though I wasn’t going to use it; there weren’t any beings there to hunt. Besides, I was never going back to that horrible dark place unless someone dragged me, kicking and screaming.

I shot up into the air and gained speed, leaving Asgard’s atmosphere. I wasn’t worried that Heimdall would see me; he hadn’t even been able to see the Kursed when it waltzed in right under his oh-so-watchful nose. I glided around empty space, completely elated to be free, really free, for the first time in forever.

I decided that it was high time I visited Midgard. It took me several hours to get there, but I wasn’t hurrying; I was just sort of drifting like I used to spend years on end doing. I reached the planet’s surface, landing in a wide green meadow and frightening several large black animals that scampered clumsily away from me.

It was night here, so I didn’t bother to hide as I poked around to get my bearings. I had been near here before; there was a very large city called ‘London’ not far from here. Cities were my preferred hunting grounds because there were so many people that it was laughably easy to drag a dozen of them off before anyone realized that anything was wrong.

I entered the city and moved down the streets as a shadow, searching for a tasty-looking victim. I willed my heart to sink into my skin, making a strange lump in my chest, but at least no one could touch it like that. My sharp ears picked up a high-pitched scream coming from somewhere several streets over and I dashed to the source of it to see a dark skinned woman who was trying to fight off a man at least three times her size. Perfect.

I solidified behind them and at the sight of me, the woman began begging and pleading me to help her, petrified tears streaming down her face. I didn’t know why, but I suddenly felt enraged at the man attacking her and I shouted to get his attention.

The man whipped around to face me.

“Fuck off bitch, this is none of ya business.” He snarled at me.

I grinned wickedly and in a blink I had leapt on top of him and sunk my claws deep into his shoulders. He gave a strangled shout as I brought him down to the ground. The woman stood there, terrified, and I glanced up at her.

“You should probably leave; this is going to get messy.” I told her, unable to help smiling at her jaggedly.

She made a squeaky sort of noise and skirted around the man and I, and ran out of the alley. I felt a blow on the side of my head and my eyes snapped back down to the man who was making a feeble attempt to throw me off and was shouting for help. I jumped up and kicked my feet into his stomach, effectively knocking the wind out of him and cracking several of his ribs.

I dug my claws into his back and dragged him further back into the alley, the only sounds that of his body scrapping across the pavement and a car passing. When I was satisfied that we were deep enough in the alley, I let go of him and stalked around him in a circle.

He was hoarsely yelling for help again, which struck me as hypocritical; he ignored the girl’s cries – it was only fair that I ignore his.

“Scream all you want; by the time anyone gets here you’ll be unrecognizable.” I growled, watching the dark crimson blood seeping out of the claw marks on him.

He gurgled something in response but it was morphed into a blood curdling scream as I knelt down and tore a large chunk out of his shoulder with my sharp teeth. I swallowed the flesh and blood dripped down my chin as I ripped another hunk out of his neck. His struggling became weaker as I ate and I could feel his life draining as he died.

The woman must not have alerted the authorities because it was half an hour before I was interrupted by a homeless man, who shrieked loudly seeing the ripped up corpse and me - demon like and covered in blood munching on it, and he ran headlong down the alley and out of sight, screaming about demons and monsters. I debated giving chase, but I was so full that I didn’t feel compelled to and I let him escape.

I wiped the blood off my chin with the back of my hand and morphed into shadow and left the gory mess behind me. I wasn’t going to clean it up, it wasn’t my problem.

I scaled one of the many tall buildings and slipped through a window that had foolishly been left open. It was a small, cramped apartment with a tall skinny man that was rifling through a fridge in his kitchen.

I sneaked up behind him, and when he turned around, he didn’t even have time to scream and he was out cold before the glass he dropped shattered on the floor. I picked him up and threw him over one shoulder and dropped him on a couch, so that when he woke up, he would convince himself that this had been a dream.

I had forgotten how much fun this was; messing with people because they were too stubborn to admit that anything strange ever happened to them or anyone else. There was a perfectly logical explanation for everything. 

I found the boy’s bedroom that was just as small and as cluttered as the rest of his house and I jumped onto his bed, knocking his laptop and several plates off it, which suggested that he lived alone. That was good for me.

I made myself comfortable in his bed, and out of curiosity, picked up his laptop. It was open on something called Tumblr and I scrolled through it. It seemed strange and full of references to things that I didn’t understand.

I made an account on it and spent most of the evening scrolling through pictures of comic book characters and ghost stories and gory images and macabre drawings until I became so sleepy that I closed the laptop and curled up in the comforter and went to sleep.

I slept for an unusually long time and when I finally woke up; I immediately knew something was wrong.

I was lashed to a bed, facing a harsh, blinding light above me. Blind panic suddenly gripped me and I thrashed against the chords around my wrists and my waist.

“Sorry to chain you down like this, but I had to make sure my people were safe.” A calm quiet voice said from somewhere to my left.

I stopped struggling.

“We’ve been on your case for a couple of years now.” The voice continued. “We could always tell when you showed up somewhere because of the unique readings you gave off, but we weren’t ever able to catch up to you before now.”

I groaned and turned my head away from the light and blinked rapidly. The room I was in slowly came into focus. It was a dark gray padded room with one glass wall. A man in a black suit and tie was standing a few feet away from me, watching me carefully. He was obviously someone of authority and I groaned inwardly; I believed that the Midgardians were all too stupid to ever catch me and I had allowed myself to get sloppy in my hunting.

“Who are you?” I asked, squinting at him.

“I’m Agent Coulson.” He replied. “What’s your name?”

I sneered at him. “Why would I tell you that?”

The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know my name, only the pet name of ‘Vey’ that Loki had given me and I’d be damned if I allowed anyone but him to call me that.

Coulson smiled somewhat. He had lines around his eyes as if he smiled a lot and he had a kind face and a quiet voice.

“I sort of figured you wouldn’t tell me.” He said somewhat tiredly. “But my people will figure out who you are soon enough.”

I couldn’t resist rolling my eyes. “I doubt it. None of you humans know who I am anymore.”

Agent Coulson narrowed his eyes.

“And can you turn that light off?” I asked, jerking my head up to it. “It’s irritating me.”

“Sure.” He said glancing at the glass wall and nodding and the light above me dimmed significantly. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

I blinked, happy that the light wasn’t stinging my eyes anymore.

“No, thanks. I’m stuffed.” I said grinning wickedly.

If that bothered him he didn’t show it. “

"I can imagine. So tell me, if you aren’t human, what are you?”

I fixed my white eyes on him suspiciously.

“What do _your people_ think I am?”

Coulson shrugged. “We honestly don’t know. I’ve had some run-ins with people from different worlds, but they all looked human.”

I wanted to say that I used to look human, but I silenced myself. I wasn’t giving him the tiniest hint that I was from Asgard; I couldn’t afford him somehow contacting ‘Odin'. Loki would be infuriated if he found out about this, so I stayed silent.

“Not gonna tell me that either, huh.” He said. “Are you going to tell me anything?”

“I’ll tell you this Coul-son; I’m only here because I’m curious, and the second my curiosity runs thin, there is nothing that can keep me here.” I said coldly, angry at myself for being stupid.

He didn’t look impressed. “I guess we’ll see about that won’t we?”

He observed me for another minute before turning and leaving through a door that slid open in the wall and I was left alone.

I heard him speaking to someone on the other side of the wall, but I couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying. Left alone with my thoughts, worry started gnawing at my belly. I couldn’t stay here; Loki might not notice if I was gone for a day, but he definitely would if I was gone for any longer. And what if they became curious about the prominent lump in my chest…

I wriggled around, trying to get out of the restraints, but it was useless; I would have to melt into shadow to get out of here. I supposed that they would find out I could to that eventually anyway, so I melted into a shadow and the clasps fell to the bed empty.

I knew I had seconds before they figured out I had gotten loose and I rushed to the other end of the room where Coulson had left and poked around. I found a crack in the wall and slipped through it.

Alarms blared as I rushed down the hall, trying to find an exit. Something shot at me but it passed though me ineffectively and I glanced behind me to see Coulson and some other stocky man running after me.

After darting around the small building, being shot at and chased and shouted at for several minutes, I realized that there was no exit, or at least I couldn’t force myself through the cracks around them.

I stopped and whipped around to face one of my pursuers, a tall man with a square jaw and short black hair. I solidified and leapt on him, knocking him off of his feet and willing shadows to wrap around his wrists to pin him to the floor. The other one chasing me, Coulson, raised a weapon to shoot me, but I willed my nails to grow to talons and pressed them against my prisoner’s throat, making Coulson pause.

“Don’t.” He warned, watching me carefully. “It’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

“Coulson,” The man I had restrained said thickly. “Don’t worry about me, just get her-”

“Silence!” I demanded, tightening my claws around his throat. “Where am I?”

“Somewhere above the U.S. right now.” Coulson answered.

I narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean?”

“We’re in a plane, flying above America, headed to a high security prison in Montana.” Coulson said slowly.

What? What did that mean?

I didn’t have long to wonder what he meant, because at that moment I heard something whistle through the air and I had exactly one second to twist around and grab the metal of some sort of sword which cut deep into my hand instead of my head. My attacker kicked me away from the man and I skid away toward Coulson, the shadows releasing the man.

An Asian woman with a gun was aiming at me and got a few bullets in my shoulder before one of my shadows knocked her aim off course and the bullet hit one of the windows of the plane and blew straight through it.

Time seemed to freeze for an instant as I stared at the little hole whistling in the wind, and something dawned on me; I couldn’t escape this place because it was airtight, a seal that had just been broken by that bullet.

In a heartbeat, I had morphed into a shadow and squeezed through the crack, leaving the bewildered agents and smudges of my milky blood behind me.


	13. Chapter 13

I rushed away from the plane as fast as I could and shot up through the atmosphere and away from Midgard.

Those humans had nearly captured me! All because I had been foolish and underestimated them!

I didn’t slow my break-neck speed until I had reached Asgard a couple of hours later. It was night now so I didn’t have to hide much as I twisted down to the castle. That was a bit of luck anyway, I was so exhausted that I didn’t know if I could hide myself effectively.

I slipped into Loki’s room through the open window and nearly fell onto my face as I solidified.

My body ached and stung from my wounds which didn’t heal because I hadn’t been solid enough for my body to repair itself. I was about to collapse onto Loki’s empty bed when a voice from behind me made me jump.

“Verbannen, _where have you been_?” A quiet, angry voice asked.

I winced at the wall. Busted.

I turned slowly to see Loki standing in the shadows, his green eyes flickering in the fire light. He looked just as infuriated as I had guessed he would until he realized that I was hurt and his expression changed to worry and he crossed the room in two large strides.

“Vey, by the gods what’ve you gotten yourself in to?” He exclaimed. “Sit, now.”

I was too tired to argue and I sat on his bed as he darted into the bathroom and returned a second later with bandages.

“Vey you’re a damn idiot.” He said through his teeth as he wrapped up my hand where that woman’s blade had cut right down to the bone.

I smirked at him.

He glared up at me between his eyebrows for an instant before turning his attention back to my hands. He started on my shoulder and I let out an involuntary gasp as he prodded at the bullet holes and he retracted his hand, looking at me in anxiety. It turned out that all three of the bullets were still buried in my shoulder and Loki had to use magic to get them out because my body had started to heal over them. He finally finished patching me up and sat on the bed next to me, staring coldly down at me.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“Where did you go?” He asked in quiet anger. Gods, I really had pissed him off; I thought that showing up hurt and tired and cute would be enough to make him forgive me.

“Midgard.” I shrugged. “I got bored and I was hungry.”

He inhaled slowly, and rolled his eyes, his jaw working in irritation.

“Yggdrasil be damned.” He muttered darkly. “You needn’t constantly be at my side Vey, but at the _very least_ could you not be thick enough to go looking for trouble?”

My eye twitched a bit. “Well what am I supposed to do; lounge around the castle forever?”

“Yes.” He replied, staring at me as if he was daring me to argue.

I laughed humorlessly and stood up.

“Do not speak to me as if I’m stupid.” I growled down at him.

“Then don’t act as if you’re stupid.” He snapped back, standing up and towering over me.

I laughed again, which made him even angrier.

“You’re the one that’s stupid if you think I’m just going to do what you want like an obedient little servant!” I spat, my voice rising.

His eyes flashed dangerously.

“As I recall, that is exactly what you are to do Verbannen.” He glowered.

Rage welled up inside of me.

“STOP TREATING ME LIKE I’M BELOW YOU!” I roared.

“VEY I’M NOT I-” Loki bellowed back but stopped himself. He turned away from me, seeming to be trying to compose himself and I glowered at his back.

He shook his head and stalked across the room to the door and I seized a vase from his bedside table and threw it at him, but the door slammed shut and it smashed against that.

“FINE! JUST HIDE FROM YOUR PROBLEMS BECAUSE IT’S _NEVER YOUR FAULT IS IT_?!” I screamed at the door, but Loki was gone.

My chest heaved in anger. Damn him! Damn me! Damn everything!

I couldn’t stand being in his room anymore so I leapt out of the window and vanished into smoke. I rushed to the garden, into the maze of hedges and quickly made myself lost in the labyrinth – anything to get away from Loki.

I found myself in an unfamiliar clearing with a large mirror like lake in the middle. Tall willow trees stood around the edge of it, perfect for hiding in.

I turned solid and walked under the largest one and leaned against its trunk and glared into the water where the droopy branches brushed its surface, fuming. After a while though, my anger ebbed away and with it the adrenaline and I sank down to put my chin on my knees and found myself trying not to cry.

I hated this. I hated feeling so unnecessary and so stupid and so tired. I hated myself and most of all I hated fighting with Loki.

I sighed and glanced up at the stars through the silvery leaves of the willow. I felt homesick but that didn’t really make sense. I mean, I didn’t have a _home_ to be missing.

God the stars were beautiful tonight…

I stared absently out at the lake for several hours, the distant stars watching me as if they at least understood how I felt. Dewdrops gathered on the grass and chilled my bare feet and I felt like dawn couldn’t be far off when I saw the dark shape of someone enter the clearing through the hedges.

And who else would it have been but Loki.

Loki strode up to the lake and glanced around the perimeter, squinting. Now that he was a bit closer, I could see the dark circles under his exhausted green eyes like he had been up running around all night. I desperately wanted to talk to him but he was probably still upset with me.

“Vey!” Loki called out over the lake. “Vey are you out here?”

Neither the lake nor I answered him so he went on.

“Vey I’m sorry.” He told the lake. “I was angry because I had been so worried about you. I was… _terrified_ that something had happened to you.”

The wind rustled the branches and they seemed to whisper something back to him. I heard a wind chime tinkling in one of the willows.

“Vey I don’t know what I would do if something were to happen to you…” Loki went on, his voice dropping. “I’m sorry…”

I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I got to my feet and left the safe concealment of the willow branches. He spotted me and I watched him apprehensively, suddenly worried that he’d become angry again, but his face broke into an expression of utter relief and he ran up to me and swept me up into his arms before I could say anything.

“By the gods Vey, I’ve been worried sick about you.” He said, squeezing me tightly.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered, my cheek resting on his shoulder. “For everything.”

“Me too.” He said softly, rubbing behind one of my horns with his thumb. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I said thickly, burying my face in his neck and feeling close to tears again. “I love you more than I thought I would ever love anything.”

Loki chuckled, sounding slightly disbelieving and rested his chin on my head as he held me. I lifted my head and stood on my toes to kiss his jaw, but something stopped me.

On the other side of the garden, peering out of a red rose bush was a pair of glowing yellow eyes watching us carefully.

I froze up and dug my nails into Loki’s arms and he glanced down at me in surprise.

“Vey what’s-”

“We’re being watched.” I hissed, recovering from my surprise and darting to the other side of the clearing to drag whoever it was out of the roses, but there was no one there.

Loki trotted across the clearing and came up next to me as I tore up the shrub.

“What is it?” He asked, glancing around the garden for other spies.

“Eyes.” I replied. “A pair of big yellow eyes.”

“Well they couldn’t have been looking at us.” Loki told me soothingly.

I paused. “Why not?”

“I put an invisibility barrier over us the second I found you.” He replied kneeling next to me. “It was probably just a servant wandering around.”

I looked down at my hands that were clenched into fists and covered in dirt. No… I was certain that the thing had been watching us.

Seeing that I was still worried, he smiled at me and held out his hands over the bush. Bright green footprints sprung up behind us, leading to where both of our feet were.

“No one has been here except for us, Vey.” He coaxed. “Their footprints would be glowing like ours if someone had been here.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and slowly released the mangled roses I had clamped in my hands. Loki was probably right; I was likely just seeing things because I was so tired and emotional. And yet… I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that I had seen eyes like that before…

Loki was able to coax me back to the castle and I was more than happy to curl up next to him in his large bed, even though it was early morning and I knew he would have to leave soon. Loki used magic to close the windows, which blocked out all of the light and pulled me close to him and wrapped his arm around me and nuzzled my neck and I smiled. I was pleased at how well our bodies fit together.

I was so tired that it only took me a few minutes to fall asleep in Loki’s arms and I felt completely safe.

The both of us slept most of the day away and when I woke up around noon, Loki was still fast asleep, his body curving protectively around me.

I sighed contently and snuggled closer to him.

I didn’t want to wake him, so I listened to the wind rustling the heavy curtains and Loki’s occasional mumbles and snores without moving. It was well into the afternoon before Loki woke up, stretching his arms past me and groaning.

“Good afternoon Loki.” I said softly.

He moaned a little in response and buried his face in my neck.

“My sleep schedule is beyond saving at this point.” He mumbled into my neck.

I laughed.

“Don’t you have kingly duties to attend to?” I asked as I stretched and pressed my back into him.

“Not today. They believe that I’m old and fragile and that I need rest.” He answered, yawning loudly.

I hummed unintelligibly and sighed.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Loki decided, getting up on his hands and knees and crawling over me. “I’m going to feel guilty if I lie in bed _all_ day.”

I grabbed his face as he crawled over me and kissed him and he smiled as he kissed me back.

Gods I loved him like this; messy hair, sleepy eyes, in the clothes he slept in. He was practically glowing.

He got off of me and sauntered into the bathroom and I heard the water turn on.

I yawned and rolled out of bed and onto my feet and I stumbled to the closed door of the bath, debating on getting in with Loki. I didn’t _need_ to bathe of course; I could just clean myself with magic on the off chance that I did get dirty. Besides he probably liked to bathe in nearly glacial water.

I shrugged, deciding I still wanted to be in his presence and I morphed into shadow and squeezed through the cracks of the door.

Loki was shirtless, standing in front of a large gold-rimmed mirror and as I solidified I opened my mouth to say something but I stopped.

A large livid scar stood out against the pale skin of his belly, but I had only glimpsed it in the mirror for an instant before he turned around and it was gone.

I blinked, confused. What the hell had that been?

“What is it Vey?” He asked, not seeming to know what I was nonplussed about.

“I, uh, nothing I guess.” I said, recovering. “I’m just still tired I suppose.”

Loki tilted his head to the side slightly, but he turned around and strutted over to the bath and his pants dropped to the ground.

He stepped into the water and I couldn’t help staring at him. Gods, he looked perfect like this too – alabaster and muscled and gorgeous.

“You don’t have to just stare Vey, there’s plenty of room in here for you too.” Loki said teasingly, turning to look at me out of the corner of his eye and smirking.

I scoffed, recovering now that half of him was underwater.

I teleported so that I was lying on the edge of the pool, one foot dangling into the water lazily. The water wasn’t as cold as I expected it to be.

“So tell me darling.” Loki said, ducking under the fountain that was pouring warm water into the pool. “How _was_ your little trip to Midgard?”

I shrugged, staring up at the ceiling where the water was reflecting dancing light in waves.

“It was interesting I suppose. I killed and devoured a man, broke into some kid’s apartment, made a tumblr-”

“What is a ‘tumblr’?” Loki asked with mild curiosity, glancing at me as he massaged soap into his raven black hair.

“Psh – sh, don’t interrupt me.” I shushed irritably, flicking my hand lazily.

Loki rolled his eyes and I continued.

“I got captured from the flat, woke up trapped in a plane by someone called ‘Agent Coulson’, broke out of the room, ran around the plane, got shot several times, escaped from the plane, and flew back here.” I said, summarizing, my foot splashing little circles in the water.

Loki had paused in scrubbing his hair and he was staring at me strangely.

“You were captured by shield?” Loki asked incredulously.

My head turned to him and I frowned.

“What’s shield?” I asked.

“It’s an organization the Midgardians have for capturing and containing things that they don’t understand.” Loki explained as he rinsed the soap out of his hair. “And, did you say Agent _Coulson_?”

“Yeah he was trying to interrogate me.” I said unconcernedly.

“What did he say to you?” Loki asked, his attention fixed on me.

“That ‘shield’ or whatever knew when I came to Midgard because of the energy I gave off, or, something.” I said indifferently. “That’s about it.”

Loki nodded thoughtfully and I watched him.

“Do you know Coulson?” I asked.

“Not well.” He said frowned. “I thought I had killed him however.”

I shrugged. “Well he didn’t figure out where I’m from and he’s realms away now, so it’s of little consequence.”

Loki looked unconvinced but he let the subject drop. Loki thought too much for his own good and I knew him well enough to know that he was going to spend the next couple of days brooding over this.

“You worry too much, you know that?” I said, closing my eyes.

“I have to.” Loki replied softly. “I cannot afford to overlook any miniscule detail of our lives and I must focus on every lie that I have carefully put in place or I could lose my fragile control and everything will collapse around us.”

I opened my eyes and glanced over at him. He was staring distantly at the water and it was obvious that he was contemplating less pleasant matters. Maybe Svartalfheim, maybe his mother, maybe something that had happened to him in those two years before New York that he hadn’t shared with me.

I sat up, dangling my feet into the water and I watched him fretfully.

“Loki.” I said softly.

He looked up at me and I could see torment flash in his eyes before it all ebbed away. He even managed to smile at me.

“Vey come here.” He requested, nodding invitingly.

I tilted my head but I eased into the pool, my clothes melting away as the warm water touched my skin. I waded over to him and he brushed my cheek with his thumb and I smiled warmly up at him.

“Turn around darling.” He said softly. I raised one eyebrow questioningly, but did as he asked. It wasn’t until I felt warm water pouring over my head did I realize what he was doing.

"I don’t need a bath Loki; I don’t even have skin half of the time.” I told him, but I didn’t dislike the feeling of the water trickling down my back.

“You’re sore and burdened with stress my darling.” He coaxed, tipping more water over me and rubbing soap into my hair.

I shrugged but let him wash me.

This was a little funny to me; my name was uttered in hushed voices even in the daylight all across the Nine Realms and here I was, letting myself be so docile for Loki.

Loki ran his long fingers through my wet hair and I stared down into the water.

I hadn’t forgotten about that scar I had seen on Loki’s belly. I had seen it, just like I had seen those eyes watching us in the gardens; they both stuck into my head and refused to leave like they were imprinted there and I was frightened by them. Was Loki hiding something from me? I suppose I didn’t know everything about him, but by the gods, he wouldn’t hide something important from me…would he?

I sighed and glanced at Loki out of the corner of my eye. I was starting to have doubts about what had happened in the dark world.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> holy shit i never put this chapter up im so sorry

We fell back into our routine around the castle.

Loki started going to the palace library in his free time and we spent at least an hour or two in there every day. Loki was studying some dusty old volumes that I couldn't make sense of and it seemed like he had a different one each day. It bored me to death that he would just sit still for so long and I usually lounged in his lap and slept so that I wouldn't drive him mad by harassing him.

I still worried about the eyes and Loki's scar, but I didn't share my concerns with him; I had the distinct feeling that he would just deny the eye's appearance as well as the existence of the scar.

I had started up the habit of putting my hands on Loki's belly where I had seen the scar; while he sat and read I would place my hands there without realizing it and when we lay in bed I found myself absentmindedly tracing my fingers on the cloth of his shirt. This didn't go unnoticed of course, but Loki didn't question me doing it. It was like he knew that I still had to touch him to be sure that he was alive and that he wasn't that cold body I had clung onto in Svartalfhiem.

As upsetting as it was to me, I also brooded over the dark world quite often. I remembered Loki being run through by the Kursed and I remembered sprinting to where Loki lay dying in Thor's arms. I remembered sobbing and desperately clinging onto Loki's trembling hand as he gasped for air, and then he died. After that though, my recollections became somewhat distorted.

I remembered being so hollow and dead that I shut down and all I could recall after that was darkness and agony until Loki came back and shook me out of my head.

If I really concentrated I could make out the fuzzy sound of someone screaming.

I didn't tell Loki about that either. He had plenty of things to worry about already; like he said, he had more than enough to occupy his mind.

Summer died into autumn and the days grew shorter and the nights cooler and the castle gardens were soon bathed in crimson and gold.

I was fascinated by this; I hadn't lingered in one place long enough to observe a change in seasons in a very long time and I spent all of my time away from Loki wandering around the grounds. It was incredible to me that the exact same gardens looked so disparate in just a few months.

Loki's responsibilities increased considerably again as the festival of Vetrnaetr approached. Loki explained to me that it was a celebration to mark the end of the harvest and to go crazy before the start of winter and the New Year.

That sounded well enough, but for the time being I found myself alone most of the time.

I was strolling around the edge of the forest, out of the city near the mountains, enjoying the cool evening and the pungent smell of dying things when I felt the back of my neck prickle, alerting me that I was being watched.

I twisted my head ever so slightly to the side to look behind me and my stomach dropped as I stared into the woods.

There, in the shadow of a large pine, were the gleaming malevolent eyes, burning in the dying light.

I went rigid as I gaped at the eyes. They were certainly real there was no denying that; they swayed up and down somewhat as their owner breathed and they blinked slowly as they observed me.

"What are you?" I asked quietly, finding my voice.

The eyes blinked again and I noticed that whatever it was had two sets of eyelids like some sort of reptilian beast and the thing turned away from me and into the forest.

I immediately gave chase; morphing into shadow and tearing after the creature. The thing didn't make a sound as it ran and I could only tell that I was still on its trail because of the sick, poisonous smell that it gave off. It must have been swift to avoid capture and after ten minutes of pursuing it, it got away from me. Even its wretched smell was gone.

I ducked behind a tree, listening intently for any sign of the creature, but even with my acute hearing all I could detect were the sounds of the leaves falling softly on the forest floor and the far off cry of some sort of bird.

I swore silently. I had nearly caught that thing! What sort of a being was it that it could evade me?

I padded noiselessly through the woods, scanning for any evidence of the creature passing through – a broken branch, an overturned stone, torn moss, something.

After walking for half an hour, I came to a small clearing with a large lichen-covered stone sitting in the middle. I trotted up to it and observed it with contempt; I should probably give up my hunt and return to the castle now that twilight had fallen like a hush over the forest.

I caught the faint scent of something vile and I whirled around to see the enormous, sickly yellow eyes and before I could react it leapt on me, grabbing my head in its boney talons and twisting violently, completely snapping my neck.

My mouth fell open and I got a glimpse of the creature, huge, emaciated, with leathery black skin, grinning at me with far too many teeth, before I crumpled to the ground and blacked out.

I heard the sound of something heavy being dragged through mud. I heard the labored steps of something trudging through the mud as well, but they stopped as if the thing was listening for something. Something was dropped, landing with a squelch in the mud and I heard heavy footfalls rushing away from me. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

I forced my eyes open.

I was lying on my back, squinting up at the starless sky. It was raining heavily and large droplets of water splattered my face.

"Fucking shit." I groaned, propping myself up with one arm.

I glanced behind me and I could just make out a dark rut in the mud that my body had made as that creature had dragged me.

The thing had run off into the woods, its putrid, acidic smell was gone and it had left large, taloned footprints in the mud. What the hell had it run off for?

I got to my feet, angry and filthy and a flash of lightening illuminated the sky and I got a glimpse of my location. I had no idea where I was; I assumed that I was still on Asgard, somewhere in the mountains. Immense, wild trees stood all around the clearing, seeming to leer at me.

I heard the screech of some unseen animal and I realized that even if that thing had gone I still wasn't safe. I morphed back into shadow, ridding myself of the mud, and retraced the ditch in the mud and after a few hours I arrived back at the clearing that I had been attacked in and from there it was easy to find my way back through the city and to the castle.

The light was on in Loki's window and I solidified on the balcony and peered inside through the rain splattered glass. Loki was awake, pacing back and forth in front of the fire.

"Hello Loki." I said, melting through the window into the light.

"Oh by the gods, Vey." He sighed in relief, striding over to me. "Where… oh gods…"

I tilted my head to the side in confusion and my neck stung in protest.

I reached up to touch my neck and realized that the skin was raw and throbbing painfully.

I swept past Loki and strode into the bathroom to inspect my reflection and I was startled to see that I had what looked like white, blistered burns in the shape of boney hands on my throat where that thing had grabbed me.

Loki looked just as shocked as I felt.

"Vey stay here, I'll be right back." Loki managed and darted out of the room.

I nodded in vague acknowledgement and I leaned over the sink to get closer to the mirror.

The burns were bright white like my blood and it looked like several layers of skin had been stripped away. That thing had burned me, or more specifically, its very skin had scorched me like some sort of chemical.

Loki returned and made me sit down on the couch so that he could gingerly dab some sort of medicine or something on the burns.

I told him about the creature as he did this, about how I had chased it into the woods and it had attacked me and dragged me off and that it had fled for no discernible reason and left me. The only little detail I left out was about how the thing had actually managed to kill me.

Loki looked extremely concerned about this.

"What did the beast look like?" He asked.

"Huge." I mused. "It was tall, taller than the Kursed but it was boney and gaunt. It had black skin like mine but it was leathery and it smelled horrible like acid and poison…" I trailed off and shivered.

"And you're positive that this creature is the same that you saw watching us in the gardens?"

I nodded and Loki watched the fire, frowning.

"Did it touch you anywhere else?" He asked quietly.

"I don't – oh, yeah, it was dragging me by my left ankle." I remembered, leaning over to look at it.

Loki nodded his head, indicating that I should show him and I scooted away from him and put my feet up on the cushions. I winced a little when I saw it; this burn was worse than the others and, now that I paid attention to it, it hurt much worse.

Loki murmured something in another language, a spell that relieved some of the burning and I sighed gratefully and leaned my head back on the arm of the couch as he bandaged it.

"You really must break this habit of sprinting headlong into trouble each time you're left to your own devices, darling." Loki mused.

I smirked and shrugged.

"It actually wasn't my fault this time though, I swear." I defended.

Loki rolled his eyes and I scowled teasingly at him.

"I know that you aren't going to like this Vey," Loki started and I resisted groaning. "but for your safety, would you consider staying in the castle for the time being? Just until we can figure out what this beast is and kill it."

I pressed my lips together in reluctance but I nodded since he was asking so nicely.

Loki's eyes softened and he smiled at me and leaned forward to plant a kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you darling." He sighed. "It will be a weight lifted from my shoulders knowing that you are safe."

"I don't know if either of us are truly safe Loki." I fretted, getting to my feet and beginning to pace in front of the fire and I jumped at another clap of thunder. "What if that thing gets into the castle?"

"Then the guards will take care of it." Loki replied from the couch.

"Oh the guards couldn't stop that thing." I said, dismissing the idea. "If it was too much for me, it's definitely too much for any number of them."

I kept pacing and Loki's emerald green eyes followed me, half lidded.

"And what if it goes after you next?" I worried, biting the inside of my cheek. "What if it burns you up and drags you off too – you're a frost giant hell knows what'll happen-"

"Vey."

"-and I don't want that thing anywhere near you! I mean look what it did to me-"

"Vey." Loki repeated, a bit louder.

I stopped pacing. "What?"

Loki opened his arms invitingly. "Come here."

I watched him for a moment, a smile tugging on my lips.

I walked over to the couch and settled down in between his legs and he wrapped his arms around me comfortingly.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you." I said finally.

"Nothing will happen to me, darling." He soothed. "Believe it or not I'm not completely helpless – I am a god."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed and he chuckled.

Thunder boomed outside of the castle, rattling the windows, and I flinched at it and Loki tightened his arms around me.

"Is Thor doing that?" I asked, scowling at the dark windows.

"Probably." Loki replied, annoyance coloring his tone.

My eyes drifted partially closed.

"Have you spoken to him much since you didn't banish him?" I asked, stifling a yawn.

"No, I have not." Loki mused, absentmindedly rubbing my belly with his thumb. "He's only just returning, he was on Midgard with Jane for a time."

A memory tugged at the back of my mind, requesting my attention insistently like an impatient child pulling on my hand.

It was of the dark world; I was staring down at Loki's body, too numb to even cry. I heard mumbling, like someone was talking at the end of a tunnel, but I didn't acknowledge it. Someone knelt next to me and spoke to me, but I couldn't hear them or even tear my eyes off Loki. I felt someone grab my hand, begging for my attention, but after several minutes they gave up.

I felt a light weight settle on my shoulders and someone gave me a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before whoever they were left.

My eyes drifted away from Loki and I glanced down at myself to see that Jane had put her cloak around my shoulders. This, for some reason, snapped me back to reality and I whipped around to check if Jane and Thor had left, which they had, and I urgently grabbed Loki's shoulders, begging him to get up, to breathe, to come back to me.

The memory ended and ebbed away and I blinked.

"I like Jane." I said offhandedly, frowning at the surreal flashback.

"She's … _alright_  as far as Midgardians go I suppose." Loki replied, sounding exhausted.

"You need sleep." I realized. "You have a ton of work to do tomorrow."

Loki shrugged. "I do not need sleep."

"Yes you do." I yawned, but I didn't want to get up because I was tired and comfy in Loki's lap.

I shifted around slightly and rested my head against Loki's chest right above his heart.

Loki chuckled and kissed one of my horns. "You're the one that needs rest darling."

I mumbled in response and he chuckled again.

I dozed off to the comforting lullaby of Loki's breathing and the rain tapping its fingers on the windows and the next morning I woke up alone in Loki's bed in the late afternoon and it was still raining.

I yawned widely and stretched, wincing because my burns still felt completely raw.

I got out of bed and padded lightly into the bathroom.

I gingerly peeled some of the bandages away from my throat and I was shocked to see that my burns hadn't mended whatsoever.

How was that possible? My body could heal broken bones in under an hour and lacerations in minutes, but these burns still insisted upon being here?

I huffed at my reflection. What the hell.

I turned the tap on and dangled my ankle into the cold water, which brought me some relief and I sighed.

I heard the door open and I morphed into shadow and cautiously peered out from behind the wall of the bath.

It was Loki, glancing around the room and squinting and I sighed in relief.

"Hey Lokes." I said casually, stepping out of the bathroom. "What's up?"

"I just came to see if the burns had healed." Loki replied, sauntering over to me and wrapping his arms behind my back.

"Heh heh… yeah about that." I grimaced. "They haven't healed. Like at all."

Loki frowned. "What?"

"Yeah they're still raw and they hurt like hell." I said, biting the inside of my lip.

Loki furrowed his brow. "May I see them?"

I nodded and he scooped me up in his arms and carried me over to the couch and set me down, kneeling in between my legs.

Loki lightly touched the bandages around my throat and they peeled back of their own accord and Loki's expression hardened.

"I don't like this." Loki said in a low growl. "They should be gone, shouldn't they?"

"Yeah but they apparently don't care what they should be doing." I shrugged. "They were probably just really deep; they'll likely be gone in a few days."

Except they weren't.

Over the next three days, if anything, the burns got worse. I didn't feel like leaving Loki's room anymore and I spent most of my time sitting in the freezing cold water of the bath which was the only thing that brought me any relief.

Loki was getting more and more worried about me and if I hadn't been so cross and sick I would have too. I was supposed to be indestructible.

After the fifth day, Loki came into his room to find me passed out on the bathroom floor and he panicked. After he had woken me back up and I unconvincingly told him that I was alright, he swept me up into his arms and told me that he was taking me to a healer.

"Loki what are they going to say when you burst into the infirmary with a monster in your arms?" I asked, only half caring about the answer.

"Don't worry about that darling." He assured me, kissing my forehead. "Everything's going to be alright and so will you. I love you."

Loki began running and green light shimmered over the both of us and Loki was shouting in the voice of a brown haired servant.

"HEY, I NEED A HEALER!" He yelled. "THIS GIRL'S BEEN ATTACKED BY SOMETHING!"

I winced at his outburst and I wasn't even interested when a group of people rushed up to the two of us, jabbering questions at Loki about what had happened to me and their voices started sounding distant and before I knew it I had fainted.


	15. Chapter 15

I started back into consciousness because someone was dabbing my forehead with something.

My eyes snapped open and I instinctively grabbed onto the wrist touching me, ready to devour whoever it was, and the servant girl who had touched me gasped.

“Oh! My goodness, you frightened me! It’s alright Miss; you’re in the healer’s room.”  The girl said, sounding unsure as her big brown eyes flicked to my hand clamped around her wrist. “C-can you let go – that sort of hurts –”

“Valerie!” Someone exclaimed, rushing up to us from the doorway. “Valerie it’s alright; you’re safe here, she isn’t the thing that attacked you!”

I whipped around to see another servant, a tall, familiar-looking one with short black hair and icy blue eyes, reaching his hands out to me and grimacing.

I narrowed my eyes at him, still clutching the girls arm.

“Vey it’s alright.” Loki’s voice murmured into my head. “We’re safe here; you needed more help than I could provide and I had no other choice.”

The servant boy winked, his eyes flashing emerald for an instant.

My jaw worked in irritation at him, but I released the girl’s arm.

The girl laughed, a bit nervously, and inspected her arm.

“Goodness Miss, you’ve got a grip forceful enough to rival Thor himself.” The girl commented. “How are you feeling?”

I glanced back over at her.                                                      

“I feel… better.” I said slowly.

“That’s good.” The girl said brightly. “I wasn’t so sure that you were going to be alright when that other one brought you in – those have got to be the nastiest burns that I’ve ever seen.”

“Mm.” Loki hummed in agreement. “Say love, would you mind leaving us alone for a minute? I need to, ah, _speak_ with Val.”

The healer girl rolled her eyes almost as much as I did, but she got up and left us alone in the little room.

“Valerie?” I asked, smirking.

Loki shrugged innocently, sitting down on my bed.

“I’m sorry my love.” He said softly, his disguise melting away. “I was afraid for you. I couldn’t take care of you anymore; the burns were too severe.”

I pursed my lips in anxiety. “But they _will_ heal?”

“Yes, of course they will.” Loki assured me. “But, unfortunately, they will only heal as fast as a regular Asgardian.”

I sighed and scooted into his lap and his arms automatically moved to wrap around me and I leaned into his chest.

“How long is that going to take?” I grumbled.

“Another week at least.”

I groaned so loudly that Loki shushed me and the healer girl poked her head into the room to see if I was alright.

“I can’t wait that long.” I groaned when the girl was gone.

“I’m afraid that you will have to, darling.” Loki said, planting a kiss on my forehead.

“What am I supposed to do for all that time?” I mumbled.

“Behave yourself, for one thing.” Loki replied and I scoffed and elbowed him in the chest and he chuckled.

“I will visit you as often as I can, but I think that you will largely have to deal with boredom.” Loki sighed tiredly.

I started absentmindedly braiding a strand of his dark onyx hair.

“Has anyone seen that _beast_ since it attacked me?” I asked quietly.

“Neither hide nor hair I’m afraid.” He reported, his thumb rubbing slow circles on my leg. “The entirety of Asgard is hunting for it however, so it won’t be able to hide for long.”

I wasn’t convinced and Loki couldn’t have been either, but I didn’t say anything.

“So you’re calling me Valerie now?” I questioned, changing the subject.

“For the time being.” He affirmed. “And you will have to ask the healer to fetch ‘Lucius’ if you need me.”

“Hm.” I mumbled. “I think I still prefer Loki.”

Loki shrugged absentmindedly.

“How are the festival preparations going?” I yawned.

“Well enough.” Loki replied and I could hear the scowl in his voice. “I’ll be glad when it’s over with.”

“When is it anyway?”

“It begins in two days and lasts five.” He yawned.

I sat up and shifted around to look up at him. He had the beginnings of bruises under his eyes and he was leaning his cheek on one hand as if his head was too heavy to hold up.

“Loki, when was the last time you got some sleep?” I asked, frowning.

“I don’t know.” He said unconcernedly. “What day is it?”

“Friday.”

He stared off at the wall, counting days in his head and then scowled.

“It’s been a little over a week.” He mumbled.

“For the gods’ sake Loki.” I said in exasperation.

He rubbed his eyes and shrugged.

I sighed and sat on my feet and reached up to hold his face.

He closed his eyes and leaned into my hands and I touched my forehead to his.

“You need rest, my love.” I said quietly.

“I _need_ this damned festival to be over with.” He grumbled.

I scowled sympathetically and moved up to him, nudging him to lie down next to me. He did and I pressed my back into him and he yawned.

“I can’t stay long Vey.” Loki mumbled into my hair. “I have far too much to do.”

“You know what I do when I have a long list of responsibilities to attend to?” I asked, my eyes drifting closed.

“Hm?” He mumbled.

“I sleep.”

Loki chuckled and squeezed me tightly.

“I love you Vey.” He purred, kissing one of my horns.

“I love you too.” I mumbled happily.

I drifted off to sleep in Loki’s arms and I slept all day until around evening when the servant girl came to check on me and woke me up.

“Miss?” She asked, poking her head into my room.

I groaned and reached for Loki, but he had gone.

I huffed.

“Miss, how are you feeling?” She asked, slipping into my room and closing the door behind her.

“Fine I suppose.” I said coldly, eyeing her suspiciously in the dark.

The girl laughed and ignited the oil lamp on my bedside table and I blinked and squinted at her.

“Here.” She said, handing me a small glass of a pale, smoky-blue liquid. “It will keep the burns cool.”

I swirled the foggy potion around in the glass. I decided that it probably wasn’t poisoned, so I took a tentative sip of it. It tasted of fresh snow – sharp and icy. I drank little swallows of it and watched the girl. She had tan skin and curly dark brown hair and matching eyes and she pursed her lips and looked politely bored as she stood in my room.

“What is your name?” I asked after a minute.

“Serena.” The girl replied, beaming at me. “If you need anything, just call for me.”

I nodded.

“My name is Ve-Valerie.” I said, quickly correcting myself.

“Well Valerie, do you mind if I check on those burns?” She requested.

I observed her disdainfully. “…I suppose not.”

I sat up on the bed and allowed Serena to kneel in front of me and I held myself very rigidly as she lightly peeled back the bandages from my throat.

“I think they’ve improved some.” Serena said optimistically. “They don’t look as livid anymore.”

I would have to take her word for it until I could get to a mirror.

 Serena gave me a large glass of water to drink as well as some bread and fruit, but I wasn’t hungry so I just drank the water and fell back asleep.

I slept on and off all of the night, dreaming of the horrid beast and waking up shaking and sweating. I much preferred it when I had no dreams at all.

After the third time I woke up gasping and thrashing, I gave in and called for Serena.

“Yes?” She said almost immediately, ducking into my room. “What do you need?”

“I’m having nightmares.” I said in exhaustion, rubbing my eyes. “Is there anything you could give me for that?”

“Yes, I have just the thing.” Serena replied, scurrying out of my room.

I sat on the edge of the bed and tore at my nails, my eyes darting wildly around the room, expecting that _thing_ to materialize in the infirmary.

Serena returned with a potion in a glass and I didn’t even check to be sure that it wasn’t poison before I seized the cup and downed all of it.

“Oh dear, I don’t think I should have given you that; now that I look at you, you seem…” Serena was saying, but her voice warped and my eyes lost focus and I was unconscious before I fell down onto the pillows.

The potion worked to my relief and I didn’t have any more night terrors and when I woke up the next morning, I found that I actually felt somewhat better.

I stretched luxuriously and noticed a crystal vase of large pastel-colored roses and sweet smelling carnations on the bedside table.

I scooted up to touch one of the cream colored petals and I smiled, pleased that Loki had taken the time to bring me flowers, even as busy as he was.

I heard the door creak open and Serena came into my room.

“Aw!” She exclaimed at the sight of the flowers and clasped her hands together. “Lucius brought you flowers! That’s so sweet!”

I grinned. “Yeah. He’s the best to me.”

Serena sighed dreamily.

“I hope I might find someone who will bring me flowers one day.” Serena hummed.

She left after snapping out of her day dream and I plucked one of the pale green roses from the rest and tucked it behind my ear. I lay back on the bed and stared up at the milky ceiling.

I got bored after a while though and I began pacing around the room. This was like being stuck in the dungeons again, but now I was alone. Although… I wasn’t trapped in here; the only limitations I had were those that my injured body posed. I could sneak out if I was careful, couldn’t I?

I padded up to the door and cracked it open. No one appeared to be in the hall.

I scrawled a quick note to Serena, telling her that I went out for a bit of air and I left the room.

I moved silently down the corridor, ducking behind pillars when I heard other people. I wanted to dissolve into smoke and go hunt for Loki, but he was overworked as is and I needed to focus all of my energy on healing.

I wandered aimlessly through the halls and after a while I found myself in a deserted corridor with magnificent stained glass windows.

They seemed to depict long past battles; the one closest to me portrayed Odin and his golden army clashing with the ultramarine-stained frost giants. The glass warped and moved with the pictures so that looking at the glass was like watching a glass blown play and the frost giants fell to Odin’s army. It didn’t show Odin taking Loki.

As I walked, more stories were told that I weren’t familiar with and I enjoyed the multicolored light streaming through the windows and cutting through the stillness of the air. I was watching the colors flow and move on the marble floor when all of a sudden I noticed that no more light was coming in through the windows. I glanced up and froze in my tracks.

This window depicted a great cloud of writhing black smoke engulfing the city and people were fleeing in terror as guards were snuffed out by the massive shadow. At the top of the smoke, laughing maniacally with two gleaming white opals for eyes was me.

I stumbled up to the scene and stared at it in awe. I tore my eyes from the panel and glanced to the next one which showed Odin battling me in the main hall of the castle. Odin was losing; his expression was twisted in pain and he was just managing to stand against my onslaught of darkness. I noticed Queen Frigga in the corner furthest from me, interrogating the she elf that turned me. I noticed that the pouch around my waist that held my heart seemed to glow softly.

The next picture showed a hundred olive-green cloaked Friggas, darting around me and pricking me as I bellowed in rage. I swiped at her, but her clones disappeared too quickly for me to catch. The last panel pictured me kneeling in front of Frigga who was standing tall and proud with my glistering blood-red heart held high in her hand. The red glass that was my heart actually pulsed as I watched it and I touched my chest where my skin had stretched over my heart to realize with a start that it had actually sunk back into my chest. I put a finger on my neck to realize that for the first time in thousands of years, I had a pulse.

I laughed softly and lowered my hand. I shouldn’t have allowed it to return to my chest; it would have been safer if I had just hidden it on Svartalfheim the instant Loki had returned it to me, but I was never good at doing what was safe for me.

I crossed my arms and studied my heart in the picture. I reached up a hand to touch it, but just before my fingers brushed its surface, a voice stopped me.

“I would not touch that if I were you.” A deep voice rumbled and I gasped and whipped around to see Thor standing behind me.

I stammered, expecting him to shout at me, but instead he smiled.

“ _I_ do not actually mind if you do, but my father would be livid if you were to touch one of the few remaining pictures of my mother.”

I closed my mouth and glanced up to the stained glass picture of Frigga.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” I said quietly.

“It is hardly your fault.” Thor rumbled, his bright blue eyes on Frigga as well.

We stood in silence, watching the picture shift around and I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Whatever happened to her?” I asked, nodding to the picture of myself as I glared down at the ground and scowled.

“Verbannen?” He asked.

I nodded.

He frowned a bit and I wondered if he was going to tell me the truth. I was genuinely curious as to what he would say from his perspective.

“My mother summoned her to protect Loki.” He started, looking back to the first panel of the story.  “My mother always had a way of knowing when Loki was going to be in danger and she was determined enough that she summoned a woman as twisted and dangerous as Verbannen if it meant his well-being. Verbannen lived in Loki’s cell for some time until the Kursed attacked us and killed my mother and I needed Loki’s help to seek vengeance on them. I released Loki and Verbannen as a last resort and they helped me as promised until Verbannen caught sight of the Aether when it left Jane. Verbannen couldn’t resist her lust for power so she attacked Malekith and seized the Aether.

“If Malekith had been powerful with the Aether, it was nothing compared to Verbannen’s might once it had taken hold of her. She could have easily laid waste to all of the Nine without the use of the convergence and I thought that she and Loki planned to do just that until I rounded on Loki and saw how alarmed he looked. He ran to Verbannen, but she silenced him and infested the ground with her power. All of Svartalfheim trembled as she displayed her power, but Loki…”

Thor trailed off and frowned in thought.

“Loki ran to Verbannen and embraced her and I suppose that he used magic to calm her down. He held her and asked her to release the Aether, and to my astonishment, she did. I attempted to destroy the Aether and when I failed, Verbannen and I fought the Kursed together while Loki attempted to go after Malekith. Verbannen fought valiantly, but the Kursed caught her and crushed her leg and it was about to end her when Loki threw himself in front of her and I attacked it from behind. Loki ran off with Verbannen and left her with Jane and returned to where I was losing the battle with the Kursed. Loki destroyed the Kursed, but was mortally wounded in the process. If he hadn’t sacrificed himself Verbannen, Jane, I, and all of the Nine would have been destroyed. Loki lay dying in my arms, gasping, and even amidst all of his suffering, he cried out for Verbannen. Loki called her Vey however, and that was all he could say; he was just pleading with no one for her.”

I looked down at the marble floor and tried my best to look as if I hadn’t just been punched in the face.

“Verbannen must have heard him, because regardless of her wounds, she got up and ran across the plain and collapsed at Loki’s side. Loki held her face as he died and he tried to comfort her as he expired. When he did, I howled in loss but Verbannen just sat there and stared at him. Jane and I had to stop Malekith, but Jane didn’t want to leave Verbannen like that and she begged her to come with us, but Verbannen wouldn’t hear us and just sat there, staring at my brother like her entire world had just collapsed. We had to leave them both there and as Jane and I walked, I could hear Verbannen’s screams echoing all around us until we found a portal back to Midgard and left. I returned several days later to try and convince Verbannen to return to Asgard, but she was gone.”

I swallowed to be sure that I would be able to speak clearly.

“Where do you think she went?” I asked quietly.

“Only the gods know.” He replied, downcast. “I would wager that she wanders around the stars, lost now that Loki is gone.”

I nodded. That’s probably what I would have done; that or I would have just laid there and guarded Loki’s body for the rest of eternity.

Realizing that a servant girl would have more questions, I raked my brain for some.

“Do you think that she is truly evil?” I asked.

Thor contemplated that for a moment, watching the glass swirl and twist.

“No.” He said finally. “Verbannen may be power hungry and wicked, but she fought beside me and protected Jane when she was not forced to. And she undoubtedly loved Loki.”

I nodded thoughtfully and Thor turned to really look at me for the first time and frowned.

“Are you the one that was attacked by that beast in the forest?” He inquired, noticing the bandages on my neck.

“Yes.” I said, touching the bandages. “My name is –”

“Valerie!” Serena exclaimed, sprinting down the hall toward us.

I inhaled sharply and grimaced and Thor laughed.

“Valerie where hav–” Serena broke off and her chocolate brown eyes widened when she realized who I was talking to.

“Oh! My lord! I-I’m so sorry–” She apologized profusely.

“It’s alright.” Thor replied, smiling at Serena and making her blush a dark red. “I was just recalling the legend of Verbannen to Valerie.”

“T-that is most kind of you my lord, but, well, Valerie needs rest in order to recover–”

“Ah, I see.” Thor laughed. “I did not realize that you had escaped Valerie. I suppose I should bid you farewell so that neither of you get into trouble.”

I said goodbye to Thor and Serena managed a meek ‘bye’ amidst all of her swooning. Serena returned me to my room, still bright red and dreamy-eyed and I flopped down onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I really wanted to be with Loki, but he was just too damned busy.

I sat up and scooped the vase up and inhaled deeply, flooding my senses with the sweet smell of the large blossoms and I laid back down on the bed and sighed deeply, wishing that Loki and I could just run away from all of this.


	16. Chapter 16

The next day was the start of the festival and I was awoken early in the morning by the sounds of the servants scuttling about and music drifting into my room through the open door.

I groaned and got out of bed just as Serena marched into my room. She seemed to be under a fair amount of stress; her usually perfect curly hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she was only wearing one shoe.

“Valerie?” She asked, squinting at me in irritation. “I only have about a thousand things to do right now, and I _really_ need you to just stay in here today.”

“You look like you need a drink.” I commented and she scowled at me.

“Valerie please, I really can’t afford you wandering off today–”

“Really?” I asked, waving my hand her face went instantly blank and she dropped the glass she was holding. “Because I think that I’ve improved enough to attend the festival, don’t you?”

Serena’s mouth gaped and she nodded distantly.  

I beamed at her. “Thank you Serena. I may see you in a couple of days.”

She nodded again, her eyes glassy, and I swept past her and out of the door.

I stifled laughter as I strolled down the hall, none of the servants giving me a second glance as they scurried past me, chattering rapidly with each other. I would have to do Serena a favor later for sneaking out twice, but I couldn’t help it; I was about to lose my head from boredom.

I ducked behind a pillar and shed my disguise and morphed back into shadow. I rushed up to the ceiling and darted down the halls to Loki’s room.

Unsurprisingly, Loki wasn’t there so I dove into his empty bed and buried my face in the pillows. They still held a bit of his scent, but it was faded like he hadn’t slept in a long while.

I left his room and returned to the ceiling rafters to search for him.

I looked for Loki all day, but I didn’t see him until the evening when I finally found him on one of the balconies, looking more tired and worn than I’d ever seen him.

I materialized as I walked up behind him and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

He tensed up at my touch, but when he realized it was me he relaxed and laced his fingers with mine.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the infirmary, Vey?” He asked.

I scoffed and he turned around to lean his forehead down on mine and he closed his eyes.

I pursed my lips and brushed his hair out of his face and he sighed.

“Celebrations aren’t meant to be such a burden, darling.” I said softly.

He groaned. “To most they aren’t, but I would rather fight a hoard of Kursed than be in charge of this festival.”

I tsked sympathetically. “Well make some general or someone be in charge of it instead. You need to relax.”

Loki shrugged and I frowned at the dark half moons under his eyes. I stood on my toes and kissed them and Loki managed a tired chuckle.

“I mean it Loki.” I insisted. “You need to rest or you’ll end up collapsing and where–”

“My lord.” A servant said breathlessly, running up to the two of us. “Your presence is need–”

The servant froze when he saw the two of us with no disguises whatsoever and he opened his mouth to scream but I silenced him with a wave of my hand and he became as still as stone.

“Shit!” I exclaimed, striding up to the servant and glancing back at Loki.

“I–” I gestured at the servant frantically. “Shit!”

Loki scowled and ambled up to the servant, stretching his hand out to hold it in front of his face. The servant’s eyes glowed a milky green and his head lolled on his shoulders.

“Should we kill him?” I asked softly.

“No, we do not need to.” Loki replied, lowering his hand. “He won’t remember anything.”

The servant nodded vaguely, mouth agape, and turned on his heel to stumble jerkily away.

Loki sighed and pressed his knuckles into his eyes.

I watched him in worry and I heard laughter echo from somewhere down the hall.

“Loki.” I coaxed quietly, taking his hand.

He dropped his other hand from his face and focused on me.

“Let’s get out of here.” I implored him.

He frowned. “What?”

“Let’s,” I shrugged and grinned. “Let’s steal some wine and go hide in the gardens – escape from all of this.”

Loki smirked and sighed.

“Vey I would love nothing more than to run off with you and leave my burdens –”

I grinned broadly and opened my mouth.

“– But Vey, I can’t; I have to stay here and over see the festival. You know that.” Loki finished regretfully.

My face fell. “But Loki –”

“Vey stop asking me.” Loki said tiredly.

My eyes dropped to his chest, somewhat stung.

“Because I don’t think I have the will to keep refusing.” Loki rumbled and I glanced up at him to see that he was smiling.

My lips spread into a grin and I stood on my toes to whisper in his ear. “Run away with me.”

“As you wish.” He whispered back, snaking an arm behind my back and kissing my cheek.

I giggled and grabbed his arm and pulled him through the castle. He hid us as servants and it was easy to slip out amongst all of the chaos in the palace.

I lead him to the maze, deep into my favorite clearing, and I used magic to make the hedges grow up over the entrance so that we wouldn’t be bothered.  I left Loki to sneak back into the castle’s kitchens to discreetly swipe three bottles of wine, a loaf of some sort of cheesy bread, and entire cake, a basket of fruit, and a bottle of some sort of heavy alcohol.

I returned to the clearing, beaming with all of the food I had stolen in my arms and Loki was impressed that I had managed to swipe so much and carry it back here.

We ate under the stars, chatting and laughing, and Loki seemed to recover over the food and he drank an entire bottle of wine in under an hour. The different bottle that I had grabbed apparently held the highest proof of alcohol that one could obtain on Asgard and Loki didn’t let me drink more than a shot of it and even that was enough to reduce me to a giggling idiotic schoolgirl.

Loki was trying really hard not to fall asleep, but he was so exhausted that it didn’t take a lot of coaxing to get him to lie down with his head in my lap and after petting his hair and humming off tune to him for a few minutes, he was out cold.

I giggled to myself and I ran a finger along his jaw, beaming at him. Oh gods I loved him,

I yawned and stared up at the stars. Was it the alcohol or did they seem to sway slowly to some distant music that only they could hear?

This was bliss; for the first time since I caught sight of those godless eyes I felt at ease. I wasn’t afraid that I would turn to see them leering at me out of the corner of my eye or that I would suddenly smell the poison in its skin; Loki was here, and, why was I afraid of some emaciated brute anyway?

I plucked some flowers from the springy grass nearby and I began braiding them into Loki’s ebony hair while he slept.

The braids, in reality, looked messy and uneven, but in my drunken state they looked perfect. I pushed Loki up slightly so that I could shift to lie down and I moved his head onto my belly.

I watched the stars continue their curious little dance, smiling stupidly and humming tunelessly as I stroked Loki’s hair.

I drifted off into a heavy, dreamless sleep, feeling secure under the watchful eyes of the stars.

I was awoken several hours before dawn by Loki’s weight suddenly leaving my belly and I sat up and mumbled a slurred “Whaisit?”

“Nothing darling, go back to sleep.” Loki told me, pushing himself to his feet.

“You’re goin’ back to the castle aren’t you?” I mumbled suspiciously, pouting up at him.

“Yes I am I have to.” He answered tiredly, gazing up to the palace with bruised eyes.

“Loki.” I whined. “Fuck your duties, lie back down.”

Loki smirked half heartedly and shook his head. “Vey I –”

I didn’t let Loki finish his thought, because I leapt to my feet and tackled him, knocking him flat onto his back.

“Oof!” He grunted. “Vey what are you –?”

I grabbed his face and kissed him gently, silencing him. He kissed me back with less enthusiasm and I pulled away from him and held his face in my hands.

“Loki please just sleep.” I beseeched him. “You’re getting sick from all this.”

“Vey,” Loki protested weakly. “I really need to –”

“ _Sleep_.” I said forcefully, willing him to become tired.

His eyes immediately drifted halfway closed and his words became slurred and I smiled.

“Vey are you putting me to sleep?” He managed, squinting at me in vague irritation and I smiled mischievously.

“Shh.” I said, coaxing the consciousness out of him and nudging him to lie on his back. He was too drowsy to object and I lay down on top of him, willing him to be comfortable and giving off sleepy vibes.

“Sleep, lover mine.” I hummed, leaning down to softly kiss his lips.

That did him in and his eyes fell closed and he was asleep.

I smiled, brushing a strand of his hair behind his ear.

Loki was obviously not going to rest while he remained on the grounds and I sighed in frustration. Loki _was_ getting sick; he could have easily fought me seducing him into sleep if he was well.

“What am I going to do with you?” I huffed.

He didn’t answer, but an idea tugged at the back of my mind.

I could easily take him away from the castle, couldn’t I? Just until he got better obviously; I knew I couldn’t keep him to myself forever no matter how much I wanted to.

I nuzzled his neck and sighed.

Where would I take him though? It wasn’t like I had a house I could whisk him away to. The last thing remotely close to a house I had had was an asteroid in between Midgard and Jotunheim that I visited every couple of years. I think it had a couple of heads on pikes jabbed into the surface, but that wasn’t exactly welcoming.

I supposed I could take him to Midgard; they had temporary homes that would be easy to rent for a few days. Although, it may give Loki a heart attack and kill him if he woke up _that_ far from Asgard.

My eyes snapped open with the realization that I _had_ seen temporary homes on Asgard; my mother used to take my sisters and I to a cabin in the mountains once a year in the spring. That would be perfect, wouldn’t it?

I lifted my head, pursing my lips and staring down at Loki. He was flatly unconscious; he wasn’t going to wake up before dawn. I could probably leave him for, like, half an hour right? That thing couldn’t possibly get in here – security was too tight…

Reluctantly, I slipped out of Loki’s arms and rushed out of the gardens in black smoke.

I still remembered where that cabin was after all this time, so it didn’t take me long to find it. I had too many memories of the place and just looking at it made me feel sick to my stomach.

I found the place where you rented cabins from and woke up the manager. I coaxed him into a trance and told him that I was renting the cottage on the lake front – the one furthest from everything and he nodded distantly. I told him I would pay him after a few days and that it wasn’t going to be a problem. He had no objections.

I was smirking to myself when I left and I took off into the woods, headed back to the castle. I was feeling fairly self satisfied until I nearly rammed into some creature that darted out in front of me with no warning, causing me to crash fantastically into a tree and snap it completely in half.

I shot into the ground, gouging a large rut into it and I heard the creature yowl in surprise and gallop away.

I groaned and pushed the tree off of me and sat up. My left wrist was twisted grossly and white blood was dripping down my face from a large cut above my right eyebrow.

“Ugh god, that’s just bRILLIANT ISN’T IT!?” I shouted at the forest.

The forest didn’t shout back and I got to my feet and glared at my wrist. I grabbed it and hissed as I twisted it back where it was supposed to be and I flopped back onto the ground and screamed every foul word that I could think of.

I really wanted to just lie there, wallowing in self pity, but I needed to get back to Loki before he woke up.

I started through the woods again, being watchful of other stupid things wandering around in the woods. I was nearly back to the city limits when I caught the faintest scent of something horrifically familiar and putridly acidic.

I instantly froze in my tracks to be sure I was right.

I scaled the nearest tree, my heart pounding so loudly that I wanted to rip it out and bury it.

Nothing moved in the forest and the poisonous smell didn't get any closer.

I swallowed and tried to make my hands stop shaking. The smell was somewhat far off still and I knew that I had to go looking for it or I would be completely terrified that it was hunting me.

Careful to be quieter than death, I teleported between the tree tops, scanning for that beast and trying to figure out what the hell I would do if I found it.

After the smell got so strong that I thought I was going to be sick, I spotted it and had to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep from gasping; the thing was at the very edge of the forest, lumbering back and forth and staring down into the dormant city.

The thing was definitely bigger than the Kursed had been and now that I looked at it I noticed that it had four scrawny arms, two of which were tucked against its chest and it had an enormous mouth with sharp teeth sticking out at odd angles and it didn’t have a nose, just two slits. It looked like a black leather covered skeleton.

I stared, horror-struck at it, and the beast hissed to itself.

It ambled up to the tree line and stretched its taloned hands out, but it pulled them back and spit angrily and stumbled back several feet from the clearing as if it couldn't go past them and continued to pace and glare hungrily down into the city.

Oh my gods _… it was trying to get into the city to go after me._

I didn’t know what was keeping it out; there must have been some kind of barrier around the city that it couldn’t get through, but no spells could keep that _thing_ at bay forever.

I eased back from it, praying to every god I could think of that it wouldn't hear me and after I was at least five hundred feet away from it, I fled for my life.


	17. Chapter 17

I sped through the city and shot into the palace gardens and collapsed next to a still-sleeping Loki on the grass.

So now that thing was watching the city. Perfect. That’s exactly what I needed to be happening right now.

I was feeling like the bandages around my neck were choking me so I ripped them off and coughed, curling up into a ball.

After a few minutes my heart quit trying to burst out of my chest and I sighed. I hated the thought of that repugnant thing staring down into the city. It was all the more reason to leave it if I could get past it without alerting it.

Dawn had nearly broken and milky pink light was starting to drift lazily across the sky. It was now or never.

I checked to make sure that Loki was still sleeping heavily because I knew how ill he got when I dragged him around like this and I took him from the gardens, rushing out of the castle and through the city _very_ far north from where I saw that creature lurking, just to be safe. Excitement replaced my worry, fluttering around in my chest like an anxious little bird.

The wooden cottage was glistening in the cool morning light, rainwater dripped from the eaves and from the pine needles of the trees. I smiled to myself as I opened the door to the cabin; this was going to be perfect for Loki.

The cabin was warm and cozy; there was an overstuffed cream couch in front of a large mantle and a wrought iron chandelier hung in the middle of the ceiling. Large armchairs covered in blankets sat under the wide windows to the right of the room and a dining table sat in front left of the room and a full kitchen with a slightly lower ceiling took up the left of the room behind it. A short hallway lead to a large bedroom with a fluffy feather bed with powder blue curtains hanging in front of the window looking back into the woods.

I gently put Loki down on the couch and I kissed his forehead.                          

I settled down on top of him and curled up on his chest and flicked my wrist to make a fire spring up in the grate. I knew Loki was going to be pissed when he woke up, but I would just have to deal with that. Loki needed a break dammit and if he wouldn’t take one himself, I would just have to convince him to. He couldn’t stay mad at me for worrying about his health.

Loki woke up late in the morning, groaning and stretching under me and putting his hands on my hips.

“Good morning Loki.” I purred, pecking him on the lips. “Did you sleep well?”

His eyes drifted open to watch me sleepily and he frowned.

“Where are we?” He asked, his voice deep and quiet from sleep.

I laughed sheepishly and grinned at him and he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Uh, just so you know Loki, what I do to you I do out of love –”

I broke off as Loki lifted me and got up and put me back down on the couch. His eyebrows rose and he glanced in between me and the window disbelievingly.

“Vey did you _kidnap_ me?” He asked incredulously.

I scoffed and rested my chin on my hand. “Well when you say it like _that_ it sounds creepy –”

Loki’s jaw worked in annoyance at me and his head whipped around to glare out of the window.

“Vey, really, where are we?” He demanded.

My lip twitched at his tone but I answered. “We’re in the mountains. _Asgard’s_ mountains, so don’t give yourself a stroke –”

Loki groaned and pressed his knuckles into his eyes.

“Vey I realize that I haven’t been paying a lot of attention to you lately, but I’ve just been so busy –”

My eyes widened in surprise and I laughed involuntarily. “You honestly think that I’d do something this drastic because you _aren’t paying attention to me_?”

Loki faltered, looking at me uncertainly.

“Babe, I did this because you’re making yourself sick and I’m worried about you.” I said, scowling at him.

Loki blinked and opened his mouth to say something, but his eyes drifted up to the ceiling like he hadn’t comprehended what I said and no words came out.

I rolled my eyes and lay back on the couch.

“You’re such an idiot.” I mumbled at the ceiling.

“I – Vey I’m flattered that you’re concerned about me, but honestly I’m fine.”

I sat up and scrutinized him. He still had dark crescents under his eyes and he looked gaunt from stress and illness.

“Have you even seen yourself lately? You’re not exactly a picture of glowing health.”

Loki sneered. “Vey I am a _god_ ; I know how to take care of myself.”

“Really? I’m not convinced of that.” I argued.

Loki rolled his eyes, heading to the door. “Enough of this, Vey. I need to return to the castle.”

I appeared right in front of him, crossing my arms.

“Vey for the gods’ sake.” Loki snapped at me irritably, trying to get around me.

I blocked his way again and he tried several times to get around me and he gave me a look that would have had anyone else running in the opposite direction.

“Vey you’re being ridiculous.” Loki stated, towering over me and leaning over me threateningly.

“At least I _know_ when I’m being impossible.” I retorted.

Loki rolled his eyes and sighed, glowering down at me and I stared evenly back.

Loki suddenly shoved right through me, pushing past me and marching to the door.

I appeared in the doorway as he reached for the handle, standing firmly with my feet planted on both sides of the frame and I stared defiantly up at him.

“You are getting on my last thin and frayed nerve, _darling_.” Loki growled down at me.

I stuck my chin up and crossed my arms.

The faintest ghost of a smirk flitted across his face as if he was just the slightest bit amused by my stubbornness.

Loki’s hand shot between my legs and he forcefully pulled me up and I gasped and grabbed his shoulders to ease the pressure but he dragged me across the room and threw me down onto the couch in an instant.

I opened my mouth to snap at him, but he roughly took my mouth in his and pressed his weight down into me.

One of his hands snaked under the small of my back and he lifted my hips up into his, urging me to react, to crave him.

I was a bit surprised, but I wrapped my legs around his hips and threw an arm around his neck and his lips parted and his tongue traced my lip. I bit his bottom lip and his breath hitched and his fingers dug hungrily into my ass. He balled my hair in his fist and pulled, just hard enough that my head was tilted back and he dragged his teeth down my jaw and began biting and sucking on my neck, not being careful of my burns.

I grinned jaggedly up at the ceiling and raked my fingers through his hair, pulling a bit harder than I needed to. Loki’s breathing became more ragged as he dragged his hands up my legs and his thumbs pressed into the inside of my thighs hard enough that I knew it would leave bruises. I yanked his face back up to mine and I kissed him passionately and moved to suck hard on his neck and he pressed his hips down into me and moaned softly.

I began tugging at his armor, wanting it off of him. I never had a prayer of prying it off of him while I was plastered, but now that I was sober…

I willed the leather of his shirt to loosen and the straps to give and I slid my hand up his armor to drag my nails up his belly, savoring the shivers it sent up his spine.

Suddenly Loki’s weight was gone and I blinked in surprise.

“Loki what are you –” I broke off when I realized that the door was standing wide open and Loki had literally gotten up and ran out of the house.

 “LOKI YOU LITTLE SHIT!” I bellowed, morphing into shadow and tearing out of the cabin after him.

It took me about three seconds to catch up to him, but as I materialized to sprint after him, I slowed down and stopped.

…Did I _really_ want to spend all of my time chasing down Loki and dragging him back here?

I watched him sprint through the woods and out of sight without pursuing him, my stomach twisting unpleasantly.

Fine then. If it was so _sickening_ to be here with me instead of slaving his ass of in the palace, then who was I to keep him _prisoner_ here?

I whipped around and stalked back through the woods to the cabin. As I burst in the door, the curtains snapped shut and all of the candles and the fire were blown out.

I sat there and glared hatefully into the dark fireplace for several hours, not moving, not crying, not even thinking.

I wasn’t the slightest bit interested when a soft knock on the door interrupted the pressing silence around evening. I heard the door handle turn as someone entered the cabin and I heard it click shut behind them.

I figured it was the guy I had rented the cabin from, but why had he just barged in?

“Hey Vey.” I heard Loki’s voice say, walking across the room next to the couch. “Why’s it so dark in here?”

I shrugged and a fire bloomed to life in the mantle and Loki sat down next to me.

I could see him watching me out of the corner of my eye but I continued staring at the back of wall of the fireplace, refusing to look at him.

“You’re upset with me, aren’t you?” Loki asked quietly.

My eyes flickered to him in irritation and he nodded slowly, and his eyes drifted to the fire.

“Are you hungry?” He asked after a minute.

I ignored him but he probably figured I was and he got up and walked into the kitchen. The candles dotted around the room flickered to life and I heard Loki rummaging around in the cupboards.

I caught the aroma of some sort of meat cooking and my stomach growled. Dammit, I wasn’t going to be able to stay angry at him if I wanted the food he was making…

I heard Loki take something out of the oven and the mouth watering scent of fresh baked bread wafted over to me and I couldn’t be still anymore.

I appeared on one of the counters, eyeing the hot loaf of bread and Loki smiled at me out of the corner of his eye.

He paused in his cooking and sauntered up to me and stood between my knees. I was as tall as he was because of the counter I was sitting on and his tired green eyes darted between mine apologetically. He was literally giving me puppy eyes.

I felt a smile tug on my lips and I crossed my arms and huffed.

“You’re lucky that I can’t stay mad at you when there’s food involved.” I mumbled.

Loki grinned and leaned forward to peck me on the cheek. I let him but I didn’t return it and he went back to cooking.

I was getting hungrier the longer I watched him cook and I was starting to get impatient. I tore off a hunk of bread and pulled it into smaller bits, watching Loki work. I stuffed the rest of it into my mouth and hopped off the counter. I melted into smoke and wrapped around Loki, putting my chin on his shoulder.

“Why’s this taking so long?” I huffed.

“Perfection takes time, darling.” He replied.

I exhaled impatiently.”Well make it take less time or I’ll end up eating you.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for that after dinner, love.” He replied coolly and I smirked.

I detached myself from him, materializing behind him and eyed him over.

I was torn. I wanted to go lie on the couch and brood at the same time that I wanted to grab Loki’s beautifully sculpted ass and bite him all over.

Displaying an amazing amount of willpower, I sauntered back over to the couch and curled up on it. I threw smoke into the fire and it turned a bright ghostly blue. I frowned at it; for some reason the bluebell fire made me feel sick and anxious and worried all at the same time. I flicked my hand and the flames melted into a warm pastel pink.

Much better.

After a few minutes Loki announced that the food was ready and I got up off of the couch and saw him pouring wine into two glasses.

I sat down at the table and crossed my legs. I accepted the glass of wine from Loki and tapped on it with my long fingernails and squinted at him.

He sat across from me and reached for a slice of bread but paused when he saw me looking at him.

“What?” He asked, looking worried like I didn’t like the food or something.

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to stay angry at you?” I asked, taking a drink of wine.

Loki ginned in relief and took some bread.

It was extremely hard for me to eat like a civilized creature because of how hungry I was and, as it turned out, Loki was an amazing cook. The steak he made was nearly raw and I had to force myself not to swallow the entire thing whole, it was so delicious.

I warmed up to Loki after several glasses of wine and after I was done eating he got up and led me outside.

The sun had set and a full moon had risen, casting a white reflection on the lake’s rippling surface. I breathed in the autumn air and sighed, closing my eyes. I liked the palace and all, but the air was so untainted up in the mountains that I could pick up everything, the smell of the rich soil and the rotting of the leaves and the scent of the blood of some kind of deer timidly wandering around in the forest behind our cabin and the lingering smell of the morning’s rain.

My eyes snapped open when I heard something thump against the ground and I realized that it was Loki’s shirt that he had tossed aside.

“Loki what are you doing?” I asked in surprise as he took most of his clothes off and wadded into the lake.

“Well since I’m on a bit of a forced vacation I figured I might as well enjoy myself.” He answered, turning around to beam at me. “Won’t you join me darling?”

“I… uh… can’t swim.” I mumbled, crossing my arms.

“What was that?”

I sighed loudly.

“I can’t freakin’ swim Loki.” I repeated loudly.

“Really?” He asked, standing up in the waist high water.

“Yeah, Gwen couldn’t swim and she was the only one with enough patience to teach me anything.” I said, eyeing the lake suspiciously.

“Well I won’t let you drown, darling.” Loki said, nodding to the water invitingly.

I pursed my lips, unconvinced and shook my head.

“Aw come on Vey. You’re not scared of the bathtub –”

I laughed loudly. “I’m not _scared_ of that lake!”

“Well get in here then!” Loki chuckled. “It’s nice.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s late autumn that water has got to be –”

Loki suddenly let out a startled shout and his head ducked underwater like someone had yanked on his legs and dragged him under.

“L- Loki?” I asked, stepping toward the water.

Panic punched me in the stomach and I sprinted to the lake and splashed ungracefully into the water where I had seen him.

“Loki?!” I shouted, whipping around and searching the water for him. “L –”

I broke off into a high pitched scream as something burst out of the water and wrapped around me and I was lifted up out of the water. I felt a large wet kiss on my cheek and realized that it was Loki’s arms wrapped around me and not the tentacles of some horrid monster of the deep.

“LOKI YOU SHIT!” I screeched, elbowing him hard in the chest and he laughed in my ear and squeezed me.

“Oh my god.” I huffed at him. “Don’t! Scare! Me! Like! That!” I demanded, smacking him in the chest with every word I said.

He grinned and attempted to kiss my cheek, but I dodged it and he ended up kissing my collarbone.

I grabbed his face and held it away from me and he laughed through my fingers.

“You are _blessed_ that I love you enough to dive into a fish filled pond of horrors for you, you know.” I said to Loki, glancing around suspiciously at the water. “Which is _freezing,_ by the way.”

Loki rolled his eyes and started to put me down.

“No no no, don’t put me down! What if something bites me?” I protested, using him to lift most of myself out of the water.

Loki wrapped his arms under my butt to help me and I glanced at him, pursing my lips and looking unamused.

“Darling there’s nothing in this lake, not even fish; it isn’t a natural lake.” Loki said, leaning his forehead on mine.

“Yeah, well, there’s _water_.” I mumbled.

“This water can’t hurt you, I promise.” He soothed.

I narrowed my eyes at him and he smirked.

“I don’t see what all of the fuss is about.” He drawled, wading into deeper water.

“Loki!” I warned, clinging onto his shoulders and pulling himself further up on him.

“You’re already in, what’s the big deal?”

I hissed as the cool water swallowed me up to my ribcage and Loki chuckled.

“Think about something other than the water, Vey.” Loki said, tilting his head back to look up at the sky.

“Oh.” He said softly.

I glanced up into the sky to see that even though it was night, it was not dark; trillions of little pinpricks of white light dotted the sky, trillions of worlds and trillions of planets of fire casting a glow on the two of us. Bands of pink and orange stardust streaked across the sky like a painting that some immensely large being was thoughtfully working on.

“You can never see this many stars from the castle.” Loki said quietly, his green eyes filled with starlight.

Silence wrapped around us and the only sound was that of the water gently lapping at the shore.

“You know, we’re not really looking _up_ at the stars.” I said, my eyes darting around the dots. “We’re staring down into the infinite void of space, just safe from it on this little speck.”

“I know.” He breathed, his eyes glazing over. “I have seen what the void has to offer.”

I blinked and my eyes flitted to Loki. He had that undone, disturbed look about him again and I realized it was the face of someone who had been in darkness so long that they had forgotten what the light felt like, someone who damn well knew what the godless pits of the cosmos held, hidden to all but a few.

And there was that question pricking at the back of my mind again; what had happened to Loki after he fell from the Bifrost?

I couldn’t ask him that though, not while he was supposed to be at peace and away from the stress that had been thrust upon him.

His face was still tilted up to the stars; his eyes focused on nothing, so I gently kissed his throat and leaned my head on his shoulder. He sighed softly and wrapped his arms around me.

Without warning, he leaned back and I hissed in protest as he let the water catch him with a splash and I propped myself up on his chest to avoid letting the lake touch me as much as I could.

Loki chuckled at my reaction.

“It’s okay Vey; I put a charm on us so that both of us will float.”

“Yech.” I huffed, sitting on Loki’s hips and eyeing the lake disdainfully.

Loki and I drifted around the lake for an hour or so and I lay down on his chest and tried my best to touch his skin and not the gaping lake water that seemed desperate to swallow me up. Loki pointed out constellations and told me about the old warriors and kings and queens they were named after and he tried several times to dump me into the lake until he succeeded, which made me sopping wet and angry as hell so I hauled him up out of the water and threw him a good fifteen feet.

“An admirable throw, Vey.” Loki called, laughing. “A bit curved to the right, but it had plenty of power behind it.”

I was too busy treading water and trying not to let the lake suck me in to retort.

“L-Loki!” I called in distress, my mouth bobbing just above the water. “Loki I’m drowning! Lo – oh god there’s lake water in my mouth – LOKI!”

I heard Loki guffaw and he padded over to me and he was able to stand on the lake bed with his shoulders and his head above the surface and I instantly splashed over to him and clung onto him and used him to lift myself out of the water.

“Whew.” I sighed in relief. “I, uh, I didn’t think that through very well when I threw you across the lake.” I told him as he wrapped his arms behind my back.

I looked up into his eyes and scrunched my nose. “And now my hair smells like lake sludge.”

Loki grinned and kissed the tip of my nose and I smirked in spite of myself.

“Say darling, would you like to go back into the cabin and take a bath in warm, shallow, not-lake water?” Loki asked, smirking.

“Well if you insist.” I said, shrugging.

Loki laughed and carried me back into the cabin and I sat wrapped up in a towel in front of the fire as he got the bath ready.

The bath was much smaller than the one in Loki’s room in the castle, but there was still plenty of room for Loki and I to sit comfortably in. After all, this was a rather romantic cabin so there had to be enough room for two people in the bath.

Loki was already sitting in the tub that was full of bubble gum pink foam up to his chest. Iridescent pink bubbles floated all around the room and I giggled as one bumped into my nose and popped.

I settled into the water and more bubbles floated up as I disturbed the foam.

“Ugh.” I groaned contently, leaning back to rest my head on the back of the tub. “This is much more preferable than being in that cold lake.”

“Yes I suppose that being covered in brightly pink and strongly strawberry scented film is far better than anything nature has to offer.” Loki teased.

I scowled at him and he laughed. I noticed a little white flower twisted into this hair and I sat up and chuckled.

“What?” Loki frowned.

I plucked one of the daises from his hair and smirked. One of Loki’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“How are there little flowers in my hair?” He asked incredulously.

“I put them there when you were asleep last night.” I laughed, touching his tangled hair. “Gods, your hair is a mess; come sit in front of me, I need to fix this.”

Loki shifted to sit in front of me and I detangled his hair and he leaned back on my knees and closed his eyes. I spent the next half an hour pampering Loki, washing his hair and massaging his shoulders and gently kissing him.

After Loki’s hair was clean I shifted to the opposite side on the tub so I could submerge myself in the warm water and get rid of every trace that I was ever in that foul lake. I scrubbed my hair and my horns and basically tried my best to cover every inch of myself in pink bubbles because I liked the way they smelled.

Loki laughed at me for doing this and he got a face full of pink foam as a result.

“Oh, Loki! I just remembered something.” I said as he wiped the foam off of his face.

“Is it a reason to throw more pink matter onto my face?”

“No.” I chuckled, scooting close to him.

I took his hand and brought his fingertips to my throat. His right eyebrow raised in question, but his eyes widened when he felt the pulse of blood under my skin.

“Vey…” He said softly. “How…?”

“I hid it in my chest when I went to Midgard.” I shrugged. “It was just under my skin at first, but I forgot about it and it just kinda sunk back into my chest.”

“And you’re feeling alright?” He worried, caressing my throat and glancing down at where his fingertips touched my skin. “No adverse side effects?”

I shook my head. “No, not really. I’ve been giving off a lot of heat though, here, touch me I’m like a furnace.”

Loki and I got out of the bathtub after a while and we curled up in the large feather bed together.

Loki was interested that I had a heartbeat now and he put his head on my chest and listened to it until he fell asleep which took approximately five minutes.

As tired as I was, sleep refused me. I stared up at the ceiling and stroked Loki’s hair and tried to keep my heart rate down as I thought about that beast roaming out in the woods. I supposed that it didn’t know we were here; otherwise it would have tried to kill us. A comforting thought.

I desperately wanted to get up and hunt for it; just so that I knew it was still there. I couldn’t stand being so helpless while that noxious beast could be lurking just outside of the cabin. Was this how rabbits felt when they were being hunted by foxes?

I was too twitchy and frightened to sleep so I wiggled out from under Loki and padded silently out of the room.

I slipped out of the door and stood still, tasting the air for any trace of acid, but there was none; just the smell of the old forest and the dying summer. I paced around the cabin, muttering old words of protection and safety and alertness. That would be enough to give me a warning if it appeared and that was all I would need. I _would not_ allow that thing get near Loki.

I slipped back into our room to see that Loki was sitting up, blinking sleepily at me.

“Vey?” He yawned. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, love.” I assured him, climbing into bed and wrapping my arms around him. “Go back to sleep.”

Loki mumbled vaguely and pulled the blankets up around me and fell asleep, holding me close to him and I smiled, finally falling asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get yourself ready for some smut boy howdy

I woke up to the sound of steady rain tapping on the windows and I opened my eyes and blinked several times.

Dreary morning light bled through the thick clouds and into our room.

I sat up to realize that Loki wasn’t lying next to me and I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

I padded into the main room and saw Loki lounging on the couch and eating pomegranate seeds, his nose buried in a book.

“Hey Loki.” I mumbled, nudging his legs apart so that I could sit in between them and recline on his belly.

“Good morning, dove.” He purred, wrapping an arm around me and kissing my cheek. I peered into the book he was reading. Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t make sense of it.

“What are you reading?” I asked in lax curiosity.

“A record of battles fought and creatures captured a long time ago. I’m trying to find that creature that attacked you, but I haven’t been successful so far.” He replied.

“Hm.” I hummed. “Read it to me.”

“It’s rather dry, Vey.”

“I don’t care. I don’t listen to what you say most of the time anyway, I just like the sound of your voice.”

Loki chuckled and probably rolled his eyes, but he began reading to me.

It _was_ a dry book; the gore from the battles wasn’t described at all and I would have fallen asleep if I had been reading it myself, but in Loki’s soft husky voice I could have listened to an entire library about it. After a while of listening to him I got up and paced slowly around the room, running my fingers over the worn cherry wood of the furniture.

I settled in one of the armchairs in front of the window and watched the rain stream down the glass.

Loki joined me after a while and put a chess board with ivory and crystal pieces on the little table between our chairs.

Gwen had taught me how to play chess when I was young and I had quickly surpassed her in skill. In fact, I had been so good at chess that I could beat any of my sisters, but they had all been sore losers and only played me once. I had even beaten my mother once, but she got angry and hit me for playing a stupid game and not focusing on my studies. I didn’t play chess with anyone except for Gwen after that.

I supposed that Loki didn’t expect me to be so good at chess and I beat him the first round. And the second. And the third.

He spent a lot of time frowning at the board with this fingertips together the fourth time, determined to defeat me.

I liked the way he looked when he was pensive, the way he touched his fingers to his lips and the way he frowned with his eyebrows.

It took him nearly fifteen minutes to move a piece on the board and I was more interested in looking at him than I was in the game, but I could tell that he wanted to finish this.

Without looking down at the board, I slid one of my pawns two spaces forward.

Loki’s focused emerald eyes stared hungrily at the piece and I crossed my legs and rested my chin on my hand. An hour and a half passed with no sound but the rain drumming on the glass as we played and I made a point to watch him instead of the board and I rubbed my foot up his leg to distract him.

He seemed dead set on finishing this game though, and I felt a little bad for him; it couldn’t have been easy for him to focus, but I didn’t feel quite guilty enough to stop teasing him.

Eventually, two of my bishops and my queen put Loki’s king in check.

“Checkmate.” I said quietly, breaking the long silence and watching Loki in satisfaction.

He stared at his ivory king knocked onto its side as if he could make it stand back up if he glared at it hard enough.

His emerald eyes flicked up to mine and he looked at me like he was staring into my core and I had to stop myself from shivering. I watched him back, eyes half lidded and a twisted smile tugged on my lips.

I laughed softly and stood up.

“Don’t look so bitter, darling.” I grinned, swaying my hips as I strode slowly over to Loki.

I leaned down to grip one arm of his chair and I kissed the corner of his jaw. He sighed softly and leaned into my kiss.

Thunder rumbled outside.

I leaned away from Loki to look out of the window. The sky was slate gray now and the rain had picked up, making the window look like a horizontal river.

Loki stood up and wrapped his arms around me and leaned his head down on mine. I made my horns melt into smoke so that they wouldn’t poke him and he pressed his cheek into the side of my head.

I turned around and snaked one arm behind his neck and buried my face in his chest. I noticed slow music drifting up from somewhere in the room.

I moved to kiss Loki’s neck, my free hand moving down Loki’s belly and I bit down a little at the same time that my and found the bulge in his leather pants.

He inhaled sharply and pulled my hips closer to him. I put more love bites on Loki’s neck and his hand dragged up my spine and I shivered and my nails dug into the leather of his armor. He chuckled softly and bent down to pick me up and wrap my legs around his hips as I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply.

He carried me over to the couch and gently laid me down and got on top of me and kissed me like I was something _blessed_.

I dragged my hands up his legs and pressed in on his inner thighs where I knew he was sensitive and he stopped kissing me and exhaled heavily before moving to plant wet kisses all over my neck. My burns had mostly healed by now, so it didn’t hurt but Loki was still careful to mostly kiss all over my collarbones.

I grabbed his crotch again and Loki paused to look up at me, his right eyebrow raised in question.

I looked up at him, his hair already a mess and his emerald eyes unsure but already heavy from lust.

“We can move to the bed if you’d rather.” I whispered, tugging on his hair.

Loki smiled wickedly like nothing would please him more and I nudged him up and lead him quickly into our room.

He closed the door behind us and his hooded eyes grazed over me hungrily. My heart was thumping almost uncomfortably in my chest as he stalked up to me, smirking, but I had wanted this for far too long to be shy now.

I grabbed the collar of his armor and pulled him toward me and kissed him deeply and he lifted me up and knelt onto the bed, setting me down on my back. He got on top of me again and began kissing me all over, his hips slowly grinding into mine, pressing the bulge in his pants into my sex.

I smirked and bit his lower lip. His hands pressed into my hips, into the leather of the pants I was wearing and I cursed myself for choosing _today_ of all days to wear leather.

I felt his fingers brush my skin and I realized that he was making my pants disappear, melting off of me and dissipating back into shadow.

I wanted to be on top so I flipped him over on the bed and straddled him, grinning mischievously and dragging my hands up his belly. He narrowed his eyes and smirked wickedly back, dragging his fingertips up my bare legs. Using magic I pried his armor open, exposing his alabaster chest and the trail of black hair starting under his belly button.

I kissed him passionately, raking my fingers through his soft hair and his hands dragged up my back to slip under the cloth of my shirt, lifting it up over my head. I moved to bite Loki’s neck and he moaned softly and traced his hands up my sides, making my stomach squirm in anticipation. Under my hips I could feel how eager Loki was getting too.

Loki inhaled sharply and flipped me onto my back, his hands digging roughly into my thighs as he pushed his hips into me and his lips brushed my ear.

“Darling.” He growled, lust dripping from his voice. “I need you. I need to bury myself within your delicious body and hear your sweet voice begging for me in unbridled lust – and –”

He broke off and let out a deep guttural moan and I couldn’t deny myself any longer.

My hands scratched the leather of his pants and it obediently disappeared from his skin and his hand moved to rip the remaining cloth from my hips.

He rested his forehead on my shoulder, his ragged breath cooling the skin on my collarbone and he positioned the head of his cock against my entrance, already dripping and hot.

“Are you ready, darling?” He breathed heavily.

“God, yes.” I moaned, grabbing a fist full of his hair.

Loki pushed into me and I gasped and balled his hair in my fist and he moaned, pulling put and thrusting back into me and making me whimper. Loki hissed and gripped my hips hard enough that I knew it would leave bruises. Loki’s cock was big enough that I could feel myself stretching around him every time he thrust into me, but I was so wet and hot that he filled me up easily.

“Oh god.” I panted, partially smirking. “God Loki _yes_.”

Loki let out a feral groan and moved to grip the headboard to thrust into my harder and I moaned loudly as he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

“Yes, yes, _yes_!” I squealed, balling the sheets in my fists. “Right there – oh _god yes_ –”

“Ah _fuck_!” He hissed through his teeth as his hips snapped into me. “ _Fuck_ darling, I –”

He broke off and moaned and his entire body shivered and the heat that was steadily building in my lower stomach spiked and I gasped.

Loki suddenly pulled out and held himself above me. His emerald eyes were wide and his raven hair was tangled, making him look like an animal and I grabbed his face and kissed him roughly.

Loki lifted my lower back up and slid a pillow under me and bit into my neck and planted a hand between my hips to hold me down. He buried himself in me, hitting my core because more of me was open to him and I shouted loudly and dug my nails into his shoulders.

I panted his name over and over as he pounded into me, pushing me closer and closer to my climax. Loki moaned and howled as he pushed himself into me, occasionally whispering filthy things in my ear.

“Harder.” I begged, my back arching into him. “Please…!”

Loki chuckled darkly in my ear and began going slower instead, bringing himself completely out and back in, slowly and fantastically, making sure that I was brought _right_ to the edge with him.

I started mewling unrestrainedly, begging for the release that was so close.

I gripped both of his wrists and growled into his ear. “Loki I need you to fuck me hard and thorough.”

“What was that?” He panted. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“LOKI FUCK! ME! NOW!” I screamed.

He obliged, thrusting into me and my eyes rolled and I dug my nails into his back as my orgasm took me and I moaned loudly in ecstasy.

Loki roared as his seed pumped into me and his entire body shook with his release.

He stayed buried in me for a second, his eyelids fluttering and his mouth wide open as the remnants of my climax washed over me.

He pulled out and collapsed on top of me, his face in my chest and I closed my eyes and let out a small moan.

We were both too exhausted to move much, but after a while I began stroking his hair and he stirred weakly. He lifted his head, looking at me like I was the only thing in the entire world that mattered and I smiled at him.

He moved to lie down next to me and I rolled over to hug his chest, snuggling up to him and letting my eyes drift closed.

“I love you.” Loki’s raspy voice uttered , barely over the sound of the rain.

“I love you too.” I hummed.

I fell asleep curled up to his chest and woke up a few hours later, to the dark of evening and the distant thunder. Loki had gotten out of bed.

I stumbled out of the soft bed and groaned, feeling every little love bite and bruise he had given me, but I was pleased that I was so sore.

I found his shirt that he wore under his armor on the floor to wear and pulled my underwear back on and shuffled out of our room.

I immediately headed for the kitchen and ate as much bread and meat as I could to satisfy my ravenous hunger. I padded over to the couch where Loki was, reading yet another book that he had managed to find, lying with one arm behind his head.He had put his brown leather pants back on but not his armor.

“Where are you managing to find those?” I mumbled, settling down to lie on top of him.

“I brought them from the castle.” Loki replied, shifting to rest one hand on my belly.

“Mm.” I mumbled, watching the firelight dance on the ceiling. “Are you still trying to figure out what that beast is?”

“What?” Loki asked distractedly. “Oh, no. This is something else.”

I frowned at the ceiling. That was a bit odd.

I was too sleepy to pursue the thought and I closed my eyes, listening to the rain chattering and the fire cracking. Loki’s thumb absentmindedly rubbed circles on my belly.

“Are you sore anywhere, my love?” He asked after a while.

I smirked. “I’m sore everywhere.”

Loki chuckled. “I can give you something for it when we return to the castle.”

I opened my eyes. “When will that be?”

Loki was quiet for a minute. “…I would like to return tomorrow if possible. I most assuredly do not desire to, but it would be unwise for me to be gone for very long.”

I pursed my lips and sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. We can go back tomorrow if you want to.”

I felt Loki relax under me.

“So are you sore anywhere?” I asked.

“I feel fantastic, except for the claw marks that you so lovingly placed on my back.”

I hissed sympathetically and looked at my nails, black and pointed.

“I’m sorry, love.” I cooed. “The next time we make love, I’ll be careful not to mar your skin.”

“Why would I want that?” Loki asked, moving to put his book down and wrap both arms around me. “These marks are proof that I belong to you.”

I giggled and he pulled me up to kiss my cheek and I kissed him back, happier than I had ever been in my entire life.

The next morning I was awoken by Loki, who was trying to make me get up so that he could get up. I mumbled in protest and gripped the couch so that Loki couldn’t make me get up and he sighed at me.

He eventually coaxed me up by telling me that we both needed a bath and I could sleep in there if I really wanted and I yawned and slid off of him.

I followed him into the bath and brushed my tangled hair as the water ran. I took Loki’s shirt off and now noticed the white bruises I had all over my chest and my neck.

I smirked at my reflection, pleased that Loki had left marks on me too.

Loki hadn’t been kidding when he said I had scratched him; when we got in the bath I saw long red lines up and down his back and several blue and purple bruises on his neck and chest, which Loki seemed to be rather proud of.

After we were both clean and dressed and fed, we got ready to leave.

The rain that had relentlessly poured down the previous day had stopped, leaving the ground saturated with water and mud and the sky a dove gray.

I stood on the wet wood of the porch, breathing in the scent of the forest doused with water. I didn’t detect any of that beast’s smell either so no knot of worry had formed in my stomach quite yet. A sparrow sang from one of the pines. I smiled.

“Are you ready, darling?” Loki asked, walking up to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I replied, lacing my fingers in his and leading him off of the porch and into the woods.

We were quiet as we walked at a moderate pace; Loki was deep within his own mind and I was content enjoying the sounds of the morning. I lead him much farther North than I needed to; I didn’t want to risk that beast catching us out of the city. Worry started to gnaw at my stomach as we walked; what would I do if I saw it again, what could I do to protect Loki from it, how could I prevent it from touching me with its foul skin?

“I found information on that creature.” Loki said suddenly and I tripped over nothing and nearly fell into the mud.

“I – oh.” I managed. “And?”

“It’s called Riheil, if it truly is the beast. Riheil is described as a ‘twisted black creature with four arms and two mouths and was said to give off a smell like that of acid and that anything it touched would burn and wither.’”

I blinked, my heart fluttering in nervousness.

“That sounds like the thing I saw.” I murmured. “But I don’t remember it having two mouths?”

“Supposedly its second mouth is on its chest.”

I shivered. “That’s vile.”

“Mm.” Loki agreed, stepping around a particularly large puddle. “It was supposed to have been destroyed long before either of us were born, but that was said of the Tesseract, Aether, and the dark elves.”

“The Asgardians were never good at record keeping, were they?” I mused, hearing a twig snap nearby.

I went rigid and my eyes darted wildly around for the source of the noise.

Loki stopped too, automatically drawing his dagger and stepping closer to me, his hard eyes grazing the trees warily.

My breath caught in my throat as the branches of a shrub swayed and I moved to charge at it, but Loki stopped me.

A deer stepped leisurely out from behind the plant, nosing at the grass for food.

“It’s just a stag, Vey.” Loki said quietly.

The deer glanced up at the sound of Loki’s voice and froze, its soft black eyes wide in fear.

I sighed in relief, grabbing Loki’s hand on my belly, watching the frightened deer gratefully.

“Go on then.” I told it softly. “We won’t hurt you.”

The deer blinked and bolted, galloping swiftly away into the forest.

I leaned into Loki’s shoulder, trying to slow my annoying little heart that was hammering in my chest.

“It’s unlikely that Riheil will attack us in the daylight, Vey.” Loki said, taking my hand. “And even if it did, the two of us are more than a match for it.”

I swallowed hard and straightened up.

Loki smiled warmly at me and brushed my cheek with his thumb.

I guess stranger things had happened than the two of us beating it. I wasn’t sure I could best Riheil, but I would die a thousand times before I let it near Loki.

We continued on our way and Loki told me about the previous festivals and the mischief he had caused at them and the amount of mead others had consumed at them. I was grateful for his voice; it gave me something to think about other than the twisted monster.

After several hours we made it back to the outskirts of the forest, but before we left it Loki stopped me.

“It would be wise to disguise ourselves before we enter then city.” Loki said, glancing down into a puddle.

I peered into it and I saw Loki’s reflection shimmer in green light before he changed into the servant Lucius. I watched my own face reshape and my black skin melted away and my horns shrunk back until the plain face of my disguise was staring up at me from the water.

I scowled slightly at myself.

Loki noticed and raised one eyebrow at me in question.

“If you don’t like that face I can give you a different one.” He offered, straightening up and looking down at me.

I shrugged and crossed my arms. “There’s no reason to; we’re hiding and people already recognize this face as someone who’s supposed to be there...”

I trailed off and looked up at Loki. His eyes were wide, warning me not to speak.

We were both frozen for an instant, staring at each other.

I saw a flame orange leaf detach from a branch behind Loki and several feet behind the leaf I saw it.

Riheil was standing there, in the shadow of a pine tree.

Two of its arms were folded close to its chest and its wide jagged mouth was twisted up into a malicious grin that stretched all the way up to its appalling dirty yellow eyes.

In a heartbeat I threw smoke at Riheil that crystallized into shards that shot into its body and it screamed.

I grabbed Loki and propelled us both away from it and we both began running as hard as we could.

I could hear Riheil pounding after us and it was all I could do to keep from collapsing. My entire body was shaking and my heart was trying to burst from my chest and the only thing that kept me running was my knowledge that Loki would stop if I did.

Riheil suddenly lunged at me and caught me and slammed me into the ground with a harrowing screech.

It was only on me for a second before it was blasted off of me with another shriek.

“VEY _RUN_!” Loki bellowed, throwing energy at Riheil as it tried to rise, slamming it back down into a tree.

I scrambled to my feet and began running again, but it got up and charged at me with lightening speed and grabbed my arm, swinging me around and throwing me into Loki, sending us flying backward through the forest.

I had the misfortune of colliding with a boulder as I landed and I felt my back break with a horrible snap on impact.

I tumbled heavily into the mud several feet from Loki, unable to move.

Loki rolled to his feet and glanced back at me. I stared at him, my gaping mouth unable to form words and Loki’s face was contorted into a rage that I had only seen once before.

Loki sprinted at the creature and ducked under its outstretched arms to plunge his knife into Riheil’s shoulder.

It howled in pain, but it captured Loki with its second set of arms which revealed the mouth in the center of its chest, a long black tongue flicking out of it as it hissed.

I could only watch in horror as it threw Loki behind it and turned its hideous eyes on me.

It lumbered toward me, helpless in the mud and grinned.

Loki leapt onto its back from behind and drove his dagger into its throat, causing some magic to flow into it through the knife that made the leathery skin around it burst open and black slimy blood poured out.

It shrieked in pain and attempted to grab him again, but Loki was too quick and he jumped down from it and cut its Achilles tendon. Riheil roared and crumpled to the ground, trying to lunge after Loki and spitting in rage.

It seemed like Loki had injured it enough to finish it and he darted forward, drawing his arm back to plunge his dagger into Rihiel's eye.

Riheil wasn’t going to die that easily though, and it whipped around and caught Loki’s hand at the last second.

It roared into Loki’s face and my body lurched in terror as it dug its claws into Loki’s chest and slammed him into the ground.

My body was twitching violently but it wouldn’t do what I wanted and I could only seize as Riheil sunk its needle like teeth into Loki’s arm and Loki cried out and struggled, but it was useless. It was going to kill him. It was going to kill him for real and I couldn’t even scream.

White light erupted in my eyes; I had inevitably torn some chord in my back and I was finally dying.

…But no, a deafening boom shook the ground and I heard Riheil scream louder than ever.

The light flashed out and I was shocked to see Thor standing over Loki, battering Riheil with Mjolnir.

Thor hadn’t wounded Riheil that I could tell, but it cowered wide-eyed away from him and shrieked again, but it sounded less like an attack and more like a scream of a cornered animal.

Riheil bolted off into the woods, screeching like a pig running from the slaughter and I noticed several guards that pursued it, throwing spears and beams of fire after it.

“Get them to the infirmary.” Thor demanded, doing a double take on me when he saw the face of Valerie.

“Valerie!” Thor exclaimed in shock, jogging over to me.

I was still convulsing, unable to stop, and Thor knelt beside me and put a hand on my stomach and my forehead to hold me still.

“Valerie, it’s alright.” He told me. “You’re going to be alright, I promise.”

My wide eyes darted to where Loki was, blocked from my view by several guards, my mouth desperately trying to form his name.

Thor glanced where I was staring and understood why I was panicking.

“He’s alright, Valerie.” Thor assured me. “You look to be in worse condition than he is. Try to hold still, alright? You’re both safe now.”

I stopped twitching quite so violently and my eyes drifted partially closed in relief.

Loki and I were rushed to the castle’s infirmary, but before we got there, blood filled up my lungs and I stopped breathing.

I didn’t lose consciousness oddly, and my unseeing eyes stared up at the ceiling rushing above me as I was sped into the castle.

I wasn’t as panicked anymore; Loki was in better condition that I was and even if I died again, I’d be alright. But for now there was nothing to distract me from the agony.

I really wished that the healers would stop trying to revive me; I would heal on my own and if they let me die at least I’d have some momentary relief from all of this. My body would mend itself faster if I actually _did_ die, but no, they wouldn’t allow it.

I felt as if I was drifting off, but strangely, some of the pain was ebbing away. A dark shape drifted over my fuzzy vision and I watched it with vague interest.

I felt something unlike the hands of the healers on me; I felt something gently brush against my forehead.

I couldn’t make my eyes focus on him, but I caught his scent and the familiar tones of his voice.

Loki.

“Vey.” He said in a soft undertone. “It’s alright. I’m here darling, your pain will cease soon.”

I felt a kiss on my forehead. “I love you.”

Loki stayed with me all night, even after I was stabilized and the healers drifted out. I couldn’t move without pain burning up and down my body, but I never lost consciousness and I listened to Loki talk quietly to me as he held my hand. He even sang softly to me a few times. And yet even with Loki there to comfort me, it was the longest night that I had ever been through.


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning came and I hadn't slept.

My body had repaired the worst of the damage, so Loki put up an illusion that I was still wounded so that no one would suspect anything.

I didn't feel like eating and I was too distracted to pay attention to Loki when he spoke to me.

Riheil was trying to kill  _me_ specifically and it hadn't seemed interested in Loki, which was an immense relief. It was more powerful than I had previously realized; that was  _heavy_  magic that Loki had thrown at it and it had barely even noticed. It had just kept lumbering toward me like no force in the Nine could stop it from getting me.

"Why did Riheil run off?" I asked suddenly, interrupting Loki in whatever he was saying.

He blinked. "Isn't it obvious?"

I scowled. "Don't give me that, Loki."

"Riheil fled when Thor and the others found us." Loki said, leaning back in his chair.

"Yeah?"

Loki smirked in a superior way that sort of made me want to smack him.

"Tell me darling, why do you believe that Riheil refrained from attacking us when we were staying in the cabin?"

I shrugged. "Because it didn't know that was where we were?"

Loki pursed his lips. "Mm at first yes, but it was storming the next night and into the day and I believe that it hid."

"Hid?" I repeated slowly, realization dawning on me.

Loki nodded. "And the first night it attacked you –"

"It ran off because it was storming!" I finished, sitting bolt upright. "Riheil is afraid of  _Thor_! That's why it runs from lightening and it panicked when he confronted it!"

Loki nodded, satisfied. "While my brother is not useful in many areas, it does seem as if Riheil fears him for whatever reason."

I frowned. "But, wait, _why_ is Riheil afraid of Thor?"

Loki shrugged nonchalantly. "Thor is gifted with brute strength and mighty power and perhaps Riheil just knows not to challenge someone that it can't defeat."

"The both of us are just as strong as Thor is though." I mused. "I'm going to ask him if he knows anything."

Loki scowled. "Must you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I must. It'll drive me mad if I don't find out."

Loki's eyes flickered to the door and I looked away from him just as a knock sounded through the wood. I glanced back to Loki but he had disappeared.

"Come in." I instructed, and to my surprise Serena eased the door open and gasped in relief when she saw me.

"Valerie!" She squealed, running up to kneel next to me. "Oh, by the gods, this is all my fault!"

Serena started bawling and I stared down at her, taken aback.

"Your fault?" I repeated in bewilderment. "How is any of this your fault?"

"If – I – hadn't –" She gasped between sobs. "– let you – go! This – this wouldn't – have happened!"

I scowled a little in disbelief. "You didn't 'let' me go, I would have left regardless of what you did."

Serena continued crying and my stomach lurched in anger.

"Why? You didn't get in trouble did you?" I asked sharply. "Because I will tell anyone that you couldn't have stopped me –"

"No – no, I didn't get in – trouble." Serena cried.

"Then why are you so upset?" I asked, puzzled.

"Because you nearly  _died_!" Serena wailed. "Look at you; you're bandaged all over and you can't even move! You could have been paralyzed or  _worse_!"

I blinked, still shocked. Serena didn't know anything about me, what reason could she possibly have for caring about me?

I told her that I had hypnotized her so it was in no way her fault, but that didn't comfort her in the slightest.

She eventually cried herself out without my help and she sat hunched over next to me, sniffling.

I felt sorry for her, but she would be completely revolted by me if she knew what I really was. But still, even that wasn't her fault.

I was just telling Serena not to walk anywhere alone and to be sure that she locked her doors and stayed in the city, preferably in the castle, when someone knocked on the door.

I beckoned them in and I was surprised to see Thor shyly pushing the door open.

"Hello Valerie." He said, nodding in greeting and I heard a tiny squeak come from Serena and out of the corner of my eye I noticed her vigorously rubbing at her face. "I came to see how you were recovering."

"I'm fine." I said quietly.

Thor lowered one eyebrow slightly, but his warm eyes moved to Serena who had fixed her puffy crying face and she smiled shyly at Thor.

"Would you mind giving us a minute alone miss…?" Thor trailed off and Serena jolted.

"S-Serena, your grace." She managed. "And – yes of course – I'm so sorry –"

Thor smiled at Serena and she scurried quickly out of the room, her dark curls bouncing.

Thor turned his bright blue eyes back to me and I realized that I was tensely frowning at him.

"How do you fare?" Thor asked, raising one eyebrow skeptically. " _Truly_?"

I smirked and shrugged. "Well I'm worried. Sore. Afraid. Afraid more for my lover than I am for myself."

A dark shape stirred behind Thor and I resisted the urge to grin.

"These are understandable things to be." Thor replied quietly. "And it is for that reason that I request that you and your lover stay within the castle walls until the beast is caught."

I laughed to myself. Two princes worrying over a monster.

"Do you honestly believe that we are safe here?" I asked softly, the shape in the corner fidgeting in irritation.

"I wholly do." Thor replied. "The beast wouldn't dare enter the boundaries of the castle."

"Riheil." I corrected slowly, watching Thor's face carefully. "The beast is called Riheil."

No recognition crossed Thor's face but he frowned.

"How did you come to learn this?" Thor asked.

A flutter of panic stirred in my belly, but I didn't allow it to show on my face.

"I heard a servant say something about it." I said quietly, making my eyes big and scared. "Do you know anything about it?"

A shadow crossed Thor's face.

"I do not." Thor said slowly, his eyes drifting away from me. "If only…"

A flicker of pain crossed Thor's face and he shook himself, his eyes returning to me and he seemed to force himself to relax his face.

"My brother may have known." He said after a minute. "But… I will ask someone to do some research."

I nodded and smiled sympathetically.

Thor left and Loki reappeared, a hard look on his angular face.

"Well he doesn't seem to know anything," I said quietly, moving to get out of bed slowly.

Loki didn't respond and I moved up to him to lean into his chest.

He wrapped an arm around me.

"I hate sitting here like a lamb waiting for slaughter." I said quietly. "Knowing that Riheil is out there, staring into the city and waiting."

Loki sighed softly. "As do I, my love. But so long as it stays in the forest, we are safe."

Several days went by without incident. I stayed in my room and Serena often came by to talk to me and she brought me books and things to occupy my time. I couldn't read most of them, but I was so pleased that she was trying to help that I wasn't bothered.

Loki visited as often as he could but he seemed preoccupied and would sometimes simply lay on the bed with his head in my lap and say nothing at all.

My illusioned wounds were healing nicely and the healers said that I would be able to leave the next day when something unexpected came up.

Serena was the first one to tell me, bursting into my room early enough in the morning that I would have attacked almost anyone else, but I gave her rapt attention when I noticed the panic in her dark eyes.

"The monster is in the city." She panted, clutching her chest. "It – it was near the Bifrost – and Hiemdall – chased it off but –"

Serena broke off and looked at me.

My eyes were wide and I couldn't move. Riheil was in the city. Riheil was in the city _. Riheil – was – in – the – city._

"Where is it now?" I recovered, glancing at the door like it would burst in, something that was now a very logical fear.

"It ran off." Serena replied, pursing her lips. "It's so fast… they couldn't keep up with it."

I swallowed hard and nodded. Gods help me.

I heard the clanking of metal and a guard came into my room.

"Miss Valerie, the king wishes to speak with you." He informed us and Serena rounded on him.

"She's still injured she can barely –"

"I'm fine." I interrupted, standing somewhat shakily. "Let's go."

I followed the guard into the throne room, Serena at my heels.

We bowed before Loki who was disguised as Odin to everyone but me.

"I will speak with the girl alone." Loki instructed and the others quickly left the throne room and I turned my face up to Loki.

As soon as they were gone, he jumped up from the throne and descended the steps to me.

"We're not as safe as we thought." I managed, standing up.

"No." He agreed, his emerald eyes wide and strained as he looked down at me. "No we are not."

"What are we going to do?" I whispered, staring off into nothing. "If its fear of Thor isn't enough to keep it out of the city it's eventually going to be brave enough to venture into the castle…"

I broke off, picturing the skeletal monster bursting through the doors and screaming, devouring servants and fighting its way to the throne room and I choked and covered my mouth with my hand.

"No." Loki snapped sharply. "That will not happen. I will not allow it."

I focused my eyes on him and he was frowning, deep in his own mind.

"No…" He repeated, straightening up and looking like he had come to a decision.

"Vey I want you to stay in my room instead of the healer's ward." Loki instructed. "Go there now, I must take care of some things."

I nodded vaguely and morphed into shadow, rushing out of the throne room.

Serena was outside of the doors, chewing on her thumb nail and glancing nervously at the soldiers standing guard.

I twisted around the ceiling for a minute, watching her.

Surely the monster wouldn't go after her? It only attacked Loki when he got in its way and I doubted Serena would do anything like that. She lived in the castle, she was generally in well-guarded areas; if the gods were just she would be safe.

As much as I disliked the thought, I would have to keep my distance from her now. It was the only thing that would assure her safety.

I silently said goodbye to her and I made my way to Loki's chambers.

It was dark now and I listened to the wind howling outside as I paced in front of the window. Autumn had all but died and winter was beginning; frost caked the gardens outside and the air had a sharp and freezing smell to it like the sky was debating on spitting out snow.

I sighed heavily and plopped down on Loki's bed and wrapped myself in the blankets, which made me feel a bit safer.

I couldn't live like this. I couldn't keep my sanity while my thoughts were wholly consumed by that  _wretched beast_. Thor's presence was keeping it at bay for now, but how long would that last?

Loki strode into the room a few hours later, marching up to the bed and prodding me.

"Vey get up." He demanded. "We need to leave."

I lifted my head to look at him in confusion.

"Leave?" I repeated. "Didn't we just discover that going into the city isn't safe?"

"We're not going into the city." Loki told me, rummaging through the book shelves and throwing a dagger and a bottle into a bag. "We're leaving Asgard."

"Wait what?" I asked stupidly, jumping out of bed. "Where will we go?"

"Midgard." Loki said simply. "And we really must be leaving as soon as possible."

I narrowed my eyes, still not understanding.

"Loki you're the king of Asgard, you can't just leave –"

Loki stopped what he was doing and stood in front of me.

"Vey everything has been taken care of, Odin is back on the throne, he doesn't remember anything, and we're leaving,  _now_."

"You- but-" I stammered.

"I will explain everything as soon as I have the time." Loki said briskly, straightening up and glancing around the room.

"Do you need to take anything with you?" He asked distractedly. "I think I have everything that I need."

I shook my head.

"Good." Loki said, striding to the door. "Let's leave."

I followed Loki out of his room and through the deserted halls of the castle. He led us to the dock that the ships were stored at and disguised himself as a guard. He spoke to the others that were on patrol, falsely laughing with them and he took one of the boats, saying that he was joining the other scouts that were searching for Riheil.

We drifted silently above the sleeping city and I stared down into it, wondering if Riheil was there, maybe hiding in the sewers or in one of the darkest alleys.

We picked up speed as we left the city behind, heading in a direction that I hadn't traveled before.

I felt a pang of something as I scanned the glittering skyline of Asgard, something almost like regret. I wouldn't miss the castle; it was too big, too golden and too hollow, but I would miss Serena. She was the only person besides Loki that could stand my presence.

I turned around in the boat, refusing to look back at the shining jewels of the city, and I focused my attention on Loki.

He glanced back at me, the wind whipping his raven hair all around and he smiled in his mischievous way and I smirked.

It didn't matter that we were leaving the castle really; my home was with Loki.


	20. Chapter 20

Loki took us a long way from the city, past the portal to Svartalfhiem and I was biting on my thumbnail and worrying that surely Riheil was pursuing us when Loki stopped the boat.

We didn't appear to be anywhere special; we were stopped near the same craggily rocks of the cliff we had been drifting beside and I glanced at him questioningly.

"The portal to Midgard is too small for the boat to fit through." Loki explained. "We must walk to it."

Loki ran his fingertips along the cliff face and latched onto a seemingly random stone and pulled.

The rock scraped against the cliff and slowly moved to reveal a hole that was just big enough for Loki and I to fit through.

Loki had to duck to step into the entrance of the small passage and he turned and offered me a hand to pull me up behind him.

I summoned a small white fire in my hand to illuminate the cave and we began walking.

We walked for several minutes in stifling silence and I was beginning to feel claustrophobic when Loki stopped in front of me and I bumped into him.

I peered around him to see a shimmering thin veil suspended in the air like a curtain. A slight breeze could be felt coming from it and I caught the very faint scent of cigarette smoke and blood.

"Where on Midgard does this lead?" I asked, glancing back into the dark passage.

"Just a small town." Loki replied softly. "We will travel to a larger city where it will be easier to hide."

I let the fire in my palm die and Loki stepped through the portal.

I followed after him and I was instantly met with icy rain pouring down on me. It was too dark to see but Loki grabbed my hand and led me down what seemed to be an alley and out of the rain.

We were now under the awning of a tavern. A human was standing near us, leaning against the brick of the bar and watching us suspiciously.

I glanced at Loki who was now dressed in a dark green sweater and jeans. His eyes flickered to the human and he mumbled something under his breath and the human went rigid and dropped his cigarette and spun on his heel and marched into the bar.

I squinted into the pouring rain, but I couldn't make out any details about the town we were in.

"I'll be right back." Loki said quietly and he ducked into the pub.

I glanced down at myself and decided to give myself something warmer to wear; black boots, torn skinny jeans and a black jacket. I always did prefer Midgardian fashion.

Loki returned a minute later with a set of car keys and I noticed that the patrons of the tavern were all standing strangely, their eyes dazed and glassy and I smirked.

The town seemed to be completely closed with the exception of the bar, so Loki didn't bother hiding us and he cast a barrier to keep the rain off of us. The car was a black Mercedes parked in the lot behind the bar, it wasn't fancy but it wasn't conspicuous either so it would suffice.

Loki drove us away from the sleepy town and I cranked the heat up and flipped through the radio until I found a song that I liked the sound of.

I kicked my feet up onto the dash and watched the glow of the headlights in a sea of darkness.

The green numbers on the dashboard declared that it was one thirty seven.

 _But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time.  
Didn't I, my dear? _ The song on the radio sang and I smirked. It was a song by a band called Mumford and Sons and I told myself to look them up later.

"So where are we going?" I asked, interrupting the music.

"New York City." Loki replied. "You may as well sleep, it will be dawn before we arrive there."

I turned my face to him and puffed out air. "I could get us there quicker than that."

"Well I don't want to arrive there ready to vomit." Loki retorted.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

Hours passed by and the rain slowly let up. I didn't want to go to sleep so when I felt tired I morphed into smoke and traveled next to the car in a mass of shadow. Loki would rev the engine at me and I would bump the car lightly in retort.

We stopped at a tiny gas station around five thirty to refuel the car and I stretched on my toes and yawned.

We were close enough to New York that I could see it somewhat, it looked like a million candles on the horizon that stretched up into the sky and I stared at it silently for a while.

Loki silently walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and watched the city with me for a few minutes.

We got back into the car and drove another two hours before we ran into traffic that was so bad we were literally stopped.

Dawn broke as we sat behind an old gray van, pink morning light shone on the immensely tall buildings of the city and I couldn't help gawking at them.

"If traffic doesn't start moving I'm going to go fly around those buildings." I told Loki.

Loki turned his head to me, looking almost alarmed. "Vey that isn't a good idea."

I lowered one eyebrow at him. "Why not?"

"Well, it's a very populated city." Loki explained, his tired eyes flicking to the skyscrapers. "And I don't think that you would be able to do that without being seen."

"I've done that in plenty of large cities though, no one ever noticed me in London." I argued.

Loki pursed his lips. "Well in  _this particular city_  I happen to know of someone who has technology advanced enough to detect you and we don't need SHIELD coming after you again."

I pouted and sunk down into my seat. "Fiiiine."

Loki leaned his chin on one hand. "Thank you."

I glanced at him and noticed bruises forming under his eyes again.

"Will you actually start sleeping occasionally now that we're off of Asgard?" I asked.

Loki smirked halfheartedly. "Maybe."

I frowned and melted into shadow and wrapped around him, solidifying just enough that he could feel me nuzzling his neck and I draped my arms down his chest.

He sighed and leaned back into me.

We finally got out of the crawling traffic and Loki seemed to know exactly where he was going as he drove around the city. He eventually stopped at a large elegant apartment building and we got out of the Mercedes.

We went in without speaking to anyone and I noticed that he had a key with room 5207 carved into it in his hand.

"Why do you already have a flat in New York City?" I asked curiously.

"I have places of residence ready in every country in Midgard." Loki said casually as we got into the elevator. "I have innumerable places to hide on this planet alone."

"Huh." I shrugged. "Is there anything that you aren't prepared for?"

Loki smirked. "Almost nothing."

Loki's apartment didn't have much in it besides basic furniture that was all cream colored. The floor was dark red-brown cherry wood, real wood of course, and I walked up to the wide balcony doors.

There was New York City, spread out like a map below us.

"Good god how tall is this building?" I asked, walking out onto the balcony and leaning over the railing.

"I don't know. It's the second tallest in Manhattan though." Loki replied, walking out next to me.

I stared out over the city, squinting.

"I think I'll like being here." I said, smirking.

§ § §

The first night in our apartment was bizarre; I wasn't used to the noises of the city down below us and neither Loki nor I slept. We lay in the king sized bed curled up together without saying anything all night.

I liked the apartment, but I thought that it was barren and it needed Wi-Fi. Loki said I could do with it what I pleased and I didn't think he realized the severity of what he did when he told me that.

Loki asked me what I wanted to look like as a disguise, if I wanted to use Valerie's face or make a new one.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and contemplated myself.

"Can you make me look like myself?" I asked, turning to look up at him. "Like… can you just take the blackness from my skin?"

Loki studied my face for a minute, his emerald eyes soft.

He brushed my cheek with his thumb, his eyes traveling all over my face. My skin felt funny, like butterfly wings were brushing against it.

"There." He said after a minute, tilting his head. "I believe that is close to what you used to look like, darling."

I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes widened.

This was  _exactly_  what I used to look like.

I had pale skin, similar to Loki's except that my nose and my cheeks were dotted with freckles and my blank eyes were now dark brown. My horns were gone and my hair was the same color as my eyes.

"Is that what you wanted?" Loki asked quietly, his big eyes suggesting he was worried that I took offence.

"Yeah." I said glancing at him in the mirror and smiling a little. "Yeah it is."

I turned away from my reflection and looked up at him. "I want my hair to be pink though."

Loki laughed and I grinned.

"Truly?" Loki smirked widely.

"Uh huh, I want it really pale pastel pink." I bubbled, grinning up at him.

"Alright." Loki smiled and I saw my brown hair melt into pink. I turned around and looked at my reflection, grinning. Now I didn't remind myself so much of that young girl I had destroyed.

"Perfect." I told him, kissing his cheek.

Practically the first thing Loki did was search for a job.

I told him that money didn't mean anything to either of us and that we could just hypnotize people and take whatever we wanted, but he said money wasn't the reason he wanted a job.

I followed Loki around for the first few days, trailing behind him in his shadow and curling around him. The sidewalks of the city were just as packed as the streets, you couldn't hardly walk most places without bumping into people.

Loki knew how to navigate the city much better than I did, he knew which train to get on at which station to get him to which building and it confused the living hell out of me.

He apparently worked at a building called Stark Tower now and he just seemed to do a lot of paperwork boring business stuff. The tower itself was pretty interesting, it was tall and airy and had a lot of buzzing computers and the like in it.

After about a week of staying hidden I decided to go out with Loki in my disguise.

I was surprised at how much the attitude of the general public changed now that I was with him; some men would gawk at us and I caught whistling several times. I realized it was because of  _me_ , these men were trying to get my attention.

Loki was royally pissed off by this and he started walking closer to me and glowering and anyone that took interest in us. That got rid of most of the unwanted attention.

We did look a bit strange as a couple, Loki was in a black suit and tie and looked severe and formal and I had bright pink hair that I had curled and torn black jeans and a leather jacket and combat boots and I kept blowing bubbles with the gum I was chewing.

We walked below the streets to the subway and waited on the platform for the train to arrive, but apparently there had been some delay and it was going to be a fifteen minute wait until the train arrived.

Loki was messing around on the tablet that I had stolen for him and I was watching the people, most of whom were dressed like Loki and looking just as generally irritable.

A small child that looked to be about two was tottering around the crowd and she caught my eye.

She didn't seem to be with anyone, where the hell was that girl's mother?

I moved away from Loki, closer to the little girl.

She was staring up at the people with big tearful blue eyes and I felt myself get angry. Who loses their two year old in a train station?

The girl spotted me and tottered up to me and to my surprise, she lifted her arms up to me like she wanted picked up.

"U-Up." The little girl requested, her voice shaky from fear.

She started crying, demanding to be lifted up and still no one looked at her and the sound irritated me.

"Fine fine." I told her and leaned down to pick her up.

She sniffled at me and I frowned at her. Her brown hair was a mess and she had snot running down her face.

I conjured a cloth and wiped her face off with it. She smiled at me and lifted her little hands up to touch my horns.

My eyes widened. She shouldn't be able to see my horns, sure they were still there, but Loki's magic had hidden them. How on Midgard could this little girl see through the disguise and how was she giggling and not  _completely terrified_?

"Sheep." She said, tugging slightly. "You sheep."

Some monotone woman over the speaker announced that our train was arriving soon, so I went back over to Loki with the little girl on my hip as the train arrived.

I followed Loki onto the train and the doors closed and we began moving.

The little girl hiccupped and Loki looked up from his tablet.

"I – Vey what did –" He sputtered and the little girl turned to him curiously.

He stared down at me in disbelief, his jaw slightly open.

"She's mine now." I said simply.

"Vey for the love of –" Loki started, his voice rising, but stopped when several people looked over at him.

"Vey you cannot just snatch up children." Loki hissed.

"I did not  _snatch her up_." I defended. "She was abandoned."

"Vey no, that girl has a mother that is likely having a heart attack right now!" Loki hissed, flicking his hand and the eavesdroppers quickly looked away.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "If her mother cared about her in the slightest she wouldn't have allowed her to wander off in the middle of a busy subway station."

Loki's eyebrows rose and he pursed his lips.

"She could have fallen onto the tracks!" I defended. "I saved her, she's mine now."

We argued all the way to our destination and we were swept out of the subway with the flow of the commuters.

We were right next to Stark Tower now and I insisted on bringing her into the building and finding her something to eat because she had started to say things like "Juice" and "Hungry".

"Vey for the love of the gods," Loki said in an undertone as I strut into the building. "I will get fired if you –"

"Who's kid?" Someone asked and I turned to see a somewhat tan man in a suit with a brown mustache and well clipped beard and Loki started.

"Mr. Stark!" He managed, faking sounding like an American. "I – well –"

"I found her outside." I said coolly. "She was wandering around by herself and I couldn't just leave her outside."

Stark shrugged. "Fair enough. Jarvis?"

"Yes sir?" An electronic voice responded from the room.

"Find out who this kid belongs to." The little girl repeated "Juice" and tried to grab Stark's tie. "And check if we have any juice boxes or whatever kids eat."

Stark looked at the girl and looked at me and looked up at Loki and shrugged.

"I think Pepper has some stuff she can mess with in her office." Stark said, walking away.

I followed after him and glanced back at Loki who was looking  _completely livid_  and I stuck my tongue out at him and winked.

Stark got into an elevator and I followed him and he tapped at some blue tinted screens that appeared in front of him and the little girl in my arms grabbed at my horns again, but I moved so that she couldn't reach them. She giggled and laughed and I smiled.

The elevator doors opened and a blonde woman was standing on the other side of them.

"Tony you can't cancel that meeting with the council again, they've been after me ever since…" The woman was telling Stark but she trailed off when she saw me and the little girl.

"It's bring your daughter to work day." Stark said and I smirked.

"No, no it isn't I don't even think she works here." The woman said to Stark, looking extremely unamused.

"Oh." Stark said, turning to look at me. "Do you work here?"

I shook my head and he shrugged.

"Well it's not like it's uncommon for people to wander in here." Stark said unconcernedly. "Jarvis is my coffee ready?"

"Yes sir." The robotic voice replied and Stark walked past the blonde woman who was pursing her lips and looking like she was nearly used to this sort of thing.

"Pepper do you know if we have any juice boxes?" Stark asked the woman casually and the little girl repeated "Juice!".

"I – I think we do, you just bought some the other day didn't you?" Pepper replied, glancing back at me.

"Oh yeah, for your …" Stark trailed off and looked at Pepper. "Sister's friend's daughter?"

Pepper nodded and smirked slightly.

"Well there you have it." Stark said, looking back at me. "The kitchen's a couple floors below this one. Floor six."

"Thanks." I replied, walking back to the elevator.

Right before the doors closed again I saw Pepper squinting at Stark and when they slid shut I heard her say in exasperation "Tony, really? You can't just let random women come in here and wander around, what if she works for –"

I lost everything she said after that because the elevator was too far and I laughed out loud. Humans were so  _strange_.

The elevator stopped and I saw a clean white kitchen on the right side of the room.

I wandered over to the fridge and found the juice boxes Stark had spoken of and I gave one to the little girl and put her down on the counter.

I rummaged around and found a box of cookies too and I gave one to the little girl.

I felt like I should stay here until the little girl's mother came for her and I frowned at the girl. Maybe it was just an honest mistake that her mother was separated from her. Regardless. She should have been more watchful.

Watching her stirred something strange in me. What would a baby of Loki and I look like? Could I even have a child...?

After about half an hour of sitting on the counter and talking absentmindedly to the girl who repeated "sheep" several more times and insisted on touching my horns, the elevator doors opened and a panic stricken woman rushed in, jabbering incoherently.

"Annabelle!" She exclaimed and ran up to the little girl. "Oh my god I was so worried!"

The woman started crying and hugging the little girl and I observed her strangely until she looked at me and I quickly made myself look relieved.

"Oh my god thank you so much for helping my little angel!" The woman sobbed and embraced me.

I frowned in disgust and looked at the man, likely her husband that had escorted her in here. He shrugged.

After ten minutes of mostly incomprehensible babbling and a lot of thanks and several more awkward hugs the man gently reminded the woman of something that she had to get done today and she nodded and they both thanked me one more time and left. The little girl reached for me as they got into the elevator.

"Bye bye sheepie." She said and I smiled warmly at her.

I was left alone, staring at the elevator in a mixture of confusion and longing.

Well I had had enough of human interactions for probably at least a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapters gonna have some more smut friend. prepare yourself.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been posting so much because i have an essay i dont want to do.

I left Stark Tower, intending to go back in and look for Loki.

I wandered aimlessly for a while, looking for somewhere that I could disappear but this place was so _busy._

I eventually managed to get out of the flow of people and duck into an empty alley where I melted into a shadow and moved along the streets around the feet of the people that were walking.

Some Midgardians it seemed were more sensitive to my presence because once or twice while I passed by someone’s ankles they would yelp and jump away from me. I turned around to watch them, curious, as they looked wildly around for me for an instant before they were swept away by the steam of people.

I made it back to Stark Tower and I slipped into Loki’s office from the window.

He straightened up when he sensed my presence and I wrapped around him apologetically.

“Vey I wholeheartedly believe that you do these things to distress me.” He murmured in my mind.

“Well that’s not the _entire_ reason I do.” I purred.

I stayed with Loki all day, mostly curling up in his lap and sleeping.

He left Stark Tower in the evening and I risked appearing out of nowhere behind him. Not a single soul noticed and I smirked. Maybe it wouldn’t be too hard to hide here.

We stopped at a café for dinner and I told Loki about how the little girl could see my horns.

“I don’t see how that’s possible.” Loki frowned at the table.

“Me neither, but what surprised me more than that was that she wasn’t afraid of me.” I said in a rush.

Loki looked up at me and smiled.

“You seemed to be awfully fond of her.” Loki mused, his emerald eyes studying my face.

I shrugged, absentmindedly poking at the straw in my drink.

“Would you want a baby someday?” Loki asked and my head snapped up.

“I – uh I –” I stammered and then laughed shortly. “I don’t know. I doubt I could actually _have_ a child because of how twisted my body is.”

Loki shrugged. “Would you want one though?”

I pursed my lips and looked up at Loki.

“Yeah…” I said quietly. “But…” I pictured myself standing by a window, holding a little cooing bundle and I saw Riheil crawl out of the shadows and rear up behind me. My wide eyes met Loki’s. “No child of ours would ever be safe.”

Loki frowned with his eyebrows. “I understand, darling.”

He glanced away from me, looking at a wall but his eyes were seeing through it.

“It wouldn’t be easy.” He agreed. “Nothing worth doing is ever easy.”

I studied his pale face.

He wanted a baby, I could see it in his face. I didn’t know if I did or not. I didn’t know if I could bear bringing another thing into the world to be afraid for. No baby of mine would _ever_ be safe…

The storm clouds passed out of Loki’s eyes and he looked down at me.

“I worked my way into Stark’s database today.” Loki said casually. “SHEILD gave him some information on you and told him to watch out for you.”

My eyebrows rose. “Really? What information did they give him?”

“What you look like, some of what you can do, and how to trap you if necessary.”

I scowled. “Dammit I was hoping that they hadn’t figured that out.”

Loki smirked. “Well you mustn't yourself to be captured again, love.”

I shrugged. “That would probably be in my best interest, yeah.” My eyes flickered to Loki. “Does SHEILD know of Riheil?”

Loki shook his head. “If they do they have not told Stark of it.”

I sighed and looked around the busy bright café.

“Let’s go home, I’m tired of these humans.” I mumbled.

Loki smirked and got up from the table and offered me his arm.

We took a taxi to the apartment building and I curled up on the couch in front of the large television that I might have “borrowed” from one of the stores.

Loki took off his jacket and yawned.

I lifted my arms up, inviting him to lie down on me and he chuckled softly.

“Sorry darling, I have to do some research for Stark.” He said regretfully, sitting at the table and starting up his computer.

I grumbled vaguely.

I got up from the couch and went into our bedroom.

I stood in front of the full length mirror and let my disguise melt off of me.

I glanced behind me into the living room where I could see the glow of Loki’s computer.

My clothes melted off of me and I dug through the dresser for some white lacy things I had bought a few days ago. The corset made my breasts really pop out and I really liked the garter belt and the lacy panties and it was almost a shame that Loki would likely rip them off of me.

I smirked at myself in the mirror. I looked _divine_.

“Loki?” I called, getting on the bed and lying down.

“Yes love?” He asked.

“Come here.” I said, looking at my nails.

I heard him sigh and I rolled over onto my stomach and crossed my ankles in the air, smirking over my shoulder expectantly.

“Vey I don’t –” He started but stopped when he saw me, his eyes widening and his fair cheeks reddening.

I grinned wickedly, twirling some of my hair in my fingers.

“By the gods if you had told me you looked like that I would have _run_ in here.” He breathed, his eyes raking hungrily over me.

I giggled and stretched like a cat, arching my back and Loki inhaled heavily.

Loki practically jumped onto the bed and grabbed my hip and flipped me onto my back. He knelt between my legs and his jaw worked as his bright eyes took in everything that I was wearing and his large hands moved up my legs and I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to kiss me.

I unsnapped the buttons of his shirt and I dragged my hands up and down his belly and kissed the spot under his jaw where I recently found out he was sensitive and he moaned.

I pushed him down onto the bed, moving to plant kisses down his chest and his belly and finally onto the cloth covering the bulge in his pants.

Loki inhaled sharply and watched me with hooded eyes as I undid his pants and let his erection spring free.

I locked eyes with Loki and smirked as I licked the length of his cock and he moaned and his eyelids fluttered. I had rid myself of my gag reflex a long time ago, so I didn’t have to be particularly careful as I took Loki into my mouth, my cheeks hollowing as I moved my head back up.

My head bobbed between his legs and I saw him bawl the bed sheets in his fist and I took him completely into my mouth and he groaned loudly. He pulled my hair into a pony tail and encouraged me to go faster and I did, gripping his hips with my hands.

“Fuck!” He hissed, throwing his head back. “ _Fuck_ Vey, yes!”

Loki was moaning and twitching and I had him exactly where I wanted him when he pulled my head away from him.

“On the bed, on your knees.” He demanded, his hair wild. “ _Now_.”

I tilted my head slightly but obeyed and Loki pulled my hips toward him and positioned his cock at my entrance and I mewled slightly, not wanting to be patient. I was so hot and swollen already, surely he wouldn’t make me wait!

“Beg for me.” He growled in my ear, making me shiver.

“Loki!” I whimpered. “I need you buried inside of me… please…!”

My hips bucked, trying to get him to go into my cunt but Loki was in a wicked mood.

He chuckled darkly, rubbing his head on my sex and I moaned a little.

“ _Please_!” I begged, panting. “My love… my _King_ … _fuck me_!”

“As you wish.” He growled and thrust into me.

I cried out and arched by back, burying my face in the sheets as he pumped his cock into me.

“Oh god… oh _my god_!” I whined. We hadn’t tried this before so this was new to me and _god it felt like ecstasy._

I panted Loki’s name, grinning and likely tearing holes in the bed sheets with my nails.

His hips snapped into me and I could hear him moaning. Loki grabbed one of my horns suddenly and I gasped, my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

“ _OH MY GOD_!” I wailed. “Oh _LOKI_ oh my –”

I broke off, unable to string two words together as he pounded into me and he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my shoulders and my neck.

“Come for me, darling.” He panted in my ear. “Come for your _KING_!”

I obeyed, not able to hold back anymore and my orgasm took me and my lips parted widely and I let out a guttural groan and Loki didn’t relent and kept thrusting into me and my orgasm just _kept going._

“Oh, OH, _OH FUCK_!” Loki shouted and I all I could do was whine as he came deep inside of me, still holding one of my horns in one of his hands. Was it my imagination or did he feel cold?

He let go of me and I moved to lie down, but Loki told me to hold still for a minute.

I looked over my shoulder at him and I was surprised to see that he had turned Jotun, his red eyes watching his seed drip down my thighs.

He leaned forward to lick it off of my legs and I couldn’t help shivering as his cold tongue flicked my skin.

He laid back and I turned around and settled down next to him, propping myself up with one arm and watching him happily.

His red eyes moved up to me, tired and happy, and he grinned.

I hummed, scooting closer to kiss him gently.

He wrapped his arms around me and I laid down on top of him, burying my face in his neck.

I wasn’t used to him being this cold, but I didn’t mind. I still didn’t think that he noticed he had turned Jotun.

“You know, I came so hard that my back popped, like, five times.” I mumbled lazily and Loki laughed loudly. I lifted myself up to look down at him, smirking.

“I know, I felt it. It was bizarre.” Loki laughed.

He studied my face for a minute and lifted a dark blue hand to brush my cheek, but he froze when he saw his hand.

He sat up and looked down at himself, anger contorting his face.

I tilted his chin up to look at me instead. I leaned forward to kiss his cold lips and I held his face in my hands.

“I love you.” I told him.

He looked away from me. “Even when I’m like this? Like a _monster_?”

I took one of his hands and kissed it, holding it close to my thumping heart and he looked up at me.

“Do you not see the way _I_ look?.” I asked him. “You’re _mine_.” His red eyes moved between mine, and after all this time, I could still see his reluctance to believe that I loved him. “Forever.”

The anger melted from his face and he smiled sadly.

We curled up together under the fluffy blankets and Loki turned back into looking Asgardian. I didn’t mind, he was gorgeous and I loved him regardless of which form he chose. If he was comfortable looking like an Asgardian that was alright with me.

He fell asleep for the first time since we came to Asgard and I was soon lulled to sleep by his breathing.

I woke up late in the morning after Loki was already gone for work and I yawned and rolled over, not wanting to get out of bed.

I heard something buzzing in the living room and I squinted at the wall. The hell?

I groaned loudly and stumbled out of bed.

Loki had left a phone that was vibrating on the kitchen counter and I picked it up.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hello darling.” Loki’s voice purred through the phone. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did until you woke me up.” I yawned.

I heard Loki chuckle through the receiver. “I can’t talk for long I’m afraid. There’s bread and fruit in the house, but I need to go get more things soon.”

“I can do that, it isn’t like I do anything all day.” I said, shuffling into the kitchen.

“Alright. I have to go now, I love you Vey.”

“I love you too.” I said and Loki hung up.

I willed my disguise to come back and I put on brown old-looking boots and black leggings and a soft white dress. I grabbed the phone Loki had left me and some money from the counter and I left our apartment.

It was cold outside and the sky was spitting sleet onto the few people on the sidewalks.

I was deep in my own thoughts, thinking about SHIELD when I heard a crude whistle and I stopped cold.

I whipped around to see some skinny kid lumbering toward me, a disgusting wide grin on his face.

“Damn, sweetheart. Where are you going in such a hurry?” He said, standing much closer to me than I allowed anyone to.

I shoved him away from me and he stumbled back, looking shocked and angry.

I turned to walk away and he ran up and grabbed my arm.

“HEY YOU STUPID BITCH LEARN HOW TO TAKE A COMPLIM –” He broke off as my fist slammed into his face, breaking his nose, and without pausing I grabbed his neck and dragged him into the nearest alleyway.

I threw him into the wall and I heard something else crack and he dragged himself away from me, no longer thinking this was funny.

“What the fuck! You crazy fucking –” He was cut short when I planted a kick in his ribcage and I picked him up by the throat and growled in his face.

“I don’t allow _filth_ to speak to me that way.” I growled and threw him down the alleyway.

“Learn to keep your foul tongue behind your teeth, or I will _rip it out_.” I spat and turned on my heel to leave the alley and walk quickly down the sidewalk.

Damn idiot interrupted my train of thought.

Oh yeah, SHEILD.

I needed to find out where they were located; surely they had an archive that contained their files on me, files that needed destroyed.

I ducked into a coffee shop and sure enough there were people busy typing on laptops at most of the tables.

I sat down across from a girl with long blonde hair and she glanced up at me in confusion and opened her mouth but I waved my hand and she snapped her jaw shut and sat up and put her hands in her lap.

I slid her laptop across the table, opening up a new tab on the browser.

S.H.E.I.L.D I typed in and clicked on the first link.

Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division the title said and it had an emblem of an eagle.

There wasn’t a lot on the website, but I learned that the headquarters was located in Washington D.C. which was probably twenty minutes from here. I paused, staring through the screen.

No… no I would have to get there another way. SHEILD would certainly notice if I appeared there in a cloud of smoke.

I looked up from the screen at the blank faced girl.

“I need to get to Washington D.C.” I told her, closing the window and deleting it from her history.

“Take a cab.” She said distantly.

“That takes too long.” I said.

“Take a plane.” She replied.

I pursed my lips. That would be the fastest way to get there but… I would be trapped if I got onto a plane.

I scowled and looked up at the girl again.

“Where is the nearest airport?” I asked her.

She frowned. “LaGuardia. In Queens.”

I nodded and stood up and walked out of the café.

I ducked into an alley and morphed into a shadow and rushed toward where I thought Queens was.

I found it after an hour of looking and walked into the airport and up to the nearest desk.

“I need to get to Washington D.C.” I told the old man.

He looked at me strangely. “When?”

“As soon as possible.”

“Well you can’t just march in here and demand to get on a flight the same –” His face went blank like the girl in the café’s had.

He looked at the computer. “The next flight leaves at two but it’s full.” He said simply.

“Thank you.” I said, erasing his memory and I walked away.

Just being here was getting on my nerves, there were too many people and too many noises and I felt like Coulson was going to jump out from behind a pillar and apprehend me, but no one looked at me twice as I got in line for security.

Without even saying anything I put a block on everyone’s mind that was in the vicinity and the security guards let me go through without looking at me.

I found the flight on a directory board and made my way to the right terminal. I watched the people that were going to get on the same flight, listening to their conversations.

I fixated on one man that was jabbering away on an earpiece in an excruciatingly annoying fashion and I made him stop talking and come over to sit next to me.

“You’re going to DC? I asked.

“Yes.” He said.

“Give me your ticket.”

He pulled it out of his briefcase and handed it to me.

Black print on the ticket said that he had seat 3C in first class.

“Good. That is all I needed. Leave and forget this.” I told him and he got to his feet and walked briskly away through the cloud.

It was twelve thirty so I still had a while before the plane left and I sighed and tried to calm myself down.

More people flocked to the terminal and I eyed them all warily.

A little boy with blond curly hair that looked to be around five was watching me curiously.

He tugged on his mother’s arm and she waved him off, engrossed in the conversation she was having on her cellphone.

The boy kept tugging on her hand until she looked down at him in annoyance.

“Andrew, mommy is on the phone.” She told him, frowning.

“Mommy that girl looks weird.” He whispered and I tapped on my phone, pretending that I wasn’t listening and the mother looked angry and glanced at me.

“Andrew that’s rude, don’t interrupt me while I’m on the phone.” She snapped and turned away from him.

I glanced up at the boy from my phone and he looked down at the shield on his shirt, pretending that he wasn’t looking at me.

I suddenly recognized the logo, Loki had morphed into that large blonde man that had wielded it. Why in hell was that child wearing that shield?

After several minutes he slowly got up from the seat he was on and inched cautiously over to me.  

I glanced at him as he stood next to me, too curious about me to stay away but still wary of me.

“Why d’you look like that?” He asked.

“Look like what?” I replied.

He pointed at my head. “Most people don’t have those.”

I absently lifted a hand to touch my horns. This child could see through my disguise as well?!

I shrugged. “I’m different I guess.”

He seemed to decide that I wasn’t scary so he sat down on the bench next to me.

“Are you a monster?” He asked.

“I guess so.” I shrugged.

He squinted at me again. “You don’t act like a monster.”

I chuckled. “Well I’m not right now.”

“So you do act like a monster sometimes?”

“Everyone acts like a monster sometimes.” I said. “What’s that on your shirt?”

He looked down at the shield and his face lit up. “That’s Captain America’s shield!”

“Who’s Captain America?” I asked.

“Captain America’s awesome!” He said enthusiastically. “He beat up bad guys in the war and he helped the Avengers save New York from the aliens!”

The relaxed manner left my face when I registered what he was talking about. Loki had tried to take over New York, that’s why he was captured. Holy fucking shit was that such a widely known incident that even this child new of it?

“Why do you look scared?” He asked.

I came out of my own thoughts and glanced out of the windows. “Planes scare me.”

“Planes don’t scare me.” He said proudly. “They’re just like busses only they fly.”

I laughed and the intercom announced that first class was boarding for D.C.

“Well I have to go get on the plane.” I told him, standing up.

“Don’t be scared, okay? Be brave like Captain America.” The boy told me innocently.

I smiled sadly. “I’ll try to be.”

I got on the plane without trouble and I sat in my seat and thought about the invasion. I hadn’t paid any attention to the matter when it happened, it hadn’t concerned me at the time. Who were these other Avengers, were they still around? What if one of them found Loki?

I was a stressed out mess by the time everyone was on the plane, the little boy and his mother were some of the last people to get on and he noticed how scared and nervous I was. He darted up to be and held out an action figure of Captain America to me.

“Here, you need him more than I do.” He said, beaming. “It’ll be okay.”

I was too stunned to do anything but nod and he grinned at me and scurried away to find his mother.

I was completely overwhelmed by this, by this little boy seeing that I was different and seeing that I was scared and reaching out to me and giving me this toy to make me brave. I put my face down in my hand and let out a tiny sob, tears pricking my eyes.

Oh by the gods I wasn’t prepared for _this._ I could weather a thousand storms and bear death and pain and cruelty without flinching but this _kindness_ shook me to my core.

I was bawling like a child and I didn’t care. I didn’t care who saw me like this, my heart was _melting._

I sniffled and sat up, wiping my face.

We were in the air now, leaving the ground far below us and I smiled.

I guess he had made me brave.


	22. Chapter 22

The plane ride only lasted about an hour and I stared out of the window and absently moved the action figure around in my hands. I didn’t feel quite so trapped on the plane and I kept my thoughts away from that and instead focused on the sounds of the other people on the plane talking.

The plane landed in D.C. at around three thirty and we all got out of the plane and I just sort of stood around, not knowing what to do with myself.

I saw the little boy from across the busy room and he spotted me and waved at me enthusiastically. I waved back and his mother led him by the hand out of my sight.

I pocketed the little Captain America and left the airport, my chin held high.

The headquarters of SHEILD wasn’t difficult to find but it was behind a lot of security walls and checkpoints and the like. I melted into a shadow well away from the facility and I snuck into the building without raising suspicion.

I stayed quiet and listened to the people talking for a while before I heard someone mention the archives and I quickly darted in between the shadows of the people to find them. The person that had said something about the archives was a younger man with thick glasses that was chatting with a less than enthusiastic looking blonde woman and I hid myself in the man’s shadow.

He boarded an elevator and went down three levels from the main floor. Humming servers lined the walls and there were innumerable computers on desks and I moved up to wrap around the man and he became rigid.

Like a marionette held by a child, he twitched and stumbled over to one of the computers.

“Bring up files on the monsters that Shield is currently hunting.” I told the boy and he began typing on the computer.

Images flickered on the screen of large feral beast and a skeletal woman with enormous black eyes and I frowned. I didn’t know that there were creatures like those that lived on Midgard. An image of a cloud of smoke appeared on the screen.

“Stop.” I told the boy and he obeyed. “Pull up the files on the smoke.”

An image of me strapped down and unconscious appeared on the screen.

Name: Unknown.

Species: Unknown.

Powers: Can morph into smoke, very fast, very strong.

Wanted for: Possibly dozens of accounts of murder.

Warnings: Usually eats victims, can be trapped in an airtight prison. Extremely dangerous.

Status: Roaming.

I smirked.

“Delete the files.” I told the boy.

It took him twenty or so minutes to get past all of the firewalls and encryptions, but he managed it.

He stared blankly at the screen, waiting for another order. I bit at the inside of my lip. Surely… since Loki had wrought destruction on New York… they would likely have files on him too?

“Bring up files on Loki Friggason.” I told the boy.

An error came on the screen and I frowned. There weren’t any files under ‘Loki Friggason’.

“Try the New York invasion.” I told him.

A second of typing and all sorts of images came up, videos of the Chitauri blowing things up, the Avengers attempting to fight back the horde of them. There was Captain America and his enormous shield. A thickly muscled green giant, leaping between the buildings. Thor on top of the Chrysler building. A red and gold robot which held someone named Tony Stark and I realized that I had been in the home of an Avenger only a few hours ago. A red haired woman bringing down the Chitauri with no weapons at all. A man with a bow and a quiver of arrows that was nearly as good in hand to hand combat as the woman. And then there was Loki.

He was dressed in full armor, wielding some staff that I hadn’t seen before and a helmet with large horns on it. He was fighting Thor, throwing Stark out of a window, leading the invasion. I wished I had been there.

“Pull up the files on Loki.” I instructed.

Name: Loki Laufeyson.

Species: Jotun.

Powers: Teleporting, manipulation, magic.

Status: Deceased.

There was a security video called ‘Tesseract malfunction/Portal Opening’ and I told the boy to click on it.

It showed a large room with several computer monitors and people in lab coats scurrying around. The time was 3:07:38 A.M. They were somewhere called the Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility, Western Division, Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. There was a glowing blue _something_ encased in a reactor of some sort. Several minutes went by and people came and went and people poked at the blue energy and nothing happened. The blue thing suddenly pulsed and sent out sparks and the camera shook as if the ground had quaked. A beam of icy light shot from the source and at the end of the beam a portal opened up and I saw stars through it and I leaned closer to the screen.

The gateway seemed to burst, emitting blue misty light, and there was someone kneeling where the portal had just been. Loki.

He had the scepter in his hand and he was kneeling, seeming unstable and the blue light swirled around him.

He stood up and the camera zoomed in on his face and I was startled to see that he looked _sick._

His eyes were dark and pitted and he looked completely gaunt and his skin glistened with sweat. He was grinning like a madman at the guards that were approaching him. He shot at them with the scepter and he killed everyone in the room except for a few who he seemed to hypnotize because he touched the scepter to their chests and they became docile. The camera focused on his face, and yes, with more lighting he seemed… malnourished. Dehydrated. Deranged. He looked just like I probably had when I had taken in the Aether.

He had his minions collect the blue cube which I realized had to be the Tesseract and he left. Now that he wasn’t fighting, I noticed that he limped when he walked and he nearly fell down once. What the hell?

There was another video labeled ‘Helicarrier Holding Cell’ that depicted a lot of Loki standing around in a circular glass cell. The video sped through several hours and eventually someone came and let Loki out. I slowed down the footage and Thor tried to tackle Loki into the cell but he flew through Loki and Loki’s illusion disappeared as the cell doors closed on Thor. Loki moved to a control panel and went to touch it but someone confronted him and I realized that it was Coulson. Loki appeared behind Coulson and stabbed through the chest and he fell to the ground. Loki stalked back to the control panel and pressed a button, sending the cell Thor was in through a chute in the floor and it hurtled down from the helicarrier.

None of this really surprised me, but I re-watched the video of him appearing using the Tesseract several more times. I studied Loki’s face and I frowned. _What in the Nine had happened to Loki after he fell from Asgard?_

Uneasy, I ordered the man to leave the building.

He did and I abandoned him as he drove through the streets of D.C. I materialized on the sidewalks and stumbled and I heard the man crash his car into a telephone pole behind me. I glanced back and saw him fall out of his car, dazed but unhurt.

I hastened away from the scene, not paying attention to where I was going and I found myself in front of a large rectangular pool reflecting some tall pointed monument and I sat down at the edge of it, stunned.

I was going to have to just ask Loki what had happened. I couldn’t be unknowledgeable any longer. And, as I recalled again, I had seen that scar on his belly, which I hadn’t imagined though it had been weeks since I saw it.

I exhaled heavily and pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes. Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki. What did you do?

I sighed heavily and got to my feet and started walking.

Who was I supposed to talk to about this? I had no one to go to for advice other than Loki. I could travel back to Asgard to speak with Thor I supposed, but... 

I wandered through the streets of D.C. and the sun began to sink below the horizon. The wind picked up and I found myself shivering, wishing to be back in our apartment.

I looked up to realize that I had no idea where I was, the monuments and official looking buildings were gone and I seemed to be in a less favorable part of the city.

I didn’t mind though. It wasn’t like shield agents regularly patrolled cities. Or. Maybe they did. I didn’t know.

I was cold and worried and I wished to be back with Loki. I had had enough of this city and the next car that passed by me found an unwanted guest in their back seat.

The man didn’t call out and I instructed him to get me out of the city.

A little under an hour later I felt as if I was adequately away from the Shield headquarters, so I left the car and morphed into smoke and rushed as fast as I dared back to New York City.

I was nearly back to the flat when I realized that Loki had asked me to get food from the store. What… what sort of things would he want from a store?

I solidified on the streets which had a surprising amount of people on them considering how dark and windy and cold it was getting to be, but after a while I found somewhere that looked like it sold food.

The door chimed as I walked into the little shop and I slowly wandered down the aisles. Had Loki actually requested anything specific, or did he just say food?

I saw someone pushing a metal wire cart full of packages of food so I wandered up to the front of the store and grabbed a cart as well.

I threw things in that looked appetizing. Bread. Chocolate. Vodka that claimed it was peach flavored. Strawberries. I saw a can of whipped cream and a few other yummy looking things in someone else’s cart and I took them and made the person keep quiet. Ice cream. A couple cans of likely watery soup. Milk? Pink soap. Not apples. More bread. Butter. Pancake mix. Hot sauce. Cheese. A chicken. More ice cream. Coffee. Creamer that was flavored like candy to go in the coffee. Gummy candy. Some vegetables that Loki might be able to do something with. More meat. Flour. Eggs. Red velvet cake. A mug that said ‘world’s okayest entry level employee on it’. The cart was full now.

I decided that I would be civil and I pushed the cart up to the register to pay for all of the food. The girl working on the register didn’t seem to care in the slightest that I was buying such an odd assortment of things.

With at least six bags on each arm, I left the store and walked a few blocks to our apartment.

Loki was lying on the couch by a fireplace that he had apparently put in while I was gone, reading, and when I came in he put the book down and glanced up at me.

“Where in the Nine did you go, Vey?” He asked, rising and walking over to me.

“D.C.” I replied, setting the plastic bags of food down on the table.

He frowned slightly. “Whatever for?”

“I went to Shield’s headquarters to get rid of information that they had on me.” I said casually, putting the groceries away.

“Oh.” Loki said, confused. “I could have gone with you.”

I shrugged. “You were at work. Besides it went fine; what little information they had on me was destroyed and I wasn’t detected.”

Loki’s tired eyes moved to the packages of food. “Why did you buy so much ice cream?”

I raised my hands. “I dunno. Want to help me eat some of it?”

Loki smirked. “If I must.”

We sat on the couch and each ate an entire carton of ice cream by ourselves. Loki ate it faster than I did, I noticed[VT1] [VT2] [VT3] .

Loki and I laid down together on the couch, Loki put his head on my belly and I ran my fingers through his hair, deeply immersed in my own mind.

I needed to know what had happened to Loki after he fell from Asgard. I needed to know what really had happened on Svartalfhiem. The voice in my head was driving me mad and I couldn’t stand not knowing any longer.

“Loki?” I asked quietly.

“Yes Vey?” Loki replied.

I hesitated for a moment. “What… happened… after you fell from the Bifrost?” I asked finally.

Loki didn’t say anything for a minute. He stared up at the ceiling, his eyes glazed over like he could see the horrors that he had faced in the dark depths of the realms.

He sat up, facing the fire and the flames flickered in his wide eyes.

“I found myself in darkness…” He mused, his voice shaking slightly. “I don’t know how long I was stuck like that, but it was like being dead. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even hear; all there was was the never ending darkness invading my eyes and the burning in my throat that told me I was still screaming.

“After a while I was dragged out of the void and I was relieved that someone had finally found me. My relief was short-lived, as I soon found myself being tortured for information about who I was. I had no choice but to tell everything that I knew in a desperate attempt to ease some of the agony; I told of my brother and the frost giants and my failed plan to rule Asgard and my heritage and killing Laufey and my time spent in the castle. This stopped the torture for a time and I was tossed into a cell to recover somewhat. I couldn’t sleep, as exhausted as I was. The suffering was too much to give me even the briefest respite from consciousness.

“But, I was hauled out of my cell and brought before the most monstrous creature in all the Nine realms. I was to spy on a Midgardian, I was not to ask questions. If I stepped out of line I would be _severely_ punished.

“I did as I was told, afraid of the consequences of rebellion. When I did make an error I was branded and thrown into hell and I did everything I could to appease my captors.

“I was a broken being.

“Eventually, after two long years, I was given a scepter and the instructions to take over Midgard for my captors.

“Weak and eager for a chance to ensure that I wouldn’t be tortured anymore, I did what I was instructed to and I came to Midgard using the Tesseract. I attempted to take over the planet, but I was thwarted and taken back to Asgard to live in that cell in which you met me.”

I stared numbly at the wall without really seeing it. I was seeing Loki; burned beyond recognition, begging and screaming for death as a pair of purple, cracked, lips smiled, relishing in Loki’s suffering. I saw Loki stripped naked and lashed for so long that he had collapsed onto the floor in a river of his own blood, tears streaming down his face. I saw him being forced to look into a mirror, unrecognizable because of his black bruises for eyes and swollen, bloody skin.

It was too much – I – I was going to be sick.

I gasped and fled into the bathroom, collapsing in front of the toilet. I stared down at the tiled floor, shaking violently and I began coughing like a creature _just_ saved from drowning.

I did end up vomiting, all of it that damned vanilla ice cream I had eaten, and I continued coughing and gasping because I couldn’t stop. Oh gods. _Oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods._

I wasn’t sick again and eventually I stopped coughing. I sat hunched against the bathroom wall, sobbing so hard that I would have been sick again had there been anything left in my stomach.

“Vey?” Loki asked, hovering on the other side of the door. “Vey are you alright?”

I looked up and stared at the door, unable to stop gasping. “Ju-just a s-second.” I managed between convulsions.

I swallowed hard and got to my feet, flushing the toilet and grabbing my toothbrush. I scrubbed at my teeth so hard that my mouth bled and I spat a good amount of blood into the sink and stood hunched over it, gripping the marble of the counter.

I willed the door to crack open and Loki came in. He squeezed my shoulder and I swallowed hard and squeezed his hand.        

After several minutes I quit shaking and I slowly stood upright. Loki’s bright eyes were studying me in the reflection of the mirror.

“Loki.” I rasped.

“Yes Vey?” He asked.

I turned and looked up at him, anger bubbling up over the shock I had felt.

 “I will have the blood of the being that tortured you.” I rasped harshly.

Loki’s eyes widened and he grabbed my shoulders.

“Vey you mustn’t _ever_ go hunting for him.” He said loudly, startling me. “You will never be within range of that _thing_ while I still live.” He clasped my neck, his eyes wide. “Vey promise me you will never go looking for Thanos.”

Thanos. My stomach twisted at the name and I felt ill again.

“ _Vey_?” Loki repeated, a crazed, desperate look in his eyes. “ _Promise me_!”

“I will never try to find… Thanos.” I vowed after a minute. “…I swear it.”

Loki’s maniac expression softened and he nodded slowly, pressing his forehead against mine.

“Vey I love you. I love you too much to allow you to be in that monster’s presence.” Loki quaked. “Do you understand? I would suffer as I did a thousand times if it meant keeping you away from him.”

I nodded, tears pricking my eyes again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held me against him, squeezing me like he never intended to let go.

“I love you.” He repeated thickly.

“I love you too.” I whispered.

I stared at us in the mirror, my rage still boiling my stomach.

A crack appeared in the glass, snaking around the reflection of Loki. Never again would Thanos so much as look at him. **_Never._**


	23. Chapter 23

The next morning I woke up early to bright white light filling our apartment.

I sat up and squinted at the window. I slid out of bed and shivered as my feet touched the cold wood floor. I padded up to the window and my eyes widened.

A thick blanket of snow had fallen over the city, big white puffs were still falling from the dove gray sky and I placed my hand on the frosty window, awestruck.

I hadn't seen snow in… how long? A thousand years?

I had been to Jotunheim of course, but that world was always blue ice more than snow. It never snowed so calmly there.

Within five minutes I was dressed and outside.

The snow had been trampled flat on the sidewalks but there were several inches piled up on the lampposts and street signs. I wandered down the streets for a while, staring up at all of the snow coated skyscrapers.

I noticed that there were a lot of colorful lights strung up in many of the shop windows and it looked like many places were displaying pine trees decorated in glass bulbs and lights. I wandered into Times Square and I noticed a lot of the advertisements were for gifts, proclaiming that you should buy whatever for someone, that someone would be delighted by whatever product.

I wanted to know what was going on, what sort of festival was approaching, but just then I caught the scent of some greasy food drifting through the air. Usually this wouldn't bother me, I was used to a hundred different smells and the noise of so many humans packed together, but suddenly I felt nauseous. I stopped by a lamppost to steady myself but all at once the lights and the noise and the hot, smelly bodies of all of the humans was just too much for me.

I turned around and walked briskly away from the place, my stomach twisting unpleasantly.

I marched down the street for a while, trying to detect where the least amount of stench was and my nose eventually lead me to Central Park.

The awful smell lessened as I walked, the heavy odor of burning gasoline and sweat and blood faded into the smell of fresh, clean snow and frost. The cold was definitely helping as well and I found a bench in front of a large snowy hedge to sit on and I focused on settling my stomach. A few people walked by but none of them looked at me twice, the snow packing under their feet as they went by.

The nausea went away now that I was in the quieter air and I glanced up at the trees. The bare branches were drooping under the weight of the snow and the entire park was glowing.

I walked around for an hour or so, fascinated by the ice-caked statues and frosty bridges.

Someone had been walking about fifteen feet behind me for several minutes now, and I decided that they were indeed following me. I hadn't tasted blood in a while now, maybe if I did it would help my queasy stomach.

I swung my hips back and forth as I walked and I wandered out of the park. I caught a glimpse of him, a fit, white, 45 something that reeked of expensive cologne and bad intentions. I smirked. This city would be better without him.

I lead him behind a building, slowing down to allow him to catch up to me.

I turned, feinting surprise and the man leered at me.

"How old are you?" He demanded and I raised my eyebrows.

"Excuse me?" I said flatly.

He narrowed his eyes. I saw a glint of metal in his hand.

"You're…  _older_  than I usually pursue, but your primary colored hair is just so revolting that I thought you needed to be taught a lesson." He growled.

I gawked at him. ?

I started laughing, loudly and richly and the man's face contorted in rage.

"You – Fucking –" I managed between barks of laughter " _Psychopath_!"

I was laughing so hard that I had to lean against the side of the building and the man stalked toward me.

"Listen you stupid little  _slut_!" He roared. "Do you have any  _fucking_  idea who I am!?"

"I know who you are." A new voice interrupted.

The man and I both swung around to see a woman with long red hair and a soft lovely face that was pinched in anger standing a few feet away.

I stopped laughing out of surprise and the man lunged at me, likely to press his meager weapon against my throat in an attempt to hold me hostage, but the woman was far too swift for him.

She grabbed his hand with the knife and twisted and I heard his wrist snap. She took him down easily, kicking his knee and sending him crashing to the pavement.

She leapt on him and put him in a hold that squashed his face against the icy asphalt and rendered him looking like a child being held down by a much older sibling.

"Are you alright?" She asked me nonchalantly.

"I… Yeah." I managed, awestruck that a human could move so fast.

"This guy's been stalking girls around here for months now." The woman explained, using a nearby wire to tie the man to a pipe. She glanced up at me, her sharp blue eyes musing over me. "You didn't seem to be too worried about him, though."

I pursed my lips and shrugged.

The woman's eyes grazed over my face and the man whimpered. I suddenly realized that this woman's face wasn't new to me and I wracked my brain trying to figure out who she was.

"Well, the police have enough evidence to convict him, especially with this recording." She said, tossing a black device onto the ground. "I don't plan on waiting for them though."

The woman studied me for a second. Her eyes were like Loki's often were; calculating and intelligent and cold. Then it clicked; she was one of the Avengers, one of the heros who fought against the Chitauri! I didn't recognize her immediately due to her longer straight hair, but it was her without a doubt. What was her name again?

"I'll see you around." She said suddenly and began down the alley away from us.

I glanced down at the man, hogtied and pitiful. Well I couldn't eat him now.

"Hey, wait!" I called after the woman, running to catch up to her.

She glanced over at me, unsure.

"Um." I started, not wanting to drive this mysterious woman away. "I feel like I should buy you lunch or something." We had made it back to the streets now. "Because, you know, he could have killed me or something."

The woman didn't look at me, but I could tell she was seeing straight through my thin ruse of being helpless.

"What's your name?" I asked, curious about this woman.

"Natasha." She answered in a voice that almost sounded hoarse, but I supposed it was just the way she spoke. She seemed fixated for a moment on a stranger on the other side of the street, someone that I noticed seemed to be listening to an earpiece. "And I suppose that I can't turn down free food. Ever been to Magnolia Bakery?" She asked, turning sharply down a street we were crossing.

I turned around to look at the man she had been staring at and his eyes met mine. With a flick of my wrist he fainted and a woman exclaimed and I turned back around and followed Natasha, smirking.

Natasha led me to a café, a bright place with lots of sweets behind glass cases.

She got a tiny pie with spices and what smelled like pumpkin and I got some cookies and something called a 'double shot cupcake' made of coffee and a lot of creams and sugar.

"So what's your name?" Natasha asked, her eyes flicking from scanning outside of the shop to rest on my face.

"Vey." I heard myself say without thinking. I didn't know why I had said that, lying would have been safer.

"Hm." Natasha mused, taking a bite of her pie. "Unique name."

I shrugged, sipping the coffee. "It's a pet name."

I felt sort of queasy again and I watched the cars go by outside on the street. Cheery music about a 'winter wonderland' was drifting through the air.

"Are you feeling alright?" Natasha asked, noticing my uneasiness.

"Yeah." I sighed. "I mean, I've felt sort of sick all day. I must be coming down with something." I remembered hearing someone use that phrase and I decided that it fit.

"Mm." She mused. "You're not dressed all that warmly so…"

She trailed off and I realized her blue eyes had fallen on the Captain America action figure I was moving around in my hands, something I had started doing whenever I was unsettled.

Natasha's face split into a grin and she chuckled.

I lowered my eyebrows questioningly. "What?"

"Nothing." She smiled. "Are you big into super heroes?"

"I don't know." I smirked, mirroring her good mood. "This was a gift. I've just taken to carrying it around with me."

Natasha watched me fiddle with the toy. "Most people that move to New York are. Especially since Stark lives here."

I opened my mouth to ask how she knew that I hadn't grown up here when Natasha's phone went off.

"Oh." She said, checking the screen. "Sorry, but I have to take this."

I nodded and she answered the phone.

"Hey. Yeah? In – oh, okay. No problem." She hung up and glanced at me apologetically.

"I have to go, I'm on call today." She sighed. "I'm lucky to have been left alone this long, really."

"That's fine." I assured her, smiling. "Again, thank you."

Natasha smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

She left and I stared down into my sugary coffee which suddenly seemed unappetizing.

I left the bakery, hoping to settle my stomach by walking some more because it had worked more or less last time.

I made my way around the city, not having a destination and being content watching the people and looking at the multicolored lights that adorned shop windows and building eaves. I was hungry, not for sweets or fruit or bread. I needed flesh, I needed life. That's probably why I felt so sick; I hadn't hunted in … how long?

A big smelly bus passed me and I disappeared, twisting down into a nearby storm drain. I moved around like that for a while, peering out of the grates, watching humans.

The sun went down and still I waited patiently. I didn't  _want_  to put to death just anyone. I didn't used to care what life I took but now that I had been living among the humans it was as easy to be indiscriminant.

I caught the scent of spilled blood from my hiding place and I eased out of the drain, careful not to be seen.

There wasn't anyone to see me now; I was among already-deserted office buildings and the snowy streets were barren.

I tracked the smell to one of the closed buildings and I made my way in under the door.

I shed my disguise as I prowled the building and my nose lead me to a door on the top floor.

The blood smell was thick here – whatever was bleeding was on the verge of death if it hadn't expired already.

My stomach growling, I burst through the door to see a man in a business suite lying on the polished granite floor in a pool of his own blood.

I stalked up to him, kneeling to inspect him.

He was beyond saving anyway – he was alive but he was suffering and I could sense his heart slowing down.

He had apparently been shot; three small holes were dug into his chest, his blood soaking his gray jacket.

I heard a shoe scrape against the floor and I whipped around to see a young man, no older than twenty, studying me.

"Are you here to take me to Hell?" He asked, sounding more curious than afraid. I noticed he held a revolver in his left hand.

"…Possibly." I mused. I glanced back down to the dying man. "Why did you kill him?"

The boy's eyes rolled down to him. "His… wife… told me that she would marry me if she didn't have him."

I scrunched up my nose. "She likely lied. If she had cared for you she would have just left him."

The boy's face contorted into rage and I saw him move to lift his gun, but I threw a knife of smoke at him and he howled as it embedded in his shoulder.

I ran and pounced on him, slamming him into the floor.

"What a waste of life." I muttered, digging my talons into his chest.

He threw his head back and screamed and I sunk my teeth into his throat and ripped an enormous hole into it.

I swallowed, savoring the metallic, salty taste. I stripped the man of most of his flesh, drinking up the precious life that he held.

I wasn't interrupted at all this time, no one would see the slaughter until the morning.

When I had eaten until I was full, I left the building and headed back to Loki and I's apartment.

Loki was lounging on the couch and he smiled at me when I came in.

"Good evening, darling." He purred as I sat down next to him. He kissed my cheek. "How was your day?"

"Uneventful." I yawned. "I felt sick all day though, so I went hunting and I'm hoping that will help."

Loki frowned. "Did you catch the Midgardian flu? It doesn't seem like you would, but I suppose –"

"No, no, not like that. I felt ready to vomit all day." I mumbled, lying down with my head in his lap.

"Hm." Loki frowned. "I could give you something for it."

"Oh god, please."

Loki chuckled got up and went into our room to get something and I sighed and stretched on the couch. He returned a minute later with a pale purple potion in a glass and I downed it without hesitation.

The potion tasted vaguely chalky but it did settle my stomach down almost right after I drank it and I sighed in relief and scooted next to Loki.

"I get off early tomorrow." Loki told me, his tired eyes scanning the pages of the book he was reading. "Would you like to go to Rockefeller Center?"

"Sure." I mumbled, not knowing what that was. "Let's go to bed, I'm tired."

"Of course, darling." Loki said warmly, marking his place in his book and putting it down.

I lifted my arms up, having no intention of actually getting up to go to bed, and Loki laughed. He scooped me up and I kissed his cheek as he carried me into our room.

Loki laid down next to me and wrapped his arms around my middle and I yawned.

"Night Loki." I mumbled.

"Goodnight darling." Loki said

A gut wrenching scream ripped through the silent air.

My muscles all tensed up and my eyes flew open and I sat bolt upright, my eyes wildly trying to find the source of the noise.

Loki was thrashing next to me, his body tangled up in the blankets and he was  _wailing_  like he was burning.

"LOKI!?" I shouted panic setting in, throwing the blankets off of myself. "LOKI WHAT'S WRONG?!"

He didn't seem to hear me and screams continued to rip out of his chest and he continued to writhe like his body was being broken.

"LOKI!" I screamed over him, grabbing his writsts and pinning them to the bed so that he wouldn't hurt himself.

That seemed to trigger him into an even more violent frenzy and his eyes flew open and a horrible, tortured scream was drawn out from deep within his chest and it was so horrible that I released him and tumbled off of the bed.

I turned the bedside lamp on watched, horrified as he kept thrashing and screaming like he was dying and I didn't know what to do.

I tried another tactic, I morphed into smoke and cautiously poked at him, trying to figure out what was wrong.

He didn't seem to actually be  _hurt_ , but if he was alright he wouldn't be seizing like this.

All of a sudden he stopped writhing and he collapsed onto the bed. His eyes were closed and he was panting like he had just been running for miles.

"Loki?" I quaked, carefully inching up to him on the other side of the bed.

I put my hand on his cheek and I was surprised at how hot he was, his face glistened in sweat and his chest heaved as he desperately panted for air.

After a minute his eyes slowly fluttered open and he swallowed.

"Darling?" I asked, my voice trembling and tears running down my face.

His eyes moved over to me and he winced.

"I'm… I'm fine dove… I just…" He croaked, looking like someone who had just gotten over a horrible bout of illness. "I was having a nightmare…"

I wanted to burst into tears and latch onto him, but that wasn't what he needed now.

His eyes drifted partially closed and I got up to fetch him a glass of cold water and a cold cloth to put on his forehead.

He propped himself up and downed the entire glass of water.

We spent several minutes in silence, Loki panting and trying to recover from whatever the hell that was and I couldn't find my voice.

He sighed and swiveled his head to look at me, his green eyes dull and tired.

I didn't say anything and I held out my arms and he gratefully went into them, I held him against my chest and ran my fingers through his hair.

We stayed like that until faint dawn light could just be seen through the curtains in our bedroom.

"You should call Stark and tell him you can't come in today." I mumbled, ending the silence.

Loki sighed. "I would prefer to stay busy, it would help to keep my mind on other things."

I frowned. "Are you sure you aren't ill? I haven't seen you do anything like that before."

Loki shrugged and buried his face in my belly.

I pursed my lips and watched him, worry gnawing at my belly.

Living here instead of on Asgard was easier sure, but I had foolishly thought that our problems would cease to exist once we were here. Oh how wrong I was to think that.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bc what else would you do on a date besides necromany and ice skating

I didn't follow Loki to work.

I made him promise to text me often so that I knew that he was alright, and I felt sort of guilty about not following after him.

But I just felt so damn tired.

I stayed curled up in bed for most of the morning, feeling too heavy to move.

My phone chirped and I slowly moved to check it.

 _Darling please don't lie in bed all day._ The screen read.

 _I could have gotten up by now you dont know._ I typed back _._

_I know you better than that, though._

I smirked half-heartedly.

I got out of bed and pulled on a large sweater and leggings and sat on a cushion Loki had put on the windowsill that I liked to sit on.

The city was humming despite the blanket of snow, cars carefully weaved down the streets dusted with salt. People were going about their days in spite of the cold.

I pressed my forehead against the cool glass. I was sweating now, my stomach was lurching horribly. I groaned and closed my eyes.  _By the gods why was I being punished like this_?

My stomach lurched violently and my eyes flew open.

I took off and ran into the bathroom.

I ended up throwing up most of that stupid kid I had eaten the previous night and it was a disgusting sight to see all of that blood and gore in the toilet.

I stayed there, propping my head up and squeezing my eyes closed for a while.

"Fuck…" I muttered weakly.

I flushed the toilet and took a cold shower and got back into my sweater and leggings.

Strangely enough, I felt fine now. Almost hungry even.

I vigorously brushed my teeth and marched out of the apartment.

I wanted to speak with Natasha; maybe I  _had_  contracted some Midgardian virus. Surely she would be able to advise me on what to do.

I forgot about feeling sick completely as I gulped in the cold clean air; I even smiled at one or two strangers. I felt fantastic.

I found Magnolia Bakery again and I got a large chocolate muffin and sat at the same table that I had sat with Natasha at before.

I was pleased and surprised when Natasha wandered in about an hour later; she must have actually wanted to see me again or she could have easily avoided this café.

"Hey Vey." Natasha smiled when she saw me, sitting down across from me with a coffee.

"Hi." I beamed. "How are you?"

"I'm good except that I can't feel the tip of my nose." Natasha replied.

I laughed.

"So did that man that you caught following me get arrested?" I asked.

"Mm-hm." Natasha nodded and swallowed her coffee. "Of course, he's so rich that he won't get the just amount of jail time… if he gets any at all."

I frowned. Maybe I should just kill him after all.

Natasha observed me for an instant in such a piercing way that I vaguely wondered if she could hear what I was thinking, but her gaze softened immediately.

"I actually just stopped by here to get some coffee; I have a lot of shopping that I still need to do." Natasha said, glancing out of the window. "Have you gotten all of your Christmas shopping done yet?"

"No." I lied instantly, having no idea what Christmas was. "I haven't done any at all, actually."

Natasha chuckled. "I always leave my shopping for the last minute too. Are you busy today? If not I wouldn't mind if you tagged along with me – I know where some great sales are today."

I gladly accepted and Natasha and I spent several hours wandering around shops and chatting.

I stopped worrying whether or not Natasha liked my company – she seemed to and I was soon laughing with her and finding that I rather liked her.

We departed when Loki got off of work and Natasha put her phone number into my cellphone so that I could just text her instead of waiting around the bakery hoping that she would wander in.

I morphed into smoke and darted to our apartment and found Loki waiting for me on the couch.

"Hello, darling." He purred when I walked in and he stood up to embrace me.

"Are you feeling better, love?" I asked, putting my hands on the sides of his face and frowning in worry.

He smiled, although it was a bit strained. "Better than I did, anyway."

I frowned and kissed his jaw and he grinned.

Loki took me to Rockefeller Center which held an impressive pine tree, all 100 feet of it decorated in multicolored lights and beautiful glass bulbs. Even though it was night, the place couldn't have been brighter and a golden statue of a Greek Titan Prometheus stared down at us, which I found strange.

I was not an apt ice skater as it turned out, I had been with Gwen when I was very young but I had since forgotten how to keep my balance on the thin blades.

I would have spent the entire time sitting in shame on the ice had Loki not had enough balance to hold the both of us up, but even still I managed to knock the both of us down once or twice.

Loki was making it so that none of the spectators looked at us when I would nearly wipe out or flail my arms in an angry circle in an attempt to keep myself upright which was a blessing in itself.

Loki found it vastly amusing that I couldn't manage to keep an ounce of grace while I was on the ice but through his laughter he still managed to catch me for the most part.

I got tired quickly and I casually said that I was ready to go whenever Loki was right before my feet shot out from under me.

Loki forced himself not to howl with laughter and he helped me off of the ice and we got out of our skates and left.

Loki bought us hot chocolate from a street vendor and we wandered around the city and looked at the innumerable strings of lights and ornaments that adorned nearly every building. I said something about necromancy and Loki said that he could raise the dead with no problem.

"Shut up." I said and he snorted. It was very late now, the last clock that I had seen had read 3:47.

"I can, I swear." He retorted.

"Prove it."

Loki smirked. "Very well. Point out the next headstone you see and I'll be happy to show you."

We eventually passed a graveyard called the New York City Marble Cemetery and with a flick of Loki's wrist, the wrought iron gate swung open and allowed us entrance.

"That one." I said, pointing at a weathered white pillar carved to look like it had a white cloth draped over it.

Loki smirked and walked up to the grave. He held his hand over it and murmured something harsh that I couldn't understand and I peered around him curiously.

The earth that had gone undisturbed for years was churning, spewing out chunks of dirt and a smell that reminded me of an ancient musty castle that I had once gone to wafted from the grave.

A clawed hand made entirely out of bone shot up from the shifting ground and grasped the dirt.

A skeletal corpse hauled itself out of the grave, its hollow eyes containing two blue balls of fire. It stood shorter than Loki, its bones dirty and a few rags of whatever it had been buried in hung from its ribcage. Its jaw opened and closed with a creak and it stood there hunched over, the blue lights in its eyes fixed vaguely on the ground.

"Oh my god." I said, thoroughly impressed. "You're going to have to teach me how to do that, I can never  _ever_  get the hang of necromancy."

Loki smirked, looking pleased with himself.

"Does it follow your orders?" I asked curiously, moving to look the golem in the face.

"Yes, it will do whatever I command." Loki replied.

My eyes darted to him, a grin forming on my lips.

"What?" Loki asked, seeming like he already knew the answer.

"Let's go torment people." I begged eagerly. "Pleeeease?"

"Vey we can't just have this corpse wandering the streets –" Loki began and I groaned loudly.

"Oh my god please let me do this." I complained loudly. "You've already gone through the trouble of summoning the thing, let me have some fun!"

Loki pursed his lips and looked down at me, feinting sternness.

"Oh alright." He smirked and I grinned evilly.

Loki hid us both and we left the cemetery, walking behind the shambling corpse. It was so early that people were starting to be out again, unsuspecting business people scurrying to their jobs through the cold.

The first person the skeleton lumbered by didn't even look up, they had their head bowed and they were engrossed in their cellphone and I huffed and Loki chuckled.

After a few minutes however, someone saw the skeleton as they walked toward it and they slowed to a stop, squinting at it. When the skeleton got close enough for the person to realize that it was indeed a skeleton, they screamed loudly and whipped around to run away, crashing into a snowbank headfirst.

The skeleton pursued them into the street, reaching its boney fingers out and letting out a horrible guttural moan.

A car slammed on its horn at the skeleton as it ambled out in front of it and the person leaned out of the window to scream at the skeleton but stopped cold when it limped up and grabbed at them.

The driver screamed loudly as the skeleton tugged on his coat and I was laughing so hard that I felt like I was going to be sick.

The situation soon escalated into an immense traffic jam as people fled from their cars as the skeleton beat on their windows. The corpse didn't actually catch anyone; it was far too slow and if it did manage to grasp onto someone's coat, they would just wiggle out of it admits ear splitting screams.

Police cars soon showed up and Loki made it so that the skeleton could  _sprint_  and that's when all hell really broke loose.

It chased down several police officers, ignoring the bullets going straight through it, and it shrieked and shoved them down to the ground and stomped on them.

It caught a lot of people which it pushed down and screamed at and didn't really  _hurt_  per say, but it was still pretty funny to see people losing their heads and trying to run away from a skeleton that was running six times faster and shrieking like a bat out of hell.

Loki and I were both howling with laughter to the point that I couldn't stand up and I had to sit in the snow and clutch my stomach.

The fun all ended when Stark showed up in one of his suits and blasted the thing apart which disappointed Loki immensely.

There were so many SWAT cars and blaring sirens that we decided to leave and head back to our apartment.

Loki left for work, breathing deeply to compose himself, and I couldn't help snorting with laughter when he kissed me on the cheek.

I texted Natasha to see what she was up to, but she didn't text me back so I tried to take a nap or something but I was too antsy.

I left, melting into a shadow and snaking down into the storm drains. I had bought Loki the mug I had gotten from the grocery store a while ago as well as an emerald colored scarf that was really soft, but I needed something else to give him. I needed to get Natasha something too. They were the only two people that I had to get anything for.

I went to Times Square and appeared there with no trouble and I ended up wandering into the Disney store. As I looked around I got mad at myself for not asking Natasha if she liked cartoony sort of things, if she did this store was perfect. There were cute stuffed animals everywhere and I was  _very_  temped to just grab some of them, but I told myself to wait. Everything in this store was colorful and  _cute as hell_.

I ended up buying Natasha a bean shaped stuffed animal that was a yellow bear called "Winnie The Pooh" that I didn't know if she would like but it was so cute that I had to get it for someone.

I wandered around shops and I found a big stained glass light that was shaped like a star that I bought for Natasha too, but I couldn't think of anything else for Loki.

I ended up back at home, frustrated. I watched some Travel Channel on the TV and my interest was captured when something was said about the most expensive wine in the world.

I watched in interest as the show told me where it was kept and I nodded to myself.

I knew what I was getting Loki for Christmas.

§§§

For the next several days the news was mainly covering the skeleton, showing shaky footage taken from cellphones of the thing sprinting around and screaming. It had been dubbed the Christmas Corpse which displeased Loki, but I thought it was funny.

I woke up a week before Christmas to the smell of pine and I went into the living room to see one of the trees decorated with little balls of multicolored fire sitting in one corner of the living room. Holly and mistletoe lined the ceiling and there were white candles flickering in every window.

I hung out with Natasha a few times, but I mostly stayed home where there weren't any smells to make me sick.

It was two days before Christmas suddenly, but I was excited. I loved the thick snow with more coming down each night, I loved the lights and the pine trees and the late nights spent curled up on the couch with Loki listening to Christmas music.

I went for a walk with Natasha in Central Park to enjoy the cold air and the snowflakes.

"Have you been able to keep anything down this week?" Natasha asked, her steely blue eyes grazing over a snow golem that some children had made with twigs for arms and coal for eyes.

"Not really." I confessed, sighing. "I don't know why it hasn't gone away yet."

Natasha pursed her lips and glanced at me. "You know… you could be pregnant."

I stopped in my tracks, feeling like the ground had lurched. "What?"

"It's a possibility, isn't it?" She asked. "The only way to know for sure is to get a test."

She scanned my face, her expression hardening.

"Are you okay, why do you look like that?" She asked sharply.

"I just… I can't be." I said, staring at the ground.

"Why?"

"I…" I thought of Riheil suddenly, his putrid skin, his yellow eyes, his sharp teeth. I felt sick again.

"A baby of mine wouldn't ever be safe…" I muttered distantly.

"Why?" Natasha demanded. "Vey, tell me why."

I blinked and looked up at her. "I need to go home."

I strode past her quickly, headed to my apartment.

"Vey!" Natasha barked, catching up to me. "Why wouldn't a baby of yours be safe, is someone threatening you? Is it your boyfriend?"

"No, god no, it isn't him." I mumbled.

Natasha checked our surroundings, making sure we weren't being followed.

"Vey if you're in danger I need you to tell me." She hissed quietly. "Whoever is threatening you, I  _promise_ , I can protect you from them."

I shook my head.

" _Vey_." Natasha repeated, harsh and commanding and strangely angry. "Please. Let me help you."

"No one can help me." I breathed.

I willed Natasha to stop walking and to go into a miniature trance, just long enough for me to get away from her back into the crowded city.

I was crying now, shoving past people and breathing irregularly and quickly. Everything seemed blurry and I couldn't think straight and I tripped over my own feet and fell onto the icy concrete, skinning up my knees and my hands.

I didn't get up and people just flowed past me as if I wasn't anything more than a mailbox. Tears fell out of my eyes onto the ground. The salt on the pavement was burning me, I was showing weakness in front of an immense crowd of people, but I couldn't get up.

"Miss?" I heard a voice say. I saw a large hand offering to pull me up. "Miss are you hurt?"

I just stared at the hand, not moving.

Whoever it was gently took my arms and pulled me to my feet. I was too dazed to say anything as I looked up at a man with blonde hair and a square jaw and frowning blue eyes.

"Miss, can you hear me?" He asked, standing out in the river of people like a boulder.

I nodded, unable to say anything. The man helped me get out of the crowd and we stopped under the awning of coffee shop.

The man didn't bombard me with more questions, but his eyes fixed on my cut hands with the blue green pavement salt dug into them.

"I'm gonna go get something to wash the salt out with." He said quietly. "I'll be right back."

He walked past me into the shop and I just stood there, my eyes fixated on the ground. I was still shaking and crying a little, but I was clear headed enough to convince myself to breathe deeply.

The man returned with a wet cloth and he held it out to me. I vaguely thought about how much of a child I was acting like, but I couldn't help myself.

I slowly took it from him and I scraped the salt off of my palms. I sniffed louder than I intended to and my breath hitched halfway through it and I felt like crying again.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly.

I swallowed and nodded.

"I probably look like I'm, like, high or something, but I'm not I swear." I mumbled.

The man gave me a small, sympathetic smile.

"You're not hurt, are you?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No I'm okay. I just got freaked out, you know?"

I glanced up at the guy and I realized that I knew him. Loki had morphed into him, his shield was on countless shirts, and I had a figurine of him in my pocket. Captain America.

"I understand how that is, actually." He told me. "You just start chasing a memory and suddenly you can't remember where you are." He looked down at me and smiled sadly.

 _He isn't lying either_. I thought.  _He had been through a war that had torn the world apart… It doesn't matter where you're from war is always the same_ …

"Thanks for pulling me out of there." I said, scuffing the ground with my shoe. "I should go home where it's quiet."

He nodded. "Can you get there alright?"

"Yeah, I'm mostly okay now." I smiled at him. "Thank you."

He smiled back at me and I wanted to cry again.

I made it back to my building, but I paused. Natasha had said something about a pregnancy test… would those work on my body…?

I backtracked to a convenience store and Christmas carols greeted me as I pushed the door open.

I found one in the health isle by some other products that I didn't even have a guess as to what they were for and I bought it and retreated back to my apartment.

I sat on the couch for a while in silence, collecting myself. My phone kept buzzing in my pocket, but I completely ignored it.

After I had calmed down significantly, I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

6 missed calls and 13 texts from Natasha.

 _im sorry i left like that i just panicked and i needed to go home_  I texted her.

 _omg vey you scared the shit out of me, are you okay?_  Came the instant response.

_yeah im okay. nd im not in danger or anything im just really scared of having a baby_

That wasn't false.

_that's okay, pregnancy is terrifying. i don't blame you._

_i bought a pregnancy test thing_

_have you used it yet?_

_no im scared to_

_even if you are pregnant, it isn't the end of the world. you aren't obligated to carry a baby if you don't want to._

I swallowed hard and squeezed my eyes closed. My phone buzzed in my hands _._

_do you want to go to a doctor to find out instead? i can go with you._

I chuckled a little bit. Going to a doctor would be out of the question; my bones weren't like human bones and I doubted that this illusion went as far as to make all of the inside of my body seem human.

_no thats okay natasha that means a lot to me tho thank you. im gonna go use it brb_

I set the phone down on the coffee table and walked halfway to the bathroom and then turned around and went back for it.

Using the pregnancy test was uncomfortable and waiting for it to set was nerve wrecking. I paced back and forth in the living room. I decided that it was way too quiet so I turned the radio on and some old sounding song was on that soothed my nerves a tiny bit.

I held my hair up in a bun with my hands and grabbed my horns and pulled them around and I let out a loud frustrated shout.

My phone beeped to let me know that two minutes had passed and I ran into the bathroom and seized the pregnancy test off of the sink.

I held up the little piece of plastic with shaking hands and I covered one hand with my mouth and tears pricked at my eyes.

The little red cross became blurry and I started crying loudly; crying that was overjoyed and scared and a million things all at once.


	25. Chapter 25

It was Christmas Eve now and Loki was out doing whatever and I met Natasha in the park before it even opened but it was no trouble to break into.

I flung my arms around her and cried some more and she hugged me and told me that it was okay. I tried to explain to her that I was just as happy and excited as I was terrified but I didn’t do the best job of conveying that to her.

I was in such a weird mood that I just fell backward into the snow and covered my face and laughed until I cried and Natasha sat down next to me in the snow. The snow felt wonderful, cold and comforting and soft. I sat up, snow caked in my hair and I sniffed and smiled at Natasha and she smiled back seeming like she completely understood.

We walked around until the sun rose and I babbled about a lot of things that I probably never should have told any human.

“Vey I don’t want to scare you or anything,” Natasha said abruptly. “But there’s something in the city that’s… well… _eating_ people and whatever it is isn’t human.”

I stared straight ahead. Oops.

“That hasn’t been released to the public.” She said quickly. “But I just want you to be aware, alright? Don’t wander around at night; that seems to be the only time it comes out.”

 _Oops_.

She looked at me. “Do you know of that already though…? Is that what you’re afraid of?” She asked slowly.

I stared at her, pursing my lips. Goddammit.

“No… I’m scared of something else.” I said quietly, reluctant at first and then rushing to get the words all out. “It’s… this _thing_ that’s tall and monstrous. It has leather skin and it smells _awful_ like acid.” I glanced behind us and so did she. “It’s got four arms and yellow eyes and a mouth on its chest. It’s so... fucking fast, I –”

I broke off and Natasha nodded, her eyes fixed intently on my face.

“Its skin burns to touch too.” I added. “It’s called Riheil and please _please_ don’t ask me how I know that.”

“I won’t.” Natasha said firmly. “But I do have to tell the people I work with about it.”

I nodded, knowing who that was, but I asked anyway. “Can they do anything about it though?”

Natasha shrugged. “Maybe.”

I swallowed and nodded again. “Well that’s of some comfort.”

Natasha had a lot of people to visit today so we bid goodbye and she hugged me tightly and told me that if I needed anything to call her.

I went back home and sat on the kitchen counter and stared at the pregnancy test. I still wasn’t convinced that this was some insane dream and that I was actually still floating in the cosmos somewhere.

How the hell was I going to tell Loki?

I realized that I hadn’t wrapped any of the presents, so I spend an hour neatly placing the things I had to give him in two boxes and wrapping them and arranging them under the tree. The radio was still on and I sat on the windowsill and stared out of the window.

I heard the front door handle rattle and Loki pushed the door open with something in his arms. He spotted me and immediately shouted “Hey! No! Close your eyes!”

I looked at him strangely but I closed my eyes and I heard him go into the bedroom and shut the door.

I opened my eyes and he walked back into the living room and looked at me nonchalantly.

“You what?” I asked and he raised one eyebrow.

“Those were your presents, you’re not allowed to look at them until tomorrow.” He told me.

I narrowed my eyes and he frowned. “Vey no.”

I morphed into smoke and solidified next to him and tried to push past them but he grabbed me and picked me up.

I laughed and tried to climb over him but he held on to me and swept me away from the door.

“Vey, honestly.” He laughed as he held my legs and my stomach rested on his shoulder. “You’re not supposed to see them until the morning, that’s one of the traditions of Christmas.”

“But I _want_ to see them now.” I teased, reaching down to pinch his butt.

He jumped a little and chuckled, setting me down on the floor. I stood on my toes and wrapped my arms behind his neck. He glowed down at me and put his hands on my waist and we swayed back and forth lazily to the music.

“Vey you’re going to have to be more careful when you hunt.” Loki said after a while once we had settled on the couch.

I looked at the ground and tried to look innocent. “What do you mean?”

“I mean Stark’s got footage of you leaving the storm drains near his tower.” Loki said seriously. “Using the storm drains to travel was a good idea, yes, but it seems like Stark’s noticed so you’re going to have to be more cautious about using them.”

I nodded, frowning.

“He’s also guessed that you had something to do with the slaughter of two Midgardians that were found in an office building.” He studied me and I looked up at the ceiling where the holly was hanging. “I know for a fact that it was you, but so far he doesn’t have enough evidence to definitively say that it was.”

“How do _you_ know it was me, though?” I asked, trying not to grin.

“Because you always make a mess when you eat.” Loki replied and I smirked. “You only killed one of them though, correct? The other appeared to have died of bullet wounds and you don’t use such weapons.”

“Yeah I just killed the one.” I affirmed. “The other one was shot by the kid I ate.”

Loki nodded, his fingers running through the strands of my long white hair. “Have you killed anyone else since we came here?”

“Surprisingly no.” I mused. “I haven’t been in the mood for hunting lately.”

“You’re getting soft.” Loki teased.

I rolled my eyes. “No I’m getting lazy.”

“Have you eaten today?” He asked, sitting up.

“No I haven’t gotten around to it.”

Loki rolled his eyes and got up to make me dinner.

I sat in his lap while I ate and he read through a book that had a lot of large symbols that looked like spells in it.

“You’re not hungry?” I asked, swallowing a sweet roll.

Loki didn’t look up from his book. “…No, I’m not.”

I stopped chewing and I squinted at him. He had bags under his eyes due to the lack of sleep and, come to think of it, I didn’t know the last time that I saw him eat…

I set the plate down on the coffee table and sighed. Loki glanced at me with hollow eyes and I curled up on the couch with my head in his lap.

He pet my head and ran his fingers through my hair until I fell asleep.

I woke up in the bedroom without him in the night and I stumbled out of bed wrapped up in a blanket and I flopped back onto the couch next to him. I woke up in my room again and I, again, shuffled back into the living room and curled up in Loki’s lap. He gave up trying to put me back in our room and he laid down next to me in our bed so that I’d stay there.

I woke to pale winter light on my face in the morning. The sun was out for the first time in weeks, its weak light cast on only the tallest buildings.

Loki was awake, lying next to me and just staring up at the ceiling.

“Merry Christmas, love.” I hummed, rolling over to nuzzle his neck.

He blinked slowly and turned over to look at me. He seemed dazed for a minute and just looked at me, but he slowly smiled at me and wrapped his arms behind my back.

“Merry Christmas Vey.” He rumbled, sighing deeply.

I got out of bed and padded into the living room. Several emerald-wrapped presents sat next to the ones I wrapped for Loki, the green paper looking much more picturesque than the visibly-crinkled pink paper.

I scooped all of the presents up and placed them on the coffee table.

Loki shuffled in, his raven hair a disheveled mess. I beamed at him and he covered his mouth to yawn.

He sat down next to me and watched bemusedly as I picked up all of my presents and gently shook them around in an attempt to figure out what was inside them.

I raised my eyebrows at Loki as I had the smallest present held up to my ear and he let out a breathy laugh and smirked at me.

“Can I?” I asked, grinning.

He nodded, raising one eyebrow.

I ripped the paper off of the package and wiggled my eyebrows at Loki.

The first present was a gold ring that looked like a tiny serpent that wrapped around my finger three times. Loki explained that it was magic, that it protected the wearer from burns.

I gave Loki the oak wood box with the bottle of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti inside of it. Loki grinned and held the bottle in his hands, reading the card that came with it.

“This wine claims to taste of velvet and satin.” Loki mused, pleased. “We shall find out later, yes?”

I winked at him and he chuckled.

The next thing that I opened was a beautiful necklace made out of sliver, pearls, and rubies. The pearl on the bottom, called La Peregrina Pearl, was one of the largest, perfectly shaped pearls in the world. I instantly loved it, the small rubies were the color of blood and the necklace made a sharp contrast to my black skin.

Loki opened the box that held the solid gold and silver chess set that I had stolen for him and he was pleased with it, holding the gold queen adorned with little jewels and smiling.

Loki put on the scarf that I bought for him and laughed aloud when he saw the mug that said “World’s Okayest Entry-Level Employee” on it.

Loki also got me a small globe tank with three small purple jellyfish drifting around inside of it, which I loved, and a sword made out of coral pink crystal that would never dull and could cut through nearly anything.

I was irritated with myself for not thinking to go off world to get something for him; I could have stolen something from Asgard had I thought of it, but Loki seemed happy with what I gave him.

“Wait,” I told Loki as he was just about to get up. “There’s one more thing.”

I went over to the tree and picked up a small rectangular package that was only slightly bigger than my hand that was hiding underneath one of the lowest boughs.

I held it out to him, expressionless, and my eyes darted between his and the box.

Loki lowered one eyebrow and took it, examining the box in curiosity.

I sat down next to him and silently watched him.

He glanced at me, trying to read my face for what was inside of the box, and he tugged the white string tied around it.

It seemed like it took ten eons for him to open the box, but when he did tear the paper off and open the lid he didn’t move.

There was that little white pregnancy test and Loki just stared at it for a minute, not comprehending what it meant.

“You… You’re pregnant…?” Loki said slowly, his wide eyes unwavering from the plastic.

I nodded, suddenly scared that this isn’t what he wanted, scared that he was going to be angry or upset.

He looked up at me, his lips parted in shock. Tears were welling up in his eyes and his face suddenly split into a wide grin. He laughed and shook his head and I let out the breath I was holding in relief.

He wrapped his arms around me and started sobbing and laughing at the same time and I started crying too, an overwhelming amount of love and happiness and fright washing over me.

“By the – gods –” He managed, pulling away from me and placing his shaky hands on my belly. “What – what have we done to be so – _blessed_?”

I laughed at that, holding his hands as he leaned down to put his forehead on my belly.

It took about an hour for the two of us to calm down and stop laughing and crying.

I just laid on the couch, still not quite believing what was happening, but Loki was antsy and paced around, smiling to himself.

Loki made us both a delicious meal of meat, bread, cheesy potatoes, and a few other things that I didn’t even get a good look at before I wolfed down.

Full and happy, I curled up on the couch with Loki and we watched a movie that was on television called “A Christmas Story” which I thought was funny.

Natasha came over in the evening and I introduced her to Loki and she beamed at the both of us and told us that she was ecstatic for us. Loki didn’t seem to like her oddly, he smiled at her and spoke to her with ease but when she wasn’t looking at him, I noticed that the muscles in his face were tight and he held himself stiffly.

Natasha helped eat some of the leftovers for dinner and I gave her the stained glass star and the stuffed animal, which she liked to my relief.

She had gotten me a small, very soft blanket that was a light blue with little yellow stars sewn onto it.

“I know it’s a little early to be buying baby stuff, but I couldn’t help it.” Natasha beamed at me and I sniffed and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and hugged her.

Natasha left and I looked down at the baby blanket for a while, smiling to myself. Loki reached out to touch the blanket too, frowning somewhat.

“Did you not like Natasha?” I asked, looking up at him.

Loki pursed his lips. “Well she did fight against me in the battle for New York City and she did manage to trick me.” Loki shrugged. “I knew that you had a friend, but I never dreamed it would be one of the _Avengers_.”

I blinked. I had _known_ that she had fought Loki; I knew who Natasha was, I just hadn’t put two and two together. What the hell, I wasn’t usually that dumb.

“I like her, though.” I insisted and Loki rolled his eyes, smirking.

“Hey, if you can work for Stark I can be friends with Natasha.” I said stubbornly, pointing my finger at him.

“Working for Stark to learn secrets and _befriending_ an assassin are two vastly different situations.” Loki defended and I scowled playfully at him.

We went to sleep not long after that, I was still full of dinner and my eyes were getting harder and harder to keep open.

Loki curled protectively around me, one of his large hands on my stomach, and I closed my eyes, loving feeling so safe in his arms.

 

We both stayed home for New Years, as it seemed a loud and raucous holiday; most of what you did to celebrate was drink and be stupid, neither of which I had a desire to do.

I could see Times Square from our bedroom window and I saw a lot of fireworks whiz into the air at exactly midnight.

Loki went back to work two days after the New Year began, something he was reluctant to do now that he knew I was pregnant.

I convinced him to go eventually, promising that I would text him often to assure him that I was alright.

Natasha was on a ‘business trip’ so I wandered around the streets by myself.

I had an overpowering craving for sugary soda that the Midgardians drank so much of; I had never had the stuff but the smell of it was driving me crazy.

I got the largest tub-like cup of something called ‘root beer’ that I could buy, after a very confused shopkeeper assured me that regardless of it being called ‘beer’, it wasn’t alcoholic and contained 44 ounces of sugar, caffeine, and syrup.

I sucked it down happily as I walked, sad that all of the Christmas decorations were gone now.

The enormous soda was just as delicious as I had wanted it to be, but it caused several trips to the restroom in just a few hours.

I smelled something that made me stop dead and open my mouth to drink in the scent.

It was blood, definitely, and I glanced around me to see a butcher shop where a man was cutting some sort of meat by a window, red coppery blood staining his smock.

The sight of it sent me drooling, but I didn’t want something that was already dead. I craved something warm.

I scurried around the streets, refusing to let myself eat the first person I bumped in to. I needed to save my savage appetite for someone that wouldn’t be missed.

I thought of that man that I had been pursuing when I met Natasha, but I didn’t know how I would find him now.

I abandoned my soda and whisked away in a shadow, something very risky to do in broad daylight, but I was just so _hungry_.

I stalked around for a few hours in alleyways, my patience running thin.

I started prowling around more apartment buildings, hoping to find someone that had just killed someone else like last time, but no such luck.

Blind, monstrous hunger was consuming my every thought now, and I had just enough sense to get well away from the city before I came across an unlucky someone driving down a poorly snow-plowed road, alone.

I wretched the car off of the road in a crash of metal and glass breaking and the man inside didn’t get a chance to scream before I dragged him out through the window and twisted his neck around in a complete circle.

I tore the body apart, spraying blood all over myself and the clean snow, savoring the life and the bones in my teeth.

There was hardly anything left by the time I licked my hands clean of the salty, tangy blood.

I wasn’t blindly ravenous now, but I still wasn’t satisfied.

I left the mess and headed back to the city.

I stole all of the fried food some woman was selling from a cart and shoved her down into the snow and tore back to our apartment.

I wolfed down all of the funnel cakes and hotdogs and chips I had taken, glad Loki wasn’t around to see me making such piggish noises as I ate.

 _Finally_ I was full, and I lounged on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, feeling sleepy.

 

That’s all I did for two months; ate like a monster and then slept for at least 10 hours.

I had the hunger of a jealous god, consuming food enough for a creature four times my size.

Loki was patient and accommodating to my new and seemingly dire needs; he went hunting for humans when I wanted them and he was perfectly fine with going to a convenience store at three in the morning after whatever thing it was mandatory that I had at that instant; he wasn’t sleeping much anyway.

I was ill more often than not, but Loki assured me that it was normal. For the first trimester I would be constantly eating and constantly vacating my stomach, it seemed. Loki told me that it would lessen as I began my second trimester, but for now I was a starving little monster who couldn’t be bothered to keep up the appearance of a human anymore.

I cried a lot for no reason, and whenever Loki was home, I was firmly planted on his lap. I felt like I needed him now more than ever and after a stressful day of being pregnant, his smell did a lot to comfort me.

Loki wasn’t getting any more sleep, but on the surface he was looking healthier. The bruises under his eyes were gone at the very least.

When I did leave the apartment, I was meeting up with Natasha somewhere. She was sympathetic about my nausea and she was curious; she had never been pregnant. She was growing her hair out long and she was straightening it and I told her how much it suited her.

Loki only slept once every two weeks anymore, and when he did, he wanted to be curled up around me. He said that he was having a lot of nightmares, he wouldn’t tell me what about. Loki wanted to go back to Asgard for the remainder of my pregnancy, insisting that it would be safer and more comfortable for both me and our baby. I told him that he wasn’t wrong, but it would be harder to appease my hunger on Asgard. And, I argued, I felt safer here than on Asgard. If we returned there we would have to live under the threat of Riheil again, something I couldn’t stand to do with a baby in my belly.

I caught Loki shirtless one day as he sauntered from the bathroom to our bedroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, which wasn’t unusual, but my eyes caught a pink mark on his belly and suddenly I remembered seeing that same scar on his stomach what seemed like years ago back on Asgard.

I appeared standing in front of him staring up into his face.

He raised one eyebrow at me as he looked down at me. He had bags under his eyes like he used to, and it occurred to me that this was a crack in his façade. He was only giving me the illusion that his skin was unblemished by tiredness and wounds.

I moved my hand and placed it on his stomach where his scar was.

His expression shifted just _slightly_ into alarm, and the change was so small that not many others would have noticed it.

“Is something wrong?” He asked me in a falsely cool voice.

I just studied him, my eyes flicking between his.

“What’s this on your stomach?” I asked quietly.

“What are you talking about, darling?” He asked.

I didn’t move my hand because I knew he would be hiding the scar anyway. I just stared at him and he stared back at me, his stony face getting harder to keep. I hadn’t been ready to ask him about his scar the first time that I saw it, but I needed to know now. No more secrets.

Loki sighed through his nose and closed his eyes.

“You have enough worries without me adding anything to your burden.” He murmured.

“Your burdens are my burdens, Loki. It isn’t as if this is a casual relationship.” I replied.

Loki smirked a tiny bit, his clothes appearing on his body as he willed them.

“Some information is better kept secret. You’ll be less troubled without it.”

I waited.

Loki opened his eyes, studying me.

“…Very well.” He said finally, walking over to the couch and sitting down.

I sat next to him and his vacant eyes drifted into the fire.

“Remember Svartalfhiem, when you had thought that I died?”

I remembered it vividly, the memory bringing pain to my stomach. Night fell and my eyes saw things that weren’t there and then suddenly Loki was holding me again.

“There isn’t…night… on Svartalfhiem.” He began. “The sun never sets there.”

He paused for a minute, trying to find the right words.

“What you saw was an illusion. You retreated into your head after I was hurt, and that’s what you saw in your tortured mind.

“I never planned to fake my death. I never made a scheme to take the throne stemming from Thor taking us out of the dungeons. Truthfully, I just planned on escaping with you after Thor had saved Jane from the Aether. What you saw… the Kursed impaling me with its blade… that wasn’t a fiction.”

Loki blinked several times and turned to look at me. “I died on Svartalfhiem.”

My eyes darted to the fire and back to Loki. “You… you didn’t. You’re here now, you survived that.”

Loki pursed his lips. “I survived and I didn’t. My heart stopped and for a time I was a corpse that you cried over. I remember being dead; I remember nothing but darkness. But… there was a voice in the darkness. I could hear you bellowing over me, screaming at the top of your voice. I couldn’t move but… my body mended itself and my heart started beating again.

“When I opened my eyes you were lying beside me, comatose. You weren’t dead, you can’t die, but you didn’t seem to be alive, either. It took a lot of begging and a lot of magic, but I managed to wake you up again. I couldn’t bear to tell you the truth, and so I lied. I still don’t know exactly how I came back; it would seem like bearing half of your heart is what did it, but if that were all then my… then Frigga would have been brought back, too.

“I think that you brought be back because you chose to. Because you loved me so much that we were one being. Because your heart broke for me.”

I just gawked at him.

“You actually did _die_?” I repeated faintly.

“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now.”

My eyes fell to Loki’s hands. That couldn’t be. I couldn’t have brought him back, I was a being of destruction and death. Not life.

“Does this distress you?” Loki worried.

I swallowed and shook my head. “It confuses me, but I’m glad that you told me.”

“You’re not angry?”

“No. I’m just glad that whatever it was that brought you back did.” I hummed, reaching out to brush his face with my thumb.

He smiled warmly down at me and kissed me.

Well, that was one mystery solved and another uncovered.


End file.
